We are now contractually obligated to tell kids “Santa says hi” to their single moms.

When you stare into the chasm but think “Gee, the leaves are pretty.”

Happy National Black Cat Day!

It takes a unique individual to make the word "ballroom" the most trashy term ever.

My new catchphrase is “What the fuck is wrong with everyone?!” while looking around bewildered every single fucking day.

I’m alternating between replying “Boo Berry” and “Well that’s a shit way to ring in our anniversary.”

Before the "It's 10 pm. Do you know where your children are?" PSAs.

I hope they hit a load-bearing wall during construction and all presidential functions have to be conducted out of RVs where the Rose Garden once was.

Kids don't realize back in our day cartoons actually had laughs tracks. It's as if the producers thought "Listen, if we can get them to believe 'The Flintstones' is filmed in front of a live studio audience then in 50 years they'll believe whatever insane shit we says about Tylenol and immigrants."

Sally Forth: Do you have the poor decision-making skills to take on the only amusement park made entirely of discarded tubing and drunk bets? Then ride the subplot of Sally Forth Summer Story 2025! @jimkeefe.bsky.social @comicskingdom.bsky.social #comic #comics #summer

Sally Forth: And yes, I'm a huge fan of the "Criterion Closet Picks" videos on YouTube @criterion.bsky.social @jimkeefe.bsky.social @comicskingdom.bsky.social

Sally Forth: The Forth Summer Grill Party has begun! So come on by and make sure to bring your own signature summer dish. @jimkeefe.bsky.social @comicskingdom.bsky.social #summer #comics

Remember that Trump and Musk personally took up ALL the oxygen in the news cycle and social media with their loud, childish, public screamfest. Because soon they will "make up" and proclaim the news and social media made a big deal out of nothing despite the fact they were the ones saying everything

From BBC: The fact that this is global news about the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES says everything about how we are now the rest of the world's greatest trashy reality series.

Listen, no break-up takes hold the first time. But Trump and Musk's third break-up? That's when shit will get REAL real and all their friends will have long stopped responding to their texts.

Manhattanhenge happens tonight in New York City (May 29th). Here's how it looked last year in the August 11, 2024 Sally Forth Sunday page. Written by @fmarciuliano.bsky.social and drawn/colored by me. 😁

Sally Forth: Ted Forth's painting from when he was four and mine from when I was four. I don't know how @jimkeefe.bsky.social so successfully replicated a clear masterpiece of form, color, and absence of a horizon line. @comicskingdom.bsky.social #comics

Watching the always entertaining Natasha Lyonne absolutely raid the Criterion Closet. It's like seeing someone grab bills in a game show money booth.

Leelo enjoying the new season of “Love, Death & Robots” #cat #cats @netflix.com

As you can no doubt tell from the title, this is a documentary about a Canadian sportscaster who turned to a life of highly inept bank robberies. Also, it’s narrated by a live-action bison.

Overheard on Street Two little girls running ahead of their parents, wildly waving their arms and happily yelling, “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!” I’m glad Gen Alpha has come to terms with this.

Happy #CincoDeMayo and #NationalCartoonistsDay!

May the Ted Forth @jimkeefe.bsky.social @comicskingdom.bsky.social #maythe4th #maythe4thbewithyou #starwars

Kiki celebrates May the Fourth #MaytheFourth #Maythe4th #StarWars #Cats

Whenever I hear a saxophone in NYC I feel like I’m in a third-act “heartbreak montage” in a rom-com from 1982.

Roberta Muldoon > John Lithgow

Overheard in Park Five-Year-Old: You haven’t heard the last from me! I feel like I just caught the start of a supervillain’s arc.

Happy #IndependentBookstoreDay! #caturday #cats

Happy #IndependentBookstoreDay!

Happy #IndependentBookstoreDay from "Sally Forth" as Hil, Nona, and Faye visit their local comic book store today. @jimkeefe.bsky.social @comicskingdom.bsky.social

Overheard on Street Person #1: I'm just saying, if I had to cover it up I wouldn't cover it up. Person #2: So I shouldn't cover it up? Person #1: Cover up what? Frankly, I almost stuck around for what will be the next 45 minutes of a very confused conversation.

God: “I’m sorry you met JD Vance. You deserved so much better.”

I corrected RFK Jr.’s quote: “Trump’s people will never pay taxes. They'll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted."

My Portuguese Mom: You know Katy Perry is Portuguese. Still don't like her.

Kiki and Leelo monitoring apartment demon #cat #cats

We're in Pompeii and every day is Volcano Day

If you ever wanted a graphically-stylized interpretation of cars driving off a cliff, here you go

And with a heavy sigh Leelo faces yet another week of insanity #cat #cats #weekdays

This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism.

"Oh. It's You: Love Poems by Cats" is 20% off at Amazon for a limited time. The cat authors will blink once in your direction in sincere gratitude. #cat #cats #books a.co/d/g2Qe9eU

That extra spring in your step? It's X (Twitter) crashing three times today.

Musk lashing out against unelected officials is like me lashing out at people with unpronounceable last names

Trump is elected Kennedy Center chair as the first person to accidentally blow themselves up at a gender-reveal party prepares to be honored for their contribution to the arts.

By the way, you can see the Super Bowl for free on the Tubi app. I just walked my mom through it over the phone because she wants to see the commercials and Kendrick Lamar halftime show. Game not so much.

Here's hoping H.E.R.B.I.E turns out to be the real villain "Fantastic Four" ("So my food doesn't have enough zip to it, huh? I'LL give them real zip!") youtu.be/AzMo-FgRp64?...

People are outraged how awful America sounds now when it's been saying the same horrible, dismissive, disgusting things to certain groups for so long in a conversational tone that the rest of us took it for idle chatter.

America has ceased operations. If you get any messages purportedly from America, please know it is a scam.

"He thought he was the King of America Where they pour Coca Cola just like vintage wine Now I try hard not to become hysterical But I'm not sure if I am laughing or crying I wish that I could push a button And talk in the past and not the present tense"

“Trump has also unearthed the corpse of Fatty Arbuckle to look over Hollywood morality.”