We're now 4/4 for COVID and flu 💉 in our house! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

Just once, I'd like to walk into my kitchen to find every cabinet and drawer closed

This is (I believe) a huge obstacle to people understanding what's at stake. They don't know they're talking about Medicaid benefits bc every state calls their program something different. Here, it's MaineCare, and lots of folks reasonably think it's under Medicare bc of the name similarity.

Not fighting my son on pants vs shorts yet bc it is unseasonably warm but more importantly I'm not ready to face to reality that all his pants will likely be too short after 6 months of exclusive shorts wearing 🫠

Change your settings to require it before posting an image, you'll be used to it and not feel inconvenienced before you know it 👍🏼

PUNCH AND MACE NAZIS

7 y/o had his first social studies lesson today in 2nd grade and announced at dinner that the next protest he attends he'll make a sign that says "kings are idiots" This feels like one of those Things That Never Happened but it really did 🥹

In good news, finally found a COVID 💉 appointment for our 3 y/o! Walmart is scheduling them in Maine, in case that's relevant/helpful for anyone reading this!

Really struggling to just sit here and send my silly little emails and write silly little trusts to help people get Medicaid that may or may not exist when they need it Related, when clients call and ask about the status of their drafts, I struggle to not explode at the absurdity of everything

7 y/o wants his Halloween costume to include a pumpkin on his head. I said we need to try it beforehand so he knows what that would actually feel like (and presumably change his mind) Behold: yesterday's pumpkinhead trial run, which somehow did not deter him from his dream 🤣🤣🤣

I asked one small thing of my husband for my bday last year (literally to do the planning for the evening that I did every other week on that same day) and I cried multiple times on my bday bc he fucked it up royally so this year I took no chances & planned what I want and won't disappoint myself 👸🏼

Parenting a 3 y/o is wild. I reminder her that tomorrow's my bday and she immediately and genuinely said "I love you!" with the biggest smile. Not 5 minutes later she said she wants to make me sad 😵‍💫

If you have the opportunity to see @therevivalists.bsky.social on their current tour (started 2 days ago), don't hesitate to go. They're 🔥🔥 right now (as they have been for over a decade!)

Client emailed surprised about a bill bc they misunderstood what to expect and I was ready to quickly write it off until the last point that if they knew it would take that much extra time (.5 hr) they'd have declined my offer to follow up bc "we could have researched those questions ourselves" 🙄🙄

Space Jam She's the One

Toddler has been home with me all day on my wfh day bc daycare is closed. We went to donuts at her brother's school and then got our hair cut and she napped, I worked, we played. Husband came home and I tagged out to finish up work but am just sitting at my desk disassociating in near darkness 🫠

Important PSA for parents of white boys. If you don’t want you sons radicalized do these 5 things.

Skyline cleanse - my babies in 2011 when 8-week-old Penny first came home and 8-month-old Luna seamlessly transitioned from only child to oldest daughter 🤣🥰

Everything is shit but my friend from college is in a band that's opening their tour 30 minutes from me on Sunday and that's how I'm starting my birthday week with my BFF and our husbands and hopefully we can go backstage to catch up and feel cool 😎

1/2 of my household has COVID and flu shots flowing in our arms! 💪🏼💪🏼🥳 Maine - CVS is COVID vaxxing kids 5+ and adults! With online scheduling! And no Rx necessary! (Don't know about other pharmacies, that was our first and last attempted location)

My mom tried to get my son to stand for the national anthem today, he's sitting next to me and just said "nah" and I shrugged while also sitting and she seemed appalled. She wants to honor what her dad fought for in WWII but I'm...not there. So we sit 🤷🏼‍♀️

Reskeeting to maybe be seen and not immediately lost in a flood of news again I was on hold with the pharmacy, oblivious to the world, for 15 min when shit really hit the fan yesterday and skeeted this not realizing it would be a blip on the radar of skeets hitting the skyline at the same moment

ok time to reset the timeline 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 BIG BOAT STUCK 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

It's only gun violence if it happens in the red rallies of the country. Otherwise, it's just sparkling gun rights.

Maine! New covid shots are available with only a little hassle! Walgreens will book online and you just need a prescription before the appointment! CVS also doing shots with prescription, no online booking. Rx must say "medically necessary" 🤷🏼‍♀️ All 18+ and no kid shots for now, but it's something!

