OK, I have had this canopy for almost 2 years and just put it up today because of reasons. I thought my spouse would hate it, but oddly he loves it so we'll be eating al fresco until my cats and their raccoon friends tear it down

Please congratulate me on ridding my house of a massive amount of Lego, I finally found a good home for it. Having raised two sons, I was convinced that when I fall out of my rocking chair and go to the seniors' home, I would still be tripping on Lego and sitting on Nerf apparatus until I croaked.

Somebody: Downtown Ottawa is shitty! Government employees need to work in person to make downtown less shitty! Government employees: ok, I'll work downtown, bring my bag lunch and then ride my bike home without doing any shopping Somebody; what? Thatʼs not a thing.

The next time a hungover-looking, middle aged male driver yells at me on my bicycle, I'm going to giggle and say "You're so cute when you're mad, son." And offer him some animal crackers. Swear to God.

So I get home on my bike and there's a truck blocking my driveway! Me: you're blocking my driveway Driver: is this your driveway Me: Yes Driver: I'll leave in a minute Me: How about now Driver: your husband said it was ok Me: I say it isn't Driver: (drives off) Where do these ninnies come from?

I know I should ignore these dudes and not laugh at them. But it's just so damn funny to humiliate them and laugh my ass off, when they have to stop at a red light after having their cute li'l hissy fit.

Some dude just yelled at me for passing a truck that was blocking the bike lane, then insisted the truck had every right to be there. Then called me an a-hole for telling him he was wrong! I hope he enjoyed the little audience hearing me tell him his manners were as good as his driving! 🤡

My bookstore would also include: Biographies of people who cursed a lot Non-earnest books about ecological gardening -- no pontificating about connecting with the universe, but mischievous forest spirits welcome Quality books about politics -- I choose them, so there won't be any damn Hayek: boring

Who's going to tell Russia how many Russian words are "borrowed" from other languages

Somebody should open a bookstore north of Somerset, west of Metcalfe, east of Bayswater. What a book desert. If I had a bookstore it would be very niche. Spy novels. World literature properly labelled. No romance, no keto, no "7 Efficiency-Maximizing Habits for the Shallow, Greedy Bastard."

Disagree vehemently with this review that disses Paul Dano. Dano's demeanour may seem monotone to an English viewer, but it is spot-on for a powerful Russian man, for whom displaying emotion in public is a weakness. Putin himself used to talk like this: soft voice, deadpan manner - it's a power move

New elm tree in front yard, courtesy of the City of Ottawa! They rolled up in trucks and did all the work, while I sat at the window and watched, slackjawed! I'd better up my game with my raggedy garden

Happy Victoria Day to both who celebrate.

Slightly Diminish a book: Some of the Light We Cannot See

Nerd Sunday evening watching Jeopardy Q: which character in an 1890 play was called "the female Hamlet" Son (trivia whiz) Wtf? Me: No, it's from Chekhov! Obviously! And by Chekhov, I mean not Chekhov, but that Nordic chap. What was his name? Ibsen! Son: omg, Hedda Gabler! Mom, you are the GOAT

A first-world problem, they said. And so it was. But who knows what horrors lurk behind the frig and stove? And what shenanigans the cats will get into? And how long we will be eating Ye Olde Slow Cooker stew? KITCHEN RENOS. The mess. The noise. The cats. Coming soon to a kitchen near you

Update: the local "Narrowminded Neighbours" Facebook group cancelled me! They deleted my post, and all replies (some very sarcastic from me), where I shared that I had seen a dog tied on a short leash in front of a local coffee shop for at least an hour. "Be nice to your dog" is too controversial!

It's 2026, and dudes are still telling young women they should smile more? In the liquor store? It's tacky and creepy. Grab your shi**y Coors Lite and whatever other swill you're drinking, and leave her alone. It wasn't me, I'm not young and I'm usually smiling anyway, my face just goes like that.

Yup. Home sweet home. Mmmm chicken parmagiana

Will I make it home with this chicken parmagiana intact? I say yes

This is the second time this spring I've had road rage directed at me, on a quiet side street, just before or after my early Saturday morning swim workout. Are people drinking too much on Friday nights these days, or what?

Oh no! I just bruised some fragile man's ego by laughing at him and telling him that side mirrors are a thing, when he yelled at me to get off the road. On a residential side street, where I used to live, a block from a school. At 8 on a Saturday morning. Sure, buddy. Enjoy the Timmy's drive-thru.🤡

.... and someone from the local "Narrow-minded Neighbours" Facebook group calls me judgy and unforgiving for posting about this. My response: Yes I am, what's your point?

