Is there anyone besides the front office excited about those god awful piss yellow kits? Sorry, maybe piss is strong imagery. Bile yellow kits.

Here’s a fun thought experiment: How many CDs would you own if listening to music had never (d)evolved past that format?

It’s wild that in Oregon an 800k house is not considered a luxury home.

💰 Million dollar app idea: A phone number where you can call a company and talk to a HUMAN.

Boy no one who works at any delivery service has a single fuck yo give. They just roll up smoking vape pens in their rented Teslas stoned af with the completely wrong order with wrong addresses and names on them.. and just shrug when you tell them it’s wrong.

Apparently the fancy large private cat condo room bigger than my bedroom with its own private catio is not satisfactory for my cat to stay in, and he is giving off his worst “I BIG CAT .. GROWL YOWL GROWL NO TOUCH” territorial bullshit vibes today. :/

I’m so tired of waking up every day and dealing with contractors.

Apple really needs a “Compare a new iPhone to Every iPhone You Have Ever Owned” feature.

Me: “The prep work is what I want you to focus on, I’ll pay extra for it. make sure you clean it up before you start priming. Scrape, fill in th holes, you know, prep. Make it look nice. “ I walk away. painters:

Is that new kit highlighter yellow, or highlighter green?

when is the last time you could go through an entire day without a digital reminder or looking at a phone?

At 6:00 pm I collapsed into bed with a bag of Pirates Booty. It will be a miracle if I’m awake past 8:00 pm.

AT&T bought my (and your) Century Link fiber service. The email basically said “Less options are just so GOOD at maintaining fair pricing for consumers!” Without using sarcasm font.

@oamike.bsky.social @shellwitty.bsky.social I have GA for opening day, we want to stand with you all in 104! Let me know when to catch you in line. Do you all still get wbs?

You can tell the level of neurospiciness by the number of and naming conventions a person uses for their alarms.

My Phone screen just shattered and it took me 5 mins to write this beaver of smash typos.

May the Epstein files remind every woman that she should not feel beholden to beauty standards established by men who are attracted to children.

A Multnomah County jury has awarded more than $760,000 to our client Cider Riot owner Abram Goldman-Armstrong after finding defendants associated with the far-right group Patriot Prayer liable for a violent 2019 attack. Even though the justice system moves slowly, we will always stay the course.

This may be the busiest and most stressful month of my life.

My friend was parked at an Urgent Care seeing a doctor, and got a ticket for expired tags. Fuck this entire country, she can’t afford the ER she desperately needs, and instead, she has to go get her tags registered to hopefully avoid the expensive ticket.

Oh our Minneapolis, I hear your voice Singing through the bloody mist We’ll take our stand for this land And the stranger in our midst Directed by Thom Zimny Edited by Thom Zimny and Samuel Shapiro Production Footage: Pam Springsteen and Thom Zimny

But what if I’m a mermaid in these jeans with her name still on them… 🎶

I was watching a Gen Z reacts to 90s music video and one of the kids said GNR’s November Rain was”Giving Elton John at the piano vibes” and now you jus have to share that thought I’ll never unthink with me.

I had tiramisu and peanut butter cups for dinner. My lunch was goat cheese and mustard. Yes, I’m doing great.

There is no way past the bots at Nextdoor. There is no way to resolve an issue via any means, no matter how many cases you have submitted, they refuse.

I think my most natural hair state is neither straight, nor curly or wavy, it is more like … crimped.

This is the best internet in a very long time. 😂

I honestly don’t expect much from anyone in 2026, but if this could be the year that humans stop telling people to self publish to legitimize their personal brand, that would be swell.

Do your cats also shovel dry food into their faces like an actual pig snuffling in mud, or is my cat just extra special?

I enjoy reading about Dystopian futures, but not living in dystopian futures.

If you only click though on the ridiculously expensive luxury brand ads on Insta your feed becomes a fashion magazine, and most importantly they stop sending all the Amazon affiliate link crap ads.

Anyway. Hopefully that was the very last time I ever have to go to Home Depot ever again.

When the fuck did Home Depot turn into scanning your own stuff and being forced like cattle thru one heavily guarded door?

I had an astrological signs convo with an employee at New Seasons and the cashier then decided his name was Chaos Ken the Capricorn. And now I need to go back for the next episode of My Own Private Portlandia ™️

Timeline cleanse. Fuzzy floof beans

Well, I have exhausted every point of contact, and Nextdoor will not allow me to delete my account, and are no longer responding to my many many many many multiple requests for help to resolve.

Hold assist is great for being directed to call an office to cancel an appt and then holding for over 30 mins while trying to talk to any human alive at OHSU. 😱💩

Also pretty hard to send your loved one to work at that campus today and have no idea if you’ll see them again.

I now have to consider if going to my doctor’s office, where the shooting happened yesterday, might cost me my life at the hand of a hyped up cosplaying cop.

mood.

So, apparently you can’t delete your Nextdoor account. EVER.

You guys remember privacy? That was nice.

Welp. Time to put all my medical records into a 3 ring binder and be the old person that refuses to use any kind of electronic communication. Fuck it.

I guess people see a pale redhead and think ‘oh this is a safe place to be racist with this very white girl’ cause man I am hearing some pretty racist shit lately. 😡

My Nextdoor account was suspended for a false name report. So I told them to delete my account. I’m now on 6 emails of them saying NO. I’m in a doom loop of fuckery so I’m going to start messaging the ND C Suite on Linked In until someone helps me.

It's an MTV simulator with almost 30,000 videos, organized by decade, with special sections for Headbanger's Ball and Yo! MTV Raps. This is so good.

God fucking forbid someone driving a Lyft or Uber actually helps you with a heavy ass bag.

I am so tired of “content” for the sole purpose of distraction and sales. Kill social media. It’s dead.

Oh Nextdoor, every time I post something for free or for sale I get suspended by your stupid bots, which is funny because I am verified, and a good number of the replies I get to my listings are BOTS.