Cole Bassett has the right mentality. #RCTID

I imagine MP texting this to Phil during halftime.

Can’t wait to see which MLS team gets Kevin Kelsey next year. /s

Announcer: in this weather this match could come down to set pieces. Timbers fans: #RCTID

I’m trying to keep my new NZ addiction to 2 Tim Tams a day or less. 🤤

I have no idea what P.K gum actually is, but I imagine it tastes like the stress and joy of the Double Posts game.

Is a log slice cut for an opposite team own goal? If yes, who is awarded the slice? #RCTID #imnewhere

I just started rewatching Mad Men. I know it’s fiction, but honestly, men have not really changed that much.

People leave bikes outside unlocked while shopping and my brain just cannot comprehend that idea. 🤯

We have finished our research study on the prolific use of indoor aquariums, and the age old question as to why humans enjoy them so much. We have concluded that it caused by the sudden presence of indoor-fins.

I’m delighted that my phone ads are now serving up New Zealand content and the podcast ads are in kiwi voices.

Watching Timbers from the other side of the world with my breakfast. 😣

Daily walking mantra: on the left on the left traffic and people are on the left. 😂

Getting a new washer with a single water hookup, and a dryer that doesn’t vent outside and doesn’t use a drain hose. So that’s gonna be a whole new adventure. 😂

This tiny avocado pit. 💕

2 wins in a season! WE’RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE! #RCTID

The amount of things you can find #gf is astounding. But it’s not just that, it’s the knowledge of the staff, the kindness and consideration.. it feels really good to feel kind of normal. #ceoliac #NZGF

Gluten free food here is … available everywhere and not overpriced. I just bought a big package of Gf gnocchi for $4.39 NZ dollars. FOUR FUCKING DOLLARS. 🤯

Golf balls for buying soccer tickets makes perfect sense. In this essay I will …

Walked to the beach today. FROM MY HOUSE.

Australian swamp hens on the trail behind my apartment.

I saw friendly police who asked a person in distress on the streets here how they could best help them. With actual concern and empathy. 🤯

iNaturalist is teaching me how to identify plant species and wildlife all over the world and man, I could not love this app more.

I was waaayyyyy more stressed than I needed to be about moving my cat and him doing quarantine. The staff at the facility were so nice. He is just as much of an asshole as ever. You’d never know he moved across the world. Glad I spent a year fucking stressed sick about it. 😝

My cat ate like a fuckin beast after we picked him up from quarantine. Turns out he really loves champagne ham.

I have my cat back, my husband with me and a new condo on the other side of the world. New life officially starts now. 🥝

I watch Rugby now.

Let them eat cake!

The internet has taught me I’d rather be a robot, and not have to take all the authentication tests.

Anyway. I live on the other side of the world now where people are kind to each other and empathy is celebrated and encouraged. It’s going to take a while to get used to.

Auckland gets logos right.

Somewhere a woman is probably being fired for Trump’s latest ai posts.

Kevin Kelsy that’s who they wanna be. *boom boom clap* Kevin Kelsy rolling like a celebrity. *boom boom clap* Kevin Kelsey! Kevin Kelsey! Living in PTFC (To the tune of Beverly Hills, by Weezer)

Adi Adi Adi Oi Oi Oi!

Announcer just said “Timber Joey is going to carve the log” BRO. 🛑 ✋

I’m “unplug the Alexa in my Air bnb” years old.

beach intro successful! 🐈‍⬛ pros: sand digging, creeping around on driftwood, rock climbing. 🐈‍⬛ cons: noise level, birds circling overhead, wind

Dear all asshole Airbnb hosts: STOP putting “All Pets welcome” in your listing if you don’t allow cats. Pets include cats. My cat is cleaner and more well behaved than most dogs.

So the World Cup is… not a cup, it’s a trophy?

Marty Supreme is terrible. Did anyone like this movie? Big Ick.

When the challenger blew up as we watched in class, someone yelled “one less teacher in the world!” And most of the class clapped. And laughed. damn right i am GenX, we weren’t raised right. Go fuck your feelings.

me: 🙀 My 🧠 : Eat more potatoes.

Gee. I wonder what will happen when the US exhausts its munitions supplies and ground troops? I sure wish history had taught us about what to expect next.

I had to do bullshit Teams updates from space, I’d be SO pissed.

🚊 💥

Sagacity media selling for $1.6m is … oof. That’s just hurts to read.

Personally I just can’t stand the laziness of influencer Get Ready With Me videos. If I was paying someone to make that content, I’d be big mad at that filler slop. This is why I don’t work in marketing anymore.

Uber drivers are now claiming scheduled pickups and getting paid for them while leaving you stranded waiting on your ride. Cancelling costs YOU money, resolution only available via chat bots. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

Hey @timbers.com NOW will you remove the BOA sponsors off the kits? You should be ashamed to allow this trash company to have any place in your legacy. #RCTID

Bank of America To Pay $72.5 Million In Epstein Victims Settlement — Bank of America agreed to a $72.5 million settlement in a class action lawsuit brought by Jeffrey Epstein victims, according to statements reported in court filings. The deal follows allegations that the bank helped…