Finally going on dates with an age-appropriate man—he's 45. 😊

Doomsday clock about to hit midnight today and we all are supposed to go about our day like this is completely normal. 🙃

And on Thursdays we wear thongs 🙂‍↕️🐆

And on Thursdays we wear thongs 🙂‍↕️🐆

I think about you. Do you think about me??

secured my ticket to see slayyyter in September 😎

I'm this close 🤏 to ordering a Switch 2 so I can play Pokopia this weekend

🎶 Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's ADHD 🎶

"Lonely with a capital H, if you know what I mean." Kacey Musgraves the woman you are.

this is how I access bluesky 🦋

let's play hooky and stay in bed all day #mcm

What could POSSIBLY go wrong for the U.S. in an all-out regional war given a dementia-riddled elderly man & a Fox news pundit are calling the shots. 🙄🤬

It's so infuriating seeing all these articles pontificating as to why younger generations aren't having kids... Perhaps it's because no one can fucking afford rent or groceries. Like, you think they're going to choose to incur medical debt for another mouth to feed?

Watching Industry has been great so far. I'm only 3 eps deep but so far each ep has shown full cock. 🙂‍↕️

I don't know why it bothers me so much but gas-powered leaf blowers are tools designed by satan. also like, it's the middle of winter what leaves could you possibly be blowing??

body was tea so now you get to see it too

Someone please open the schools and teach the cis gays the true meaning of serving cunt.

Getting a larger-than-expected bonus next month which means I need to start seriously planning my travel to Europe this year.

She really didn't have to go this hard

Watched the new Keke Palmer show and I low key love that they filmed it on the Desperate Housewives set.

Apparently there's some planetary re-alignment happening which I guess means I'm about to become a huge bitch for the foreseeable future.

The absolute irony of a Congressional committee—inquiring about the crimes of Epstein & the DOJ providing cover for wealthy men—being chaired by the man who feigned knowledge about the sexual abuse of wrestlers which happened under his watch at Ohio State.

seattle people do this!!!

New hair, who dis?

Tag yourself.

Alt-right?! More like alt-reich. Fucking goons & ghouls, all of them.

Well, I'll tell you what, I certainly ended my month with a bang 💥😏

Created a Hinge this week and oh my god I don't think I've ever seen so many men in desperate need of a haircut & shave. But I've learned people aren't projects (and that's growth!) so it's gonna be a no for me dawg.

It's really no surprise that the party that idolizes the "legacy" of the Confederacy would also have an infatuation for Naz*s. The thing they all share in common is the fact that they're all fucking losers—literally and metaphorically.

SOS!! It's that time of the year where I contemplate cutting nearly all my hair off

🤞🏻 manifesting The Streisand Effect 🤞🏻

In another shocking yet entirely predictable turn of events, TikTok's US algorithm is now officially controlled by another billionaire Tr*mp ghoul (also the same man who installed Bari Weiss as the head of CBS news).

Would you mind topping me off please? #fcf

I've only had a three day work week yet somehow it's felt like the longest week ever 😵‍💫

Having intrusive thoughts like, "What if I got my nipple pierced with a cute little hoop ring?"

insurance is such a fucking scam omg. my insurance now has tiered pricing like it's a goddamn streaming service. of course they let me know today that two of my providers aren't in the 'max savings' tier after I've already had multiple visits. get me out of this country

bless oomfie coming through with the nudes 🙂‍↕️

The only downside to traveling to tiny Colorado ski towns is the severe lack of available dick. Desperately need to do something about this once I'm back in Seattle tomorrow. 😫

Have I known about this trip for over a month? yes. Did I decide to start a project and neglect packing one day before said trip? yes. anyway, 12 hrs later, I have a shirt for Saturday's space cowboy themed party.

Or said another way "I'm wet through all my clothes, I'm fully charged nipples are hard ready to go"

post-sauna h*rny hitting 😵‍💫

2016 to 2026 from serving boy to serving looks.

if you ask me 'what I'm doing' and I respond, "rotting in bed." this is precisely what I'm doing.

One of the most frustrating parts about being an American (and there are many) is the fact that we're told consistently by those in power that we can't afford basic necessities (healthcare for all or affordable housing or loan cancellation) that would improve our lives. And then they do this shit.

✨s i t t i n g p r e t t y✨

Sister dick may make you sick but making out will never hurt me 🙂‍↕️

I said what I said.

Hope y'all have a great day spreading holiday cheeks... er, cheer! 🎁

I want to believe. 🍪