This Week's Onion Magazine:

Justice for Sue Storm. Redemption for the disrespect in the Fan 4 Stick move. Sue is the G.O.A.T. Sue is the MVP of First Steps #SueStorm #FantasticFour

Clown In A Cornfield-Most perfect title since Snakes on a Plane. Really good gory kills and laughs. Only thing missing was a higher body count. #ClownInACornfield

#Wicked #WickedForGood

I never want to hear 1 bad thing about him #PedroPascal

WE ARE GOING UP 😍 🔴⚪️ #WxmAFC

40th Anniversary panel of The Breakfast Club. First time in 40 years all members together. Nostalgia bomb. #TheBreakfastClub www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6qM...

Top Secret! and Real Genius were my childhood. Val Kilmer was the best.

I have introduced the new generation of film journalists to Rex Reed’s review of CABIN IN YHE WOODS. Amen. observer.com/2012/04/cabi...

I hate every single person that voted for that ass hole.

Gotta give it to Trump — he knows how to pick a winner & JINX the fuck out of that “Missouri” team he loves so much. @chiefs embrace Donald and lose, just like everything else that rapist beast touches.

Not sure how I feel about this. The show was perfection. Chloe Zhao directing the pilot is a good start. Nora and Lilla Zuckerman are writing, but I want some OG writers on the staff like Jane Espenson, Marti Noxon, Drew Goddard, Steven DeKnight... And IGNORE the comics. #Buffy

One episode in and I'm totally hooked on Sterling K. Brown and Paradise. I guarantee you'll be on board after the first episode. #Paradise.

Tik Tok is gone #TikTok

Possibly the best clap back against ignorant antivaxxers.

I don’t care about a potential draft pick in the top 6, Inwant to beat the Packers #BearDown

Stopping Squid Game S2 like that is terrible. That’s not a season. If you want to split up the season, say so. I hate Netflix. #SquidGame #SquidGame2

Spent the turning of the new year listening to Cynthia Erivo hit those notes in Defying Gravity. #WickedMovie #Wicked

Juror #2 was terrible. Starts off with Hoult giving a completely reasonable reason for not being in the jury and the judge brushing it off. Downhill from there with jurors insulting each other within minutes of deliberations which would not happen. #Juror2

Wrexham caught a break? Who knew that could happen? #WxmAFC

Really happy Alabama is out. I say Texas wins easy. I loathe OSU, but SEC fans, and Tenn fans, are terrible as well. I'll take OSU by a TD. Pedo State easily takes SMU. I want Indiana upsets their instate rival. #CFP

Wicked was EVERYTHING I wanted and more. There may have been tears at 3 points. Won't say where for spoiler's sake. Once this comes out on Blu, I'll watch it 1,000 times. It goes by so fast. #WickedMovie #Wicked

Anyone who argues Rodri didn't deserve the Ballon d'Or have to admit they were wrong. #ManCity is a bottom of the table team without him. And this bad season may get them out of those 115 charges as they won't even get and European Cups at this rate.

Ana Gasteyer and Kate Reinders were my Elphaba and Glinda in the OG Chicago production of Wicked. Both amazing. Still the best show I’ve ever seen. #Wicked #WickedMovie

If Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea can't beat Man City this year, just fold it up. They are terrible right now. #ManCity

Captain America no more. Sad. How can you play with teams in different countries, teammates from even more countries, and still support the MAGA nonsense? #USMNT

NBA-Bulls NFL-Bears NHL-Blackhawks College-The Underdog in any big game MLB-Cubs WNBA-Sky Soccer-Wrexham, Chicago Fire, Chicago Red Stars #Sports

Thought I would keep Twitter up in case Musk sold it. Then I heard all the nonsense about AI and fines and just deactivated it. Not worth it.

My role model #Buffy