jared leto atreides
@winst.bsky.social
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📥 115
📝 392
once my dad ate a chicken nugget off my plate and i cried for 3 hours winstwinstwinst in most places
captcha: prove that you are a human me: [writes a sonnet so beautiful it causes you to question the nature of the human condition]
about 8 hours ago
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(6 seconds after becoming an american citizen) does the 2nd amendment cover flame throwers
5 days ago
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hilary clinton voice: why dont you pokemon GO to your nearest military installation and be sure to take lots of pictures. of pokemon
7 days ago
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its 19:30 on a tuesday night people and you know what that means. time to hit the weaving subreddit and call everyone a cuck
10 days ago
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jigsaw: i want to play a game me: jigsaw: there is a button in front of you - every time you pr me: (already hammering the button) what does it do
10 days ago
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its okay everyone, we have released one (1) robotic cop who moves extremely slowly to cover the whole of detroit. crime is vanquished
12 days ago
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joe rogan, flustered, sweating: i just cant believe that trump lied. he said he wouldnt get us into another war. jamie, bring up that picture of a dog with a cowboy hat on that i like
16 days ago
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babe wake up a new culture war just dropped
16 days ago
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6 seconds into first teams meeting of the day: (corporate gulp) everyone shut the fuck up
16 days ago
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wearing size 3 brogues to show trump who is the real president
16 days ago
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downloaded smashmouth_all_albums.exe from limewire and now this wont stop playing at full volume
17 days ago
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save yourself some time by recording your THE FALL OF MR BEAST podcasts now fellas
18 days ago
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anyone who posted 'men used to go war' guess where you get to go now buddy
18 days ago
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welcome to america! for more information, dial 911
19 days ago
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just imagined the sun being triangular and got a nosebleed
20 days ago
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i have invented a new superfood im calling the 'execution banana' would you like to try one
22 days ago
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i dont want to do any of this anymore if anyone from a future civilization with access to time travel is reading this please go back and kick the first monkey you see holding a tool to death
22 days ago
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in the wake of kristi noem leaving her position, we've taken a look at the long list of potential replacements and would love you all to welcome HADES, RULER OF THE UNDERWORLD
22 days ago
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its quittin time baby! and you know what that means (move from medium rectangle to big rectangle before lying in bed with small rectangle)
22 days ago
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me (1984, watching a terminator kill every police officer in the building): yes! go clanker go!
22 days ago
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you (an idiot): but they used cutting edge ai to determine the strikes i dont understand how it hit children hegseth: (typing HELLO AI PLEASE KILL SCHOOL KIDS into yahoo answers)
22 days ago
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just give trump another letter from 'the queen'
23 days ago
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@jeevaction do you want to become one of my scentsy sellers
24 days ago
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goo tube
24 days ago
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the onion tweeting in 2013: donald trump declares war on iran donald trump tweeting in 2026: i have declared war on iran
27 days ago
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in secondary school our headmaster was named mr moggeridge and holy shit he dodged a bullet dying before 2026
29 days ago
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ordered this guy from amazon
29 days ago
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jigsaw: i want to play a game me: how about monopoly jigsaw: okay
about 1 month ago
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the streisand syndrome is a proposed condition to explain why hostages occasionally develop a psychological bond with barbra streisand
about 1 month ago
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throw that fucken monkey in the sea
about 1 month ago
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some of you have never vomitted on a dance floor to the sound of bandages by hot hot heat and it shows
about 1 month ago
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if you put lemon juice on your pancakes you are a coward
about 1 month ago
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the pluribus entity would immediately disconnect me because it couldnt handle my geneous
about 2 months ago
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of course i read the set texts over the summer holidays. i couldnt get enough of [looks at smudged writing on hand]
about 2 months ago
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there should be precisely one (1) billionaire and it's max richter for writing on the nature of daylight
about 2 months ago
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if we just did gamergate in reverse we could fix all of this
about 2 months ago
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actually its whom watches the watchmen
about 2 months ago
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what will america do tomorrow? find out on LITERALLY EVERY WEBSITE. YOU CANT ESCAPE IT. LOOK. LOOK UPON THE HORRORS
2 months ago
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every morning i wake up and immediately yell UNSUBSCRIBE at the ceiling. it never works but theres still tomorrow
2 months ago
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why dont we just do the 2008 financial crisis but in reverse. anyone
2 months ago
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IM SO BORED OF HEARING ABOUT AMERICA EVERY SIX SECONDS CAN YOU JUST FUCKEN BE NORMAL
2 months ago
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fellas - stop taking your photos like this! (completely normal selfie) and start taking them like this! (completrely normal selfie except ive zoomed in x20 on my left ear)
2 months ago
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i made myself laugh so hard thinking of the term 'jonkler horizon' (an event horizon where everyone becomes the joker) that i forgot the end of the skeet
2 months ago
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me: no thats wrong i asked for a formula that sums all rows WITHOUT an x in the product description chat gpt: Great point! I've just nuked Australia.
2 months ago
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reposted by
jared leto atreides
🧟Zombuddy🧟♂️
2 months ago
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make stranger things fortnite skins or i will SHIT in a post office
3 months ago
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my retirement plan is to find 25 other elder millenials and do a human centipede
3 months ago
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i am an alpha male. the first version of male realeased. absolutely garbage. i dont function
3 months ago
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grwm to do a regime change
3 months ago
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i started giving thoughts and prayers in 2006 and no one ever told me to stop
3 months ago
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