Gluttony Month Icon, Day 6: Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) by MIKA From Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" and Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," to Morrissey's ode to buxom women, yes, even Morrissey, the man who hates everything, men have been writing about their love of large ladies forever

A Step-By-Step Breakdown is the title of my memoir

I had my scruples removed so I could suck my own dick.

Him: Why do you keep playing the lottery? Nobody wins. Me, a complete and utter nobody: I always knew you believed in me

Gluttony Month Icon, Day 5: V For Vendetta "Remember, Remember the 5th of November" A corrupt government hoards control, consuming all freedoms it can get its grubby hands on. V's explosive rebellion annihilates that excess, giving the awakened populace the chance to seize their own liberty.

The Wendy's girl has let herself go

I haven't had to think about John Rocker in over two decades and Eve Fartlow in probably 10 years give or take, and yet, I'm seeing both of these knuckleheads on my timeline, and

democratic party email subject lines always switch between corrupt preacher and horny. today it's horny

polluting an entire small town so I can craft the perfect A.I. video of Ronald Reagan saying, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear up my bussy”

the main lesson learned is you have to have the more fuckable candidate

we now take you to a live reaction of Debra Messing handling the election results

Gluttony Month Icon, Day 4: Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Borderline Racist Kwanza Cake Andrew Cuomo's former partner of 14 years (never married - imagine the wedding cake) making what has to be the most vile concoction ever put on film.

I, too, could use a mandate right about now

Don't blame me, I voted for Koch

Socialism is alive and Dick Cheney is dead

remember when Debra Messing was simply known as Coke Mom in the early days of gossip blogs

call me crazy, but I think Curtis Sliwa still has a shot

is Debra Messing wealthy enough to be JK Rowling level loony?

Chucky Schumer is exactly who you expect him to be. Good luck in 2028

mice get all the medical breakthroughs 😒

He was alone, head throbbing, mouth dry like sandpaper, the whiskey lingering on his tongue his only remaining friend. The evidence of last night's folly lay scattered around the cold, quiet room. Eyes watering from the harsh light, he choked out, "Time to Pokémon Go to the polls."

Years ago, at the nadir of my depression, the one thing I held onto was my need to outlive Dick Cheney so I can piss on his grave. This goal was the only thing keeping me tethered to this world. Now, I must find something else to live for, right after I get back from his funeral. Boy, am I thirsty

Gluttony Month Icon, Day 3: Fucking Garfield You hate Mondays, and I HATE YOU! The O.G. "Orange Man Bad" is a narcissistic, sentient landfill of entitlement, dripping with the smugness of a creature who knows he’s untouchable because the world enables his mediocrity. I hope you die in your sleep

crossed three coyotes and a hawk watching me from atop a branch on my afternoon dog walk. Nature is telling me to get out a skosh earlier

Godzilla Minus Pun (that is my contribution to Godzilla Day, which is a trending topic. look at me trying to be part of the discourse, and now I'm disgusted with myself)

washing my clothes on cold and delicate just like me

the Teva live chat doesn't open until 10AM... fuckin' hippie ass company

knowing that if Mamdani wins, I will spend the next however many years waking up and seeing the latest New York Post outrage bait every morning against my will, and now I want to go back to bed

"Bleak" is just "cozy" for the emotionally weathered

Oops! All Nuts November

you delete your posts. I never give mine a second thought. we are not the same

Gluttony Month Icon, Day 2: Cookie Monster An appetite for destruction focused solely on sugar and flour, Cookie Monster embodies a primal excess where his world is driven simply by the next bite. He reminds us that indulgence can be pure, joyful, and entirely without guilt.

well, goodnight everybody

being in a gym with 3 children’s basketball games happening simultaneously and sitting in front of another court where two dozen kids bouncing balls nonstop is really a treat for my stupid sound sensitive ears

I have to take my nephew to his basketball game, so if you haven't made it to church, please light a candle for me

The English language is constantly changing. Flight attendants were once stewardesses, administrative assistants replaced secretaries, and Influencers were originally Useful Idiots.

Happy end of Daylight Savings Time to all the creatures of the night. Go on gurl, it's called having a nightlife, sweetie. Look it up.

forever alone 😄

Bluesky watching the World Series

it might be time I start watching baseball this season

ointment is cream's cousin that got into medical school

Gluttony Month Icon, Day 1: After-Halloween Clearance Candy Fun-size candy, full-size regret. The piles of leftover chocolate bars, gummy worms, and sour patches scream indulgence and excess. It’s a time when self-control is tested, and the temptation to binge is at its peak.

I spent my dinner (alone) coming up with a dirty little ditty about a character named Jeff the Pumpkin Fucker in the style of Frosty The Snowman. It's actually... not that great (unpublishable)

replace bluesky's like and dislike buttons with toot or boot

money is tight so I can no longer afford to give two fucks. I had to downgrade to only one fuck but it includes free nights and weekends

my posts generally wind up on the undiscovered feed

#SaveSpeech starting Nov 1st we're entering the holiday season, which is a big stress point for big businesses like Mastercard and Visa. These Paypros havent stopped cracking down on Adult Content, so we need to jump back into calling them in full force again! stop-paypros.neocities.org

15 more sleeps until toyotathon eve!!!

in 50 years, a team of anthropologists find a locktober dude in a cave because his key holder never told him October had ended

The Lost Art of The Post-Halloween Craigslist Missed Connection