Y'all, we just need the data centers to run on explosive diarrhea. Do I have to think of every damn thaaaang???!!!

No cheating. Your last saved celebrity pic is your therapist. 🖤 Therapy sessions would be like: "You are the ruler! The destroyer! The bringer of war! The beast slayer! "

Twin A decides this morning to remove the laces from my brown work shoes this morning and flush them down the toilet.

lol

True. Hide your Captain Crunch and Coco Puffs.

MY GAWD!!!

stay safe out there

Cast yourself as a villain

why this lady at the pool say I look like Jeffrey Osborne?

I hate when the boss wants to have a "team meeting" when it's clear that it is just one person fucking up.

10th grade science teacher. Dudes ripped on her so bad that she had a melt down in class and started throwing things. Dean of discipline came in like Darth vader and gave the whole class two weeks detention.

me to my coworkers:

it's a balmy 65 degrees in the server room

I got my bonus and restricted shares!

You can't because it is impossible.

Maybe put some Nuclear Death hot sauce on the dog food that he has been already eating.

When Doves Cry

Green characters from the Star Trek Universe

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.

Video vixen party

House music

Fairies and it is not even close

Truthfully, yes. My company is pretty small and they have done things like this in the past.

You've Limped your last Biscuit.

Usefulness ain't free.

only time they are at a library is to burn books anyway

serving pre boiled meats?????

if I catch the person who stole my diet pepsi, I'm putting their laptop on a continuous reboot loop.

I mean, she put out the got dang Famous Amos!

They hired someone at my job just to stock the pantry twice a day with snacks. I'm gonna need some serious willpower now.

I was arguing with my wife if Ronaldo was Portuguese or Brazilian, not knowing that their is two of em...

Stay your asses home

Job Title Stock sales are public record and I see how much those SVPs be cashing in.

Mortgage. I probably would be saving thousands of dollars a year if the jome ownership organization that I dealt with didn't drag their feet.

Sheepstealer #DemDragons #HOTD

mood:

"Alite claimed to have committed 15 murders, shot 30 to 40 people and beaten more than one hundred others with pipes and baseball bats." shouldnt that have been investigated before he got put on the city council?

Parrot: How you doing pretty lady? Owl: Who?

Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers putting in the work.

In my happy place

It’s Juneteenth. Post your favorite Black fictional character.

Happy Juneteeth!

Back in my generation, my coworkers use to place bets to see which intern could eat the most Big Macs without throwing up.

So the "merit hire" in my department forget to create the accounts for the new hires...again. First two times I covered for him, but this time...I hope he enjoys his Juneteeth. And I'm out Monday too.

1999 Sign of the Time Back to Then Back for the First Time Musical Chairs Musicology Scattered Smothered and Covered Birdseye Our Version of Events Emancipation

we would be talking about fantasy football rankings right now.

destructive by choice.

when I get a problem or question at work that I have never seen before and I got to dig deep into my troubleshooting toolkit to look for answers

I can only say that when I saw Allen Iverson play at Georgetown, I knew he was going to blow up.