stressed af so I just made some banana bread (which is in the oven now) and next up im trying my hand at a batch of Mexican wedding cookies

got the doctors release to go back to work tomorrow part time. id kinda rather die but its cool

watching Final Destinstion: Bloodlines (2025) and within 10 minutes my palms are sweating. these movies do that to me even if i don't really like them in general

Hopefully the aliens will do something

I've had a headache for two days and I hate it

my parents come back in a few days and im absolutely fucking dreading it. I gotta get outta here

I think if Sir Ian Mckellen met me and just gave me a chance we would be fast friends

oh yeah I took a selfie yesterday

yesssssss hbo finally has a deal so I can have it again for less than $3 a month im so excited there's so much to catch up on there

still cant sleep so giving up on dreams and going for the slice of pumpkin pie in the fridge

I cant sleep so im thinking about the dreams I've had when I could

November 27th 2014

its fuckin WIMDY

screaming like the red queen about how I need more bones

Just received a random Amazon package that was totally empty?? like it was properly sealed and looked normal and stuff but there was just... nothing in it. that's a first for me

I just feel like I should be able to delete myself from others memories if I choose

I don't have many problems that couldn't be fixed by money

a foggy evening

turning this sense of destruction inward by watching extreme French horror film Martyrs (2008) everything I've read of this leads me to believe that I will regret this. let's see :)

its a good thing I haven't come into any supernatural powers yet bc I am feeling destructive today

I don't think humans have souls. I think we are just a consciousness stored in the brain that guides a body around. People seem to hate that idea but I don't see how that minimizes experiences or is more depressing than believing in failed god

next rewatch (while I eat some delicious chicken soup i had going in the crockpot all day) is Pyewacket (2017) I've only seen it once and I don't remember much except it wad a good low budget flick so let's goooo

okay now its time for a nice comfortable rewatch that won't upset me at all : The Blackcoats Daughter (2015) (the most bothersome thing in remember is Emma Roberts lmao and also that it really confused me the first time I watched it)

starting Scary Movie Saturday with Companion (2025) which I've admittedly been putting off (even though i love Sophie Thatcher) bc im worried it will upset me but TODAY IS THE DAY

November 22nd 2023

I think id be really good at being gay with a beautiful woman and raising kids with her (baby goat variety)

I would love to find and open a secret door leading to something cute after a long and thorough scavenger hunt to get there. (louder) sure hope someone does that for me some day

people will post on reddit like: r/moldlyinteresting this mold randomly showed up in my bedroom should I be worried?

I always walk totally normally upon standing after having been curled up for awhile, and I definitely never hobble or limp a little as I get going haha nope, long strong strides baby

I hate how my eyeliner turned out today but I am facing the world with such bravery despite that

November 21st 2022 bat rescue at work (its so mad at us)

I investigate stuff and follow leads and close cases all the time but I keep it pretty quiet

today, 11 years ago

The Prince of Egypt (1998) is one of the best musicals ever made imo

its important to cultivate a good relationship with all creatures great and small bc you never know what size of help you may need one day

doing laps in the driveway and the two stray cats sit and watch me go back and forth with concern as if im stuck in an unfortunate time loop of sorts but I wave with each passing and grin like a lunatic bc I love the support

there is a moon that is larger than usual up in in sky now. it has eyes that are so big you can't tell where its looking. most people hide under their umbrellas as they walk outside, but i find comfort in its black gaze.

listening to Lordes Pure Heroine album takes me right back to smoking cigarettes in my 1998 dark green 5 speed corolla where I kept my hookah in the trunk

I would like to have up to 3 million dollars. I don't think id need any more than that really

sparkly gel pens have become increasingly important to me as I've gotten older

I have this feeling in my heart that I would be such a good beekeeper

there's very few things I believe in but one of them is that if I love you then you aren't allowed to die before me. YOU have to grieve ME , sorry!

I got a new lip gloss awhile ago and I love it so much I already want a backup

I missed a credit card payment for the first time in my life and its just bc I've had so much to keep track of lately but its so embarrassing

(morosely, clutching a cookie) I think i will have to put myself on a diet soon

my ex and I bought restraints for the bed and im just now realizing I don't know what happened to those so he must have taken them, damn. I wanted to use those some day

I think im going to watch Sinister (2012) and color in my coloring book for a little while that sounds nice

omg Misery (1990) is on tubi!! this has become a priority viewing for me bc I've had it on my list for ages (its not my usual style and I abhor Stephen King but I love Kathy bates so im here for her and her alone)

I've been feeding two stray cats for awhile now but now one came back pregnant so they are loterally going to eat every last cent I own at this rate lol I need child support smh

Just finished Saint Maud (2021) which id been putting off bc i knew it would be a hard watch for me and it WAS but also I enjoyed it, and I am glad I watched it but I cant see myself watching it again any time soon