Fuck Trump. Fuck Republicans.

Jeez. Some of you people put WAAAAAY too much stock in sports. Calm the fuck down.

2 years of my kid in language immersion school. No class-wide health problems whatsoever. 2 months of 2nd grade? 2 lice outbreaks and one case of hand, foot and mouth disease in her grade. What the actual fuck?

Watched pre-teeth-work Nicolas Cage in Valley Girl last night. Just a dumb product-of-its-time movie, but a time capsule nonetheless. The oddest thing was the ages of the parents in relation to their kids in the movie. Some age differences in real life were only, like, 11 years. WTF?

How efficient is a silver bullet on a werewolf if you just graze it? Still deadly? I mean, what about the silver bullet makes it deadly? What killed werewolves before silver bullets were invented?

It's me. Hi. I'm Antifa. It's me. At tea time, everybody agrees.

The reason why it's so easy for people to kiss Trump's ass is because he's 100% ass.

WHAT. THE FUCK. IS THIS?!? Of all the things I have a handle on, it's my handle. And now, my handle is invalid?

Trumpa Lumpa

Confucius say: A NASCAR driver who can only make left turns is never right. Go huff fumes, Danica.

I'm still wondering why more ICE tires aren't getting slashed. Make it harder for them to move.

Man, I'm in full support of "punch nazi's", but these kids did the right thing. Awesome to see. More! More! More! Fuck nazis!

The Streisand Effect is going to be renamed The Epstein Effect.

I feel so bad for the drummer of Minneapolis band, Night Moves, who looks kind of like Jimmy Fallon. Of all the assholes in all the world to look like...

I can't believe boys would go here to get more stupider.

"release the Epstein files now"

The least C3 Presents could do is make their festival promotion posters look different. This is just lazy, uninspired design. I don't even want to look at the other festival poster designs. (Edit). I did. They have a style. I get it. They do a lot of stuff. Hire more than 2 designers, though.

Now after the whole UN thing, Trump wants to de-escalate this and de-escalate that. Chucklehead.

I think the Department of Justice should be renamed the Department of Just ICE.

Say hello to Broken Dolls! If you’re in NYC on Tuesday come to Twisted Spine where me and Clay McLeod Chapman will be talking about the book and you can meet some of the dolls!

"...and to you, Secretary Hegseth, we will sentence you to 20 years behind bars!" **Hegseth's alcoholism intensifies**

Trump is fucked if he tries to read this: HBD, Mark! @markhamillofficial.bsky.social

THIS IS THE IMAGE GOING ON THE CHARLIE KIRK COIN.

The worm in RFK, Jr.'s head.

All this giant humpback wale footage I'm seeing and nobody's talking about The Voyage of the Mimi? Shame!

Ruin a book with a car: Prius and Prejudice 1984-Runner Alice In Wonderland Rover Vanity Fairlaine A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Coupe De Ville Diary of a Wimpy Kia Soul The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Ford Galaxie Fried Green Tacomas Car and Peace Dodge RAMlet Ford of the Flies

"I'm Larry, this is my cousin Darryl and this is my other cousin, D.A.R.Y.L."

What about guns that shoot Tylenol bullets?

Wil Wheaton implies a Won't Wheaton

Trump, release the Epstein files. Release the escalator files. Release the bowels. Release Melania. Release us.

Mumble Acetaminophen Grumble Autism

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Robin, get into the Batmobile."

Ruth Bader Gin Blossoms Ruin a band with a Supreme Court Justice

How long before Trump starts hawking "autism-free" pain pills? Trumpenol? Trumpcetaminophen (but he can't pronounce it)? Acetrumpinophen?

Fucking Pumpkin Spice Presidents

People who believe in The Rapture can all kiss my Left Behind (TM).

Guess they aren't going to activate the Walter Soldier after all. Back in the ol' cryo chamber for you, Walt.

Technologically advance a band: R.A.M. New Kids on the Blockchain Depeche Modem Arcade Firewall The Sex Pixels

I bet ol' Walt's spinning in his cryogenic chamber right about now.

who called it "ex-husband" and not "wasband"?

I did my part. Good timing, too. Next billing date was in 2 days.

Darkest Timeline ABC

Worms have more of a spine than ABC.

Jimmy Kimmel can now be that Joe Rogan of the left that the Democrats were looking for all those months ago. 'Bout fucking time. Thanks, Trump!

Somewhere out there is a really ugly guy named Robert Redford waiting for his star to shine. Here's to you, ugly-Robert-Redford.

I just saw that today's date (9/16/25 in America, 16.9.25 in the civilized world) is a series of squares: 3x3/4x4/5x5 Everything is terrible, but that's something cool about today that we can all enjoy for a moment. Math is a language of the Universe. I love when I hear it like this. #numbernerd

James T. Kirk

My grandmother used to say I would have looked more like Robert Redford if I were handsome, blond, handsome, good looking, handsome, suave, handsome, young, handsome and good looking with nice teeth and a good, handsome smile. And charming and handsome.

I guess Robert Redford finally gets his wish to spend time with Charlie Kirk?