Academics before they retire: Hey Andrea, how's it going? I haven't seen you in awhile Me: yeah, I retired ten months ago Academics after they retire: Andrea, I didn't see you at the pool this morning, are you OK? We were concerned

... and the King of Chaos has arrived

I wasn't joking when I said I was going to turn this cat tree into a pirate ship. Phil is alarmed. Morris is asleep on top, utterly oblivious.

I'm singing the Bugs Bunny version of the Ring Cycle to Phil, he loves it! "oh Brunhilde, you so lovely..."

"Home Renos with cats" I did home renos with young kids, how bad could it be? I'm sure it will be fine

Dear people who leave their dogs tied in front of a coffee shop for over an hour, I don't think you like dogs very much. Consider a goldfish. Next time, I'm going to wait with your poor dog for your sorry ass to show up, and give you a piece of my mind.

Fox News: We want the Trump admin to build a surveillance state to ferret out all crime and round up undocumented immigrants, using whatever technology they can find. Also Fox News: How dare a surveillance state ticket our car for illegally parking!

How to get 2 hours of uninterrupted writing time: Spouse: did you sign those boring-ass documents yet? Me: I'm sick of looking at that cat tree Spouse: thank God Me: I'm going to re-purpose it and make it into a pirate ship Spouse: (walks away, shaking his head and muttering) Arrr!

Good morning, Ottawa. Bonjour, Ottawa.

To those of you who are continuing to use a leaf blower, to blow the same leaves around day after day, only to have them settle in the same place, Have you considered a less dusty mode of repetitive meditation? Just saying Thank you for your attention to this matter

Why is Phil so fat, despite strictly measured food rations and an exercise regime? Mystery solved. He got into a cupboard and ripped open a plastic food bin with his giant paws

Cherry cake from the European Deli on Merivale. Omg. Want. More. Every day. For the rest of my life. Dammit, I really wanted to move back to Halifax.

⬇️

I had an unusual day today as a retired person, where I wore a "dress" and "shoes" in the morning and rushed home to change into another "dress" and "shoes" for an afternoon event, which made me realize that I've been wearing gym clothes for 10 months. Verdict: I like the dresses, hate the shoes

Watching the opening of the new Hungarian parliament on the Youtube! Very beautiful building, much ceremony.

What is the plural of gyoza? Or is it already a plural?

Shoutout to the jerk who took it upon themselves to put a peanut butter ice cream container in my recycling, on my lawn. I have anaphylactic allergy. A trace of peanut gets on my skin, and I'm off to Emergency in an ambulance. Don't do this, friends. Get rid of your own damn peanuts.

Sometime decisions are unpopular because they are wrong and because three dissenting judges wrote a lengthy dissent showing just how wrong a bare majority of judges were.

When we adopted this fool from the Humane Society, he was in Solitary Confinement in a big room full of cat toys and almost 8 years later, I definitely know why. Two misadventures today alone. Energy level in inverse proportion to his IQ and spatial awareness. Sociable, athletic cat, but -- oof.

"The hill I will die on: heavy, awkward and you have to keep washing them: we don't need mugs, plates and bowls. Abolish them! They offend me personally! Styrofoam plates should be mandatory for all!"

Name your top 15 shows ever, gut instincts only: Loudermilk Transplant The Pitt Heated Rivalry Get Smart 30 Rock The Beverly Hillbillies ER Shetland Bordertown Arrested Development Tatort MASH Trailer Park Boys The Kominsky Method

He seems nice I don't think he's fond of Canadians, though

My effort to make origami tulips today for someone in the hospital was a dismal failure. I was gifted a kit from my spouse's cousins in the Netherlands, with very clear instructions, so I am just incompetent. Then I thought, why don't I just give him the daffodils from my otherwise unkempt garden?

Next time this happens I'm going to whip out Thucydides and read The Pellopenesian Wars until these clowns move their sorry asses

When people have parked their cars blocking the bike lane, they REALLY don't like it when you stop on your bike, stare at them behind sunglasses, and decline to go around them, choosing to wait. It freaks them out. My own personal sitting protest. I cheesed off 3 people today before 10 a.m.

I will now accept my Medal of Heroic Leaf-Raking 5 extra-large bags filled in 1 hour 3 worms rescued 2 cats entertained 2 neighbours engaged in light banter 2 raspberry bushes uncovered 3 bouts of leaning on rake lost in thought pondering whether worms live in families

Phil is "helping" me write about protest by protesting the fact that it's 11:40 and no lunch has been provided. Look at that face