Gathering kid stuff to consign this morning, I pulled out 2 costumes we'd gotten as hand-me-downs and never used - a swat uniform and some camo & helmet army shit. I put them in the to-consign stuff and actually had to take them out bc I felt sick imagining some kid thinking those are cool guys rn

Made popcorn for movie night and convinced/forced everyone else to have their own individual cups/bowls and I simply didn't get one so I have the big bowl with what's left of the popcorn which is the most 💅🏼

Toddler is napping and I suggested 7 y/o accompany dad on a big grocery trip (he needs input on school snacks! Who better to input on the spot than the snacker!) And then I just ate so much cheese 🤣

‼️‼️Breaking news (and I don't use that term lightly) - I've discovered a store with online shopping that has the default view of items sorted by price low to high‼️‼️

Got this today at goodwill bc I need some positivity in any form even if it's from a stranger's discarded Christmas 2022 gift

Children at Mass on the THIRD day of school. BAN THE FUCKING GUNS

I've been hesitant to jump on the Graham train too quickly but everything I learn about him makes me like him more and more. This one hit a big leap towards yes 🤩

It'd be super inconvenient to reschedule anything before Friday so I'm powering thru it but unless I'm actively talking to someone you can bet I'm just flashing back to seeing my daughter plunge face first to the ground next to me barely missing a huge rock then carrying her a mile to my car etc etc

Is this a new spam trick? Fake email bounces with shady prize links hidden below the fold? The fuschia markup has my email behind it (minus the period that Gmail ignores anyway and others have used that version to much annoyance, never harm), but the delivery failure email matches real bouncebacks 🧐

I fear I've gotten too comfortable telling people when I'm not doing ok, so instead of coming off as concerning I confidently proclaim "nope, not great actually" and it sounds like I'm healthily accepting and processing it and really it's just I'm tired of lying with "I'm fine" 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thought we were safely home and past the 24-hour mark of utmost fragility and then this girl decided to walk with her eyes closed into a doorknob directly to the freshly glued wound, so we got to compare our home walk-in clinic to the city one we went to yesterday! (Ours is worlds better) 😵‍💫

Went out for a lovely hike to a secluded pond and ended up at urgent care getting our 3 y/o's forehead glued together due to an uncharacteristic tumble by our tallest friend carrying said 3 y/o on his shoulders 🫨

We have a gap between school start dates in our household so today instead of making him play alone while I WFH I get to bring our 7 y/o to a free baseball clinic with the Portland Seadogs, our minor league Red Sox affiliate, which also has free pizza at the end! 🥰

Holy shit I just accidentally switched my phone to light mode and my feed was at that dumb pic of trump trying to look menacing and all of that light and darkness was A Lot

Fam, where are we getting low prices on kid school supply lists without bowing to the evils of Amazon, Walmart, target, etc?

Client: "your plan sounds better, we were just going to do this 😉on the sly😉" Me: "I can't recommend doing this on the sly" Client, looking around conference room: "why, are we being recorded?" Your lawyer isn't your co-conspirator. Don't divulge your illegal plans hoping for our stamp of approval

A fun thing about exercise-induced seasonal allergies that basically make me sneeze incessantly for 24+ hours after an outdoor workout is since birthing 2 babies I often pee a little when I sneeze so if I go for a little run when the weather is changing I spend the next day+ peeing myself 🙃

Today's our 10th wedding anniversary so I'm going to try to not get lost in despair re: the general state of the world and though I have to work it's WFH day so hopefully we'll at least get some afternoon delight while the kids are at camp 🤞🏼

Client today told me in 1969 and 1970 she burned her bras so me and other women could be successful career women and have equal rights and then she hugged me while thanking me for helping her write her daughter out of her will So that was a trip

Fucking up my nail bed trying to pry this open to use these to clip said nail bed, is that real irony or Alanis Morissette's irony?

Depends on the budget Richie Rich Mainer: lobster roll, extra mayo Commonfolk Mainer: red snapper hot dog, extra ketchup and relish and mustard

Since I mentioned it, I'll go ahead and give the people what they want ☔

Like Tom's umbrella lip sync battle, you must reakwet these reminders when you see them, until every picture on here has alt text

My grade school bus driver got fired after I graduated high school bc it was discovered he'd been running a prostitution ring on the phone while driving the bus routes. Like, phone calls, not texting, and legally consenting adults only. But he was a legit pimp! Driving our bus!

How do you know when it's time to replace your favorite book? Does it just, like, tell you?