Guys, I think I figured out who paid the insurrectionists to be there on January 6th and you’ll be shocked to know it wasn’t George Soros.

We have to manage our outrage. I don’t give a shit about James Comey or whatever happens to him. I hope the Trump DOJ is embarrassed once again but either way I couldn’t care less.

The toddler who found the gun in the unlocked nightstand drawer didn’t end up shooting anyone. So… do we need to lock up the drawer or what?

Most men get involved in backing women’s sports because they have a daughter, wife, or girlfriend who they started off supporting. I’m not sure if that’s true for @flavorflav.bsky.social. I think he just does it because he loves it. Maybe I’m wrong. Either way, he’s leading by example.

Suicide mission SCOTUS application to remove birthright citizenship on orders from an embattled senile president with predictable results sends AG packing.

October 7 was the most successful terrorist act since the Boston Tea Party. Ask your teenager what the consensus is regarding Israel in their age group, and realize they’ll be running America in 20 years. AIPAC won’t be able spend enough to overcome this.

Awesome that Bluesky has busied itself this morning with attacking… Cory Booker.

Anyone else looking up flights to PR right now?

We'll miss you, but we're confident Trump and Bondi will find someone equally inept to replace you.

The real crime here is Trump making a mockery of the storied FIFA Peace Prize.

Gentle reminder the laziest way for big accounts on Bluesky to drive engagement is nonstop posting that everything is awful and there is no hope. That doesn’t make it true. They’re wrong about a lot of stuff but that matters as much to them as it does to Trump. They’ll just keep on going.

Every phone call in The Beast In Me is: “I can’t tell you right now. But I’ll tell you later today when for sure I’ll still be alive.”

Every time someone posts that they don’t use Spotify, I install it on another device, even if it means paying for another account. There’s only one way to stop me from doing this.

VERY highly placed sources are saying they're having trouble locating a turkey convicted of sex trafficking for Trump to pardon next week.

Really enjoying @realgdt.bsky.social’s Frankenstein.

Welcome to the beginning of the end of the Trump Era.

Why are democrats determined to stick with the “Shreveport, LA (Johnson’s district) has a higher crime rate than Chicago” message? It’s such a loser argument. No one is calculating percentages when Shreveport had 52 homicides in 2024 while Chicago had 573.

Fox News hosts throwing their Kimmel talking points in the garbage and printing out the latest on Portland.

And what caused autism before the invention of Tylenol? Why, witches of course.

All anti-Newsom posters are looking for clicks and nothing more. They don’t give a shit about the disadvantaged and shouldn’t be listened to.

Among all the other awfulness Trump has inflicted on the country and world, turning law enforcement into the biggest crybabies on the planet is right up there. Driving their big tanks, wearing their masks and Kevlar when walking through sunlit parks while people jog by, and now this garbage.

If the Democrats’ best answer to Trump federalizing local police is to point at statistics indicating crime is actually down, let’s just fold up shop now.

Was it 8? 20? Romanians? Black? What's important is this for sure happened and however you paint it Big Balls is a hero. Let's just make sure we all acknowledge that and stop worrying about small details like nothing else about the story making any sense at all.

Dodgers officially the first team with a Freeman/Friedman/Freeland combo. Why am I just hoping @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com sees this?

People come in all shapes and sizes and I for one am sick of it.

The Old Guard 2: The Older Guard. They’re back and they’re having trouble remembering what they came back for.

Can someone please help me forget how to ride a bike?

If “just doing your job” means ripping mothers away from their babies, then GET A DIFFERENT JOB. Chipotle pays $20+/hr here in California. People fucking love their food. They’ll be making videos about how great your burritos are, not about how you’re a fascist. Doesn’t that sound better?

They got the fruit vendor outside Trader Joe’s in my neighborhood today. And the workers at the car wash next to it. So, you know, that area is safe now. And those jobs are open to any white Americans who want them (zero). I wonder how many thousands of dollars that operation alone cost.

Today’s market collapse brought to you by everyone having a great time with TACO memes.

All set for a Naked Gun remake. “HEY! It’s the Pope! LEE-OH! LEE-OH! LEE-OH!”

Just finished The Four Seasons. When we talk about comedy greats we have to put Fey with all three Brooks (Mel, Albert, and James L) in terms of having a distinctive voice across a broad range and a record of nonstop bangers. Can’t think of anything she’s done I haven’t loved.

"I thought these higher prices on Amazon were due to Trump's tariffs, but now that I know Amazon has partnered with a Chinese propaganda arm, the prices seem the as they've always been to me."

If Parker Posey ever does Cameo, I'll ask her for "Vladimir, STOP!" in Victoria Ratliff's voice.

No one’s tried an all-caps STOP! truth on Putin yet. Let’s see if that’s more effective than providing Ukraine the resources needed to defend herself.

“Sure, he put a drunk TV host in charge of the DOD with predictable results and he’s letting Laura Loomer shape our intelligence gathering agencies, but we’re shocked, SHOCKED at the idea Trump and Peter Navarro may not have a handle on the economy.” - Wall St.

Spot-checked two or three of these and so far none have been true. Switzerland does not have a 61% tariff on goods imported from the US. Cambodia does not have a 97% tariff on goods imported from the US. Taiwan does not have a 64% tariff on goods imported from the US.

Watching stock futures crater in real time as ol' mush mouth rambles on about the ramps installed in the White House. We couldn't possibly have a worse chief executive.

Live your life so you never have to decry the “fake Nazi stuff” being said about you.

“Did you see how hard he fell?” Perfect delivery by Greta Lee. #TheStudio

Thank god for Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, now more than ever.

Oh snap, the Ides of March already? Nobody bewared me.

The market is no longer responding to Trump's capricious tariff reprieves. The message is clear: the president is an undisciplined and unreliable leader and chaos will be the order of the day for the next four years.

Louis XVI: “Monsieur Franklin, ‘oo ‘av not said ‘merci’ even one time!” Marie Antoinette: “Look at vous jacket! And no wig? Are we in a barn?”

Boy oh boy are we gonna miss Joe Biden’s economy.

So it looks like the Blackhawk’s DEI altimeter may not have reported data correctly, in addition to the helicopter’s pilots wearing woke night vision goggles. www.npr.org/2025/02/14/n...

Schumer is waving the white flag. He’s done fighting. Who can we recruit to primary him and any other Democrat who is (allegedly) seeing what is happening and posting about baseball players?

Alternate timeline where Shelley "The Machine" Levene slips Blake's Rolex off his wrist and never bothers stealing the Glengarry leads.

An absolute banner day for Vladimir Putin.