More harvest! I swear I'm fertile!

A pet peeve at work is people coming to me and asking me to do tasks from their job description. This is your job, why you asking me?!

Having the understanding and trust to send and receive lewds from friends has to be one of the hottest things. Yes you look hot, I'll tell you again and again.

Will being horny fix this? We'll find out.

Why don't you come tear them off?

Can someone save me from this bad brain? Don't even want to talk about it because it will just make me feel worse.

Feeling good.

Feeling good.

I talked to my colleagues about wanting to see 'One Battle After Another' and all their boyfriends are excited to see it too 😂 Am I that predictable?

People (from a certain generation) commenting on your weight gain/loss is so weird, because it's always negative 😭 Literally got the "you lost weight" and "you gained weight" in the span of a few months. Shut up.

when they wiggle their hips towards you out of neediness 🫠 (it's so hot)

Didn't take new pics, but still love the month-old ones.

Hello Mr blue sky

September, and we've reached the ceiling!

From the archives.

Feeling like I just want to be taken care of.

Oh I'm sorry but the US is completely fucked.

Good morning! Treat yourself well today

Nicholas Hoult in newly shared photo. 📸

I don't want to brag but I've got the juiciest mango ever

Steam me up.

I need some joy of life to return to me, ASAP.

Steam me up.

Hot honey balsamic glazed Brussel sprouts while it's raining outside?

It came out okay!

It's 9:30 on a Friday night and I'm baking. That's how exciting my life is.

Hi. I'm feeling my body today. That's the post. (repost because I posted too much face)

I'm doing that thing where I should be working but my mind is wandering and my body is thinking it should be doing other things 🫠

I'm doing very well, I'm listening to a YouTube video called 'All TV Star Trek Intros - 1965 -2023' okay?

I seriously dreamt I had **** in my mouth and then I woke up 👁️👄👁️ Couldn't imagine worse timing

It's happened, I feel a bit chilly. Cosy is starting to cosy.

So if we worked together would I be too distracting? Orrrrrrr 👀

They found a seal in Utrecht's canals and animal control basically said, "Bro's fine, he lives here now, leave him alone".

Fresh harvest :)

What I've read on vacation: - This Is How You Lose the Time War - The Mountain King (Trashy Swedish thriller but it was fun) Now reading: - SPQR: History of Ancient Rome - The Midnight Library And so much more on my TBR!

This is the leaf of the monstera I almost gave up on months ago 🥰

I'm back home for 12 hours and my neighbours are shouting at eachother already 😭

Hi. I'm feeling my body today. That's the post. (repost because I posted too much face)

Idk about Switzerland but the flag is a big plus 🇨🇭

Sometimes I wake up with a morning erection and I'll be annoyed at the inconvenience but impressed at the same time. I did that, in my sleep. Impressive.

What if you kissed me in all the places my body creases?

What if you kissed me in all the places my body creases?

You're My Best Friend

Hand jobs are highly underrated. A tight grip, grabbing tighter and tighter and moving faster. A hand wrapped around you to thrust into. Encouraging words while they use their hands to please you.

See a slutty waist, post a slutty waist 🌟

Just checking in from Italy to praise you. (Don't be too jealous it's been raining non-stop yesterday and today)

your friendly neighbourhood meebs here with a PSA: slutty waist ≠ slender waist slutty waists come in all shapes and sizes 💜

See a slutty waist, post a slutty waist 🌟