] having him respond in completely the wrong language is killing me so bad for no reason

Monsieur, I set up this profile in an attempt to reply to this in character for the bit, but I came to realize I have no idea how Poirot speaks!

he LOVES hercule poirot

I'm very grateful to all members of the Japanese Task Force that remained by my side on the Kira case but by God every single one of you are idiots

I do not approve of murder, my friend. Every day, we meet people the world could do better without... yet we do not kill them. We must be better than the beasts. So let us find this killer.

The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate. Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yet... The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are... Death awaits you.

The real evil is the power to kill people. Someone who finds himself with that power is cursed. No matter how you use it, anything obtained by killing people can never bring true happiness.

The human who uses this note can neither go to Heaven nor Hell.

] he is not a religious man but boy would it be fun to lean into religious symbolism

What is it that I do? Um... When a crime has been committed, I can, by application of order and method and the slow extinguishing of my own soul, find without fail or doubt, whodunit.

No worries, Miss Amane. I always have time for cake. [ It would be bad for the both of them if word got out that Misa Amane was spending her spare time with a strange man, too. ] You needn't worry about payment, either. The least I can do is cover our order.

] lets see. umm. kidnapping. unlawful imprisonment. assault. breaking and entering. identity theft. hostage taking. illegal possession of firearms. searches without warrant. stalking. torture. almost definitely more i've missed

#SeductiveSunday This is my beach outfit.

] he hates shoes but avoiding getting a piece of glass stuck in his foot or something is decidedly higher priority

Hm... As long as we won't be attracting any attention, I suppose. [ Well, if they're going out... He grabs a pair of loose tennis shoes and slips them on, before trudging along after her. ]

Strawberry shortcake...? [ Big eyes, round and dark-centered like a cat's. ] Well, I certainly can't say no to that.

] he/him but frankly he doesn't actually care. gender does not matter to him

Mhm. [ He's not sure how to respond to this. Friendship and fondness... not something he's accustomed to. ] Right. Well, then, I suppose that's settled.

] got reminded of my own misa on twt. half the time all she did was bully mikami it was awesome . and then she turned green

Mm. Well, I don't see what your relationship with Light has to do with ours. [ It has just about everything to do with it, but he's not about to say so. He at least has the sense not to crush her spirits. ]

Hm...? Really? [ Not that he had noticed. He's not the most observant when it comes to interpersonal relationships, let alone romance. ] I see. Well, that's a shame... seeing as you clearly liked him. [ What he means is "it's a shame I can't redirect your excitement from me to him anymore". ]

Oh? That's quite the surprise.

Right, of course. Thank you. ... Although, I'm sure Light would appreciate it much more...

] he cant even say "i don't like hugs" like a normal person. it has to be "don't touch me unless you're dying"

Well, I'm not particularly interested. Unless you are actively dying from lack of a hug, Miss Amane... I think I'll refrain for now.

Was it not? [ Staring at her with his big eyes, idly hooking a finger on his lip. ]

Mm. Well, you've already done that now, haven't you?

] hes so mean . ❤️

Thank you. [ He peers down at his shirt and dusts it off a little, as though she might have gotten it dirty somehow. ] I'd appreciate a bit more warning in the future, if you really must.

[ Freezing up at the contact... Making exactly that face. ] ... Please take your hands off of me, Miss Amane.

How nice. [ Mildly pleasant but neutral tone. He dgaf ]

It's quite simple, really. Three of the greatest detectives in the world — L, Coil, and Deneuve — they're all actually me. It's been my experience that people who try to find me usually fall for this. ... I'll give you this strawberry if you keep it a secret, okay?

You know full well I can't disclose such information, Miss Amane.

// they’re sick.

] imagining this in L's voice and jts fucking killing me dude

“Maki... should I hold your hand in this case?” “Ryuzaki, in this case, you should shut up and hold it real tight.” “All right.” “You really don't know anything, do you, Ryuzaki?” “That's the first time anyone has told me that.” The two laughed like brother and sister.

That's a good point... You're not Kira. That is, it would be a problem if you were Kira... because... ... I feel you're the first friend that I have ever had.

I don't sit like this because I want to. I have to sit like this. You see, if I were to sit normally, my deductive skills would immediately be reduced by roughly forty percent.

The human whose name is written in this note shall die.

“Ryuzaki. Do you think... that I'm actually capable of becoming a murderer? Kira? Even after I help you catch him? Do I seem like that kinda person to you?” “Yes, you do. I've always thought so.”

Doomed. Very sorry

Is there possibility for Light and L enemies to lovers or is it doomed yaoi?

] getting back into death note is bad because pretty soon i'll be writing, like. misa and near and mello and like 90% of the cast .

] why did he say this

] FUCCKKK

] this post is really funny now that i've flipped the account.

1 2 ooatmeal

An "Angel". Interesting.