live footage from the war ravaged city of portland

had to re up my oregon food handler card. less than 5 minutes and 8 bucks. and now i can touch all the foods in the state of oregon. if you licked it first you’ve got dibs otherwise i’m claiming it all. because. get your own card.

i still don’t know how it ends. i want to scream and throw the book as soon as i finish it. also have had two of jésus arribal’s anarchist miracles today. looking for a third.

interviewing for some of these jobs and i cannot explain my background. because i used to be a culinary janissary. they over committed and made people like me go ham to deliver. i went over the top. and now. i don’t want to but they know i can.

i accidentally clicked on a headline about a college football team i like and the entire article was ai slop. it was incredible in a grotesque way. www.si.com/college/iowa...

did a stage recently. felt used. my takeaway. “at least they paid me. i can respect ethical but not moral.” the interlocutor was confused. why?

taylor swift has the money to do something that would break so many brains. taylor, buy an nfl team. preferably the kansas city chiefs.

parking for another stage. my handlebars are going to smell like rosemary when i retrieve it.

okay, on a more positive note do you have a thing that you are weirdly good at? i’m pretty much always aware of the cardinal directions and the layout of streets for miles around. if i’ve been in a building before i know it. i’m just into knowing the relationship with home and how to get there.

when my idiot dad shows up next month i’m making plans for how to extract myself, go ghost and i know of a good place to let go of my physical body. i sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that but if my parents want to fuck around i’m fucking sick of their fucking shit.

today has been lonely and alienating. when contrasted across the swirling background of ambiguous assurances and ironclad consequences i do not feel well. my support network is currently occupied with keeping themselves afloat. i feel like i’m fucking drowning in honey. there’s so much excess.

i really dig how labradoodles and goldendoodles are popular. they’re pretty dogs and all of the ones i’ve interacted with have been chill and friendly.

it’s funny to me that many people delivering packages do not understand the concept of a locked door it’s baffling to me that a neighbor will order food and let it sit outside for upwards of an hour before going to grab it.

i think it went well. now i wait and see.

i’m about to go to a 5 hour working interview on a saturday night while they’re participating in fried chicken week. please send good vibes and well wishes. i’d like to get the gig.

you know what i don’t miss? grizzly cakes. fuck grizzly cakes. they’re even worse than lasagna

everything in my life is moving and there is no center. this is the quicksand from my childhood cartoons in media res and now here i am.

alt text: -blumpkin spice rolls -cringerbread -blumpkin delights

still have the classified ad that started it all. youtu.be/qvOTXALOFtY?...

one of my greatest weaknesses is that i forget that nearly all of the rest of people see way more clearly than i do. optometrists say this is as good as it gets so here’s to impressionism. i still automatically read everything that enters my field of view.

i’m fairly high at the moment and im trying to think about what it would be like to mount a bicycle from the right and i am uncertain about which direction i would fall in and how much self injury would be involved. if i try this: there will be blood.

live footage of jimmy fallon right now

it’s not my favorite but i can understand the impulse to eat a tuna salad sandwich. the tuna melt? i cannot fathom it. i don’t want to be in the same room as it.

ya boy’s still got fire!

three interviews today and then after the third one i need to call another place and set up an interview/stage tomorrow if i don’t take one of the three today. it’s go time 👨🏼‍🍳 🔪 🍳 🔥

neither is worst, but for sodas that have a strong regional fandom i’ve never really understood why people are so into cheerwine or green river

even 2,000 miles away my dad is mad at me for no good reason and being an ass to people around him and i’m shaking and on the edge of an anxiety attack

in a state with no sales tax* it’s weird that prices are like $[n].49 or $[n].99. like just let it be $[n].50 or $[n+1] *sales tax on cannabis to the man

if we defeat fascism the dictionary can go back to making fun educational posts like this one full time

like the polar bear plunge only it’s the toxic slime plunge and the challenge is to look at the free speech app (formerly bird internet). i’d like to get some sleep so – not today satan!

omg new chapo (black wolf feed) just dropped…

today i learned that the classic movie “the ‘burbs” is free with ads on you tube. it’s been a while since i’ve seen this one.

i had a very weird idea for a movie. like “coffee and cigarettes” but around a place instead. but maybe crossed with the seven up series. like what is the point of view of a public fountain and what is it’s perspective on the days goings on and so forth. and it just spurts and gurgles.

doing some light reading (it’s only 865 pages)

my dad just called. he was out fishing on lake pepin between minnesota and wisconsin and the fish weren’t biting. so he said hello.

so there is a jack in the box. is he alive or dead? only this mysterious creature knows. but the answer may be beyond your ken and leave you permanently insane his ask to begin negotiations is $100k and there’s an ominous countdown timer

fall is coming. while i’m psyched for sweater weather i’m not stoked about sock season.

i’m not antisocial. i swear. but some people just have to walk up to you and want to know your name, what neighborhood you live in, and where you work as soon as you walk into the room. and of course a handshake. i know i want nothing to do with that person. and it’s a lot of people.

sing in me, muse, and through me tell the story of that man skilled in all ways of contending, the wanderer, harried for years on end, after he plundered the stronghold on the proud height of troy. he saw the town lands and learned the minds of many bitter nights and days in his deep heart…

and the rare virtue of thick walls, and the rare virtue of interior spaciousness

trump sippin a diet coke in the paved over rose garden: america is so great we have one of everything rfk jr: hold my unpasteurized milk and raw liver smoothie, we didnt have a lysenko, but we do now!

libs: trump was a kgb asset! he worked for putin! gop: trump was actually a secret agent undercover for the fbi this whole time warner brothers:

if you live in the wes anderson cinematic universe, this happened 60 years ago today

Tons of cars left at home because people had freedom of choice in how they move due to infrastructure.

Imagine the alchemy one could do with the Large Hadron Collider

why are the names “zoe” and “joe” pronounced so differently?

forgot about the geese. they know i’m on to their plans. they are coming. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!