I am pure cringe.

I see economic migrant @isabeloakeshott.bsky.social is lonely and craving a bit of sausage in Dubai, Richard Tice must not be delivering the goods since he had his new pissbag installed? Might drop her my number, I know a butcher in Fife blah blah blah.

This heat does nothing for my massive sweaty fivehead.

You just don't call anymore like you used to?

Your occasional reminder, that I am generally unqualified to discuss any of the topics that I have such ridiculous opinions on.

You do know, I don't actually believe any of this codswallop, right? It's all about the ££££££££££££.

Happy two thousand and twenty fivehead!

I'm more of a fivehead, than a figurehead.

Large Brexit hole opens up in South Wales, residents are told to avoid the area. Curious, that this only seems to happened with vaccinated roads, isn't it?

Who remembers whistling?

Morning! Brew's up!

I've applied for a role in GREASEY the musical. 🎵"I've got bills, they're multiplying!".🎵

I helped shake the jar and now the engagements on X are drying up. What should I do next? Answers on a postcard.

Anyone got any spare change? My X engagements aren't what they used to be.

JFK Jr to the rescue!

THIS is what happens when we don't cherish farmers!

How dare you all leave me on X?! Don't you know that I have bills to pay?

Elon Musk almost has fewer friends than I do. Almost.

I don't half talk some absolute shite about farmers lately eh?

Remember me??? I'm the clammy, sweaty original babe! No idea who that nutty old boot is, sandwich short of a picnic that one!

A brilliant speech from Tulsi Gabbard. “These cowardly leaders are afraid of a free society. They are afraid of us. They prefer the calm of despotism to the boisterous sea of liberty.” Which is why I block absolutely anyone on social media, who points out that I'm a cowardly flip flop charlatan.

I well like sniffing shoes. Especially size 10s.

Anyone want to buy me a coffee? And when I say coffee, I prefer cold hard cash. £50 notes.

Hello Wembley!