Hi, it's me again 💜

I slept in until 11am this morning and it was fucking. glorious.

We were made for love 💜

I should be doing [task], but instead I'm doing [other, unrelated task]: title of my autobiography

Every morning that I walk outside and see it's still too cold for sundresses upsets me on an emotional level. It's almost April, Global Warming - get your shit together.

Everything feels gray today.

My neck and back would probably hurt a lot less if my posture wasn't roughly the same as a popcorn shrimp

Breaking News: everything is still terrible

"And when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong (I sleep so I can see you, cause I hate to wait so long)"🎶

I feel like I've been stuck in an endless 2020, only somehow worse...?

"so kiss me and laugh like you mean it (I'm in the arms of the rest of my life)"🎶

The fact that it is only Tuesday offends me on a personal level

If manifestation was legit, you'd think there were enough of us manifesting it into reality right now...

I'm too tired to be a person today. Basically, I just want to be a sloth

Cirque du Soleil has got nothing on me and the level of acrobatics I perform to avoid disrupting my sleeping dog

Me, last night: I'm going to get up early tomorrow Me, this morning: lol no

"I don’t want to talk right now, I just want your arms wrapped around (me in this moment before it runs out)"🎶

Me, when economists say we're headed toward a recession:

Every time I have to go onsite for a week meeting, I end up sick a few days later. I don't know which of my coworkers is Typhoid Mary, but she's definitely among us

Sorry Billy Joel, but I think maybe this time we DID start the fire

I miss the days when everything didn't suck so fucking much.

I'm also going to start saying all the spending I don't like is fraud. My mortgage is fraud. My student loans are fraud. Gas and electric are fraud. Eggs are fraud.

My mental health improves significantly when I don't keep up with the news, but this also feels like I've got my head in the sand while the rest of the desert is on fire around me

Me: [chronic passive suicidal ideation] Death: why are you so obsessed with me?

Based on the amount of money I just spent stocking my house up on groceries, I'm gonna have to start an OnlyFans to survive the next four years

At this point, what we need is some good old fashioned vigilantism. Or a giant fucking asteroid, whichever comes first.

I don't think anyone is coming to save us.

"Wish I could kiss you when I wanna (I need you closer, can we go somewhere?)"🎶

I really picked a terrible time to try and develop healthier coping mechanisms

How do you make yourself go through the motions when everything else in the world feels so hopeless and bleak? Asking for me.

Bills by a billion!

This is a Bills account for the next 4 hours. 💙❤️

"I've loved you for so long, I'd do it again"🎶

"I wanna be close to you (all we need now is the dark)"🎶

I just realized the time on my work computer is stuck on 8:46am, which explains why this morning has felt like the song that never ends

Hello, Friday. I've missed you 🥹

If you thought I was going to have less work after the holidays, you should know that I thought the same thing and we are apparently both wrong

I'm going to need Monday to stop rudely interrupting my weekends like this.

Who has two thumbs and massively overslept on their first day back to work after the holiday? That's right - it's this gal right here. ... so I guess you could say that literally nothing has changed except the year

2 more days and then home free. Looking forward to coming out from under this pile of work to resume what I do best: selfies and borderline concerning posts about my mental health

Absolutely gutted to realize that today is not Friday.

Gonna start responding to "I hope this email finds you well" with "frankly, I'm upset this email found me at all."

I am counting down the days until Christmas, at which point I will be off work for a week. I just need to make it until then. Ugh.

I am really fucking struggling today, ngl.

I woke up having a pain flare and I have so much work to do that I want to cry, in case anyone is wondering about how Monday is looking

Why is it that my brain always decides to stop functioning whenever I have the most to do? Ugh.

It's the busy season at work, which means I am working late. Again. All this work is really cutting into my "doom scrolling on social media" time.

Me: I finally have fewer than 30 emails! Work Bestie: how many do you have now? Me: 29 Work Bestie: ... Me: LISTEN

I'm sorry that I haven't been around much, but I promise that I am still alive(ish)

I'm still sick and if the Bills don't win today, I will have even less will to live than usual