People kept trying to smell my armpits over the weekend only to find either Bull’s Blood by Imaginary Authors or You or Someone Like You by Etat Libre d’Orange and while peer pressure hasn’t gotten to me yet, a part of me is kinda sad I couldn’t indulge those boys. I’m fighting a losing battle 😔

Turns out that what I needed was to make friends in their 30s and two weeks later I’m free from the ennui and back to dangerous levels of Living Deliciously so nevermind all that. Give that millennial a chance TODAY

I feel like developing a smidge of religious psychosis this fall could be very chic, very baroque, very justifying the name (St.) Sebastian

very on the nose / eye-roll-inducing that I serendipitously find a Joan Didion essay to go along with whatever Big Emotion I’m feeling anyways I’m reading The White Album now

I’d love having the type of brain that lets you laugh at the CEO’s canned jokes during this town hall. My coworkers are having a ki. Being the average Applebee’s core suburban American must feel sooooo good.

Making prolonged eye contact with a really hot guy :) Wearing a Hamilton hoodie :(

Roomie is on the “revenge body” part of post-breakup mania and thinks he’ll look like Chris Bumstead in 8 weeks off chickpeas alone. He’s been negotiating with ChatGPT about it while listening to Beyoncé’s Jolene on repeat. I love gay people.

Metrograph calling a film techno-scored when the trailer is clearly dnb :c

taking pictures instead of finally unpacking from Folsom :(

Walked by a lesbian bar and saw a woman, presumably a lesbian, with a hat that said “NO BORGES” on the brim. What could she possibly mean…

At the function proselytizing the virtues of Brian Eno’s Music for Airports to tweakers looking for a comedown

also since I don’t have my hashtag millennial friends on Instagram, Folsom was cute and I felt really good about the muscle definition I had going on without flexing or a pump :)

Everyone in the SoMa Fitness SF smells like armpits :(

Pups are messaging me on Instagram and trying to schedule Folsom cockings, find out we have 0 party overlap, and then act as if I’m the weird one for knowing and caring about who Herrenscheide and Lydo are. God I really belong in Brooklyn (heartbreaking)

How it feels to schedule PTO the Mondays after Folsom and Halloween because you know you’ll carry too severely while your coworkers list stuff like “school holiday with kids” and “wedding prep”

my gym needs a posing room because this back pump would’ve looked crazy when it was fresh / in better lighting but I’ll take it

I love making the silliest stuff

About to go do hot yoga — an activity I’m not interested in, why would you make yoga hot… With a coworker — a person I’m not interested in… Because she’s 3 levels above me and kiking with people is part of my evaluation metrics :/

Experienced a bout of bisexual panic so fierce last night that I expeditiously found a gay guy to make out with so I didn’t have to open that can of worms nor think about all that and I think that’s beautiful

I’ve been in a SeRioUs pack before and nothing could’ve prepared me for how incestuous and lovey-dovey my roommate’s friend group of Standard Issue Brooklyn Gay Guys is… frankly… kinda jealous

Every other bar on the LES has the amorphously… mid century modern-Nordic squiggly-lines-in-primary colors recessed-lighting simple cedar furniture with grated wood paneling… thing going on and I’m HEARTBROKEN because that is MY aesthetic sensibility don’t make it straggot and HR girl coded OMG

I’m getting bicep veins and stretch marks so I’m feeling very whatever the himbo version of cunt is

Went to Uniqlo for office basics and of course only liked stuff from the JW Anderson collection so I’m susceptible to propaganda

I need to start posting more on here to communicate with my #millennial friends

me lately

The girls finally saw the light and are suggesting apartments on Clinton Hill, Park Slope, LIC, Greenpoint. Like we literally could get a duplex for the price of their apartment that leaks sand from the roof on W 103. All it took was 2 months of daily fighting.

made two people bigger than me cum hands free so it’s going to be a top summer

I’m Beau Travail-maxing today (rough housing before the gym with homoerotic undertones)

It happened to me too — I have tragically become a design magazine subscriber

I love Events…it’s so important to see like 50% of the people you know on at least a biweekly basis

The worst thing about me is that I like the Miami Cuban accent because the core of my New York friends are Miami Cubans

removing any joy that techno brought me by deciding that live coding it on Haskell would be my project for this dumb 1-credit class. There is no way to make this process sexy. God never meant for music to be produced via algorithm.

obsessedddd with telling people they can stay with me during Wire, not knowing if I'll have an apartment or not that weekend yesssss

"I thought GitHub was like a Sniffies type of deal"

Predicting a stomp clap hey revival by 2035

Wanted to do movement until the lineup dropped

Doing the whole health and wellness thing so I can look sexier while breathing in Unidentified Party Fog No. 45210–which will be revealed as a carcinogen in 2032–and I think beautiful

When a big latex-clad pup-yote gives you THIS look, wyd 👀 (commission for Poncho! Thanks Ponch!)

heartbreaking: Zyns are great for cutting and now I am one of #those people

This gym thing is gross because why am on the kitchen floor forcing yogurt down my thrussy to hit my protein

Love2Explain the concept of pup play and a pack to my therapist because I forgot to take my collar off

My (very normal, by the grace of god) friends rolled at the Very Bald Man’s set and it made them want to pet me and call me good boy. Making a note of that

Missives from San Francisco: saw a twink pound Wellbutrin, PreP, Zyn (espresso flavored), and a bump in 5 seconds

Looked up the lyrics to 24hr Dog and put my phone down immediately. I dont think 11am on a Friday is Eusexua time

I don't even know how to post on here. It's giving Slack or Teams. Letting my brainrot flow here feels wrong, and that's like the entirety of my appeal 😔

Bumped into the first guy I ever hooked up with and he has 2 kids from 2 moms and CPS took both of them. God didn’t give me a kitty because CPS would have a 3rd half-sibling to deal with omg

Writing about a movie on Letterboxd while people shoot at each other somewhere outside. Life is about contrasts.

Pizza restaurant I’m in rn is playing the craziest house set I’ve heard in my life and I NEED to know what it is. There’s bangers everywhere for those with hearts ready to receive them.

Turns out that what I was hating on was hardstyle. My apologies to the 160 bpm girlies, you know what's in my heart