Dad got the letter he was expecting but still hurt him today. His driving licence has been revoked on medical grounds. I did point out that at least they're close now, and we can take them anywhere they need to go. He barely drove anyway, and it was the right decision, but it was sad to see.

What a pissing nightmare it's proving to get adequate pain relief off the GP. I feel like a right druggie just for wanting some goddamn codeine for this bastard 😑

I'm getting a half knee replacement on the 8th of April! An early birthday present from mum. The surgeon was everything I'd want. No flannel, no small-talk, just absolutely to the point. Xray today showed it's bone on bone. Lucky not to have to wait standard 18 months NHS time. I'm a lucky twat.

Loving Predator Badlands!!

Woke up in agony and cried my eyes out. Fuck arthritis. I know I could have worse, but JFC. I'm not a lazy cunt. I just want functioning joints. Have had codeine and hopefully a bit more kip.

Because I'm totally anal about my lovely bathroom, I have dispensers & glass bottles for my products rather than loads of random containers. The only bubble bath that matches (in its glass bottle) is Badedas. Every time I run the bath, I sing Baddadan as I add it. open.spotify.com/track/2ZWmmr...

Had a perfectly pleasant, forthright patient today who, when I asked her about her contraception, said that she was happy with it, but people claimed she was "evil." I said, "Had you considered that, just maybe, it's a them problem, and *they're* the arseholes?" 😂 She agreed.

Lint has been coughing and hacking for a couple of days. Poor thing. Obviously I'll have to kill him if I catch it.

Loving my Heavy Metal Hairdressers socks. I feel we ought to be allowed to wear shorts at work when socks are awesome 🧦🧦

Kids played a blinder clearing out the majority of the remaining crap at mum and dad's old house this weekend. Skip full, van load taken to tip, and remaining things brought down. We did good with those bairns. Just need to find a home for everything at the bungalow and chuck some more stuff out 🥴

Admiring my pedi in the post treatment room. Now for lunch and possibly a snooze. Unbearable stuff.

Aaaaand relax 😌

I have a spa day tomorrow. Just me, a book, and a robe.

Throwback to 1988. Found this among family photos from a trip to America. Somewhere in California.

Aww, my boy 🥹🤘

Daughter bought me a label maker. Obviously I'm using it for important labels, because I'm a grown-up.

Psst. Anyone want to buy a house? 😁 Properties For Sale in Ovingham | Rightmove share.google/khDGeDK7gS9t...

We are out!

Son is here for a couple of days. Went into the spare room this morning to find his bed made all tidy. Thought, "Wtf?" then remembered. Ex army 😂

Seeing a man about a knee on the 19th!! Was just singing, "🎶 I'm gonna get a new knee, lalala...🎶" and one of the HCAs heard me 😂 It's mad to be excited but I'm so sick to fuck of pain now.

Only the 6th day of 2026 and I'm already writing "purulent discharge" in notes. I love my job 😆 Santa brought some unwanted prezzies 🦠

Good morning 🤘 open.spotify.com/track/7DNjlP...

Lovely veggie chilli for dinner last night. Scared to leave the house this morning 💩😬

400 mile drive to and from Northumberland today to collect more of the 'rents crap. Really weird being there now. Hopefully we can empty it and get it sold sharpish. Anyone after a lovely detached house by the Tyne? 🙏 🤣

I haven't worn my smartwatch today because I haven't moved except to eat pizza. It would only have told me to do some steps or some shit, and no-one needs that kind of negativity.

The sky has gone a funny colour. Is it the apocalypse??

Merry new year, you fabulous knobbers xx

According to the dogs, it just exploded.

To this day, I remember my brother and sister taking the piss out of 7 year old me because I said, "Stop talking, you're making me itch!" I had lunch in my room at work because everyone in the staff room was, too. I'm sure some people understand. Itchy bastards 😂

The past few months have, as you know, been hard. They've also stirred up a whole lot of "wtf?" in my brain, and for the first time in my life, I'm considering therapy to talk shit out. Have any of you done it? Is it scary or good?

Drove to work this morning with a sample of neighbour's piss in a water bottle so I could test it at work. Spent the whole journey reminding myself which bottle not to drink from 🥴😂

Nuts. Checked the off-duty today. Had thought I was only in today and tomorrow but turns out I'm in NY eve. Shall I just pretend I didn't see it? 😂

There's a little fairy garden in the dog shower outside 🍄

Just weighed myself and I've lost 2kg. Not intentionally. Stress is a cunt. But I intend to stay in bed, eating, until I've put it back on 😂 Hope you've all had a lovely Christmas 🎄

Happy Christmas, from my madhouse to yours ❤️🐓🎄

The boy is home for Christmas, with bonus Baker. I'm happy now. They are soothing company 😌 ❤️

Our neighbours decided to use "Gentle parenting" with their daughter, now 2½. It seems to have been going really well these past weeks 👀

Get in my face, you beautiful bastard 😁

Finally got a tree up! I'd given mine to mum & dad so they could have one, & have been lacking in Christmas spirit & energy. There were few left today, but I got an ex display, pre-lit one half price. Christmas is on! 🎄 Complete with Jesus holding my least favourite animal thanks to "friend" 😂

I am in Tesco. Apparently, so is the rest of the population.

I have had a bloody lovely day. Had my first oysters and they were sublime. Home and in my pyjamas now, happy and full 😊

Well there's no getting out of it now. London here I come 😬

Spent days panicking about what to wear to London today. Have gone with "Fuck it. I'm wearing jeans." Who gives a fuck 😂 I can't be what I'm not.

Holy shit. All these wasted years!!!

I love this heart warming tale of a really insufferable prick choosing a life of getting repeatedly punched in the face on his journey to developing CTE.

New phone's auto spell hadn't yet recognised how often I write "fuck", "twat", "cunt" etc yet, and keeps changing them to less profane words 😂

Morning walkies. At least it's stopped pissing down!

Third time lucky. Twice now the window fitters have been, only to find that the window had been made the wrong bastard size. We now have a new window and may yet get to have a Christmas tree if I can be arsed 🎄

I have a new phone, which is good, but it's a massive ballache setting it all up again!!!