How bored was I during Covid? I turned FROZEN 2 into a metal concert.

Anyone else just randomly think about Gary Oldman cracking that pill in “Léon: The Professional”? Mesmerizing.

I’ve waited my whole life for a VOLTRON movie, and @amazonprime.bsky.social @primevideo.bsky.social decides to forgo a theatrical release? What a terrible decision. “Activate disappointment! Dyna-therms disconnected. Infra-cells down; mega-thrusters are sad! Let's go ruin this, Amazon Prime!"

On today’s episode of “How to Misspell Juan”

Decided to traverse the apocalyptic wastelands with my Canadian brother @mrhennessy.com. Come chat in my stream as we play FALLOUT 76! I mean, what else are you going to do on a Friday evening? Twitch.tv/johnnyvondoom

My out-of-state friends and I have started sending each other letters, and let me tell you, the dopamine hit you get when you receive one is the best. Recommend periodically sending letters to your loved ones. Far more meaningful than any text message or email you send.

*have been waiting my entire life for proof of existence of extraterrestrial life* Pentagon: *releases UFO files* Me: Yeah, okay. Release the Epstein files.

@shannonandswift.bsky.social This is so cool!

Good night, meatbags.

Take a look at my book nook.

How did the Toronto Maple Leafs get the first pick? Rigged. Not even hiding it. 🤦🏽‍♂️

Good morning, jerks.

Her: I might actually be a little autistic. Me: More like hot-tistic. Her: … Me: … Her: Why are y— Me: I DON’T KNOW.

Hi, my name is Juan Ortiz. I’m 43 years of age and I still like to pretend apple juice is whiskey and shoot it from a small glass.

“See you at the party, Richter.”

I literally asked myself, “Do I fix my roof and ceiling or get the animatronic Xenomorph? 🤔” Stupid adult responsibilities.

House falling apart, sick as hell, and favorite sportsball teams lost today. But I did score a 3 for $30 on these babies! Win.

Oh, shit, they did it!

Always remember to say “bye.”

I missed out on this when first released in ‘21. Since then it had been nearly impossible to find one that was priced below $200. After 5 years I finally got my hands on one for the original price!

It’s a street taco kind of night. But first the pico.

Amon Amarth killin’ it like always. 🤘🏽🤘🏽

Well now I want a “Paddington 4: Escape From New York,” and if I had stupid billionaire money I’d fund the entire thing myself.

Her face when I ask if she wants to see my “pleasure room,” and it’s just full of my Predator and Alien collection.

I miss when the orcas were like “fuck this yacht in particular.” Good times.

Ah, yes, Harry Styles. The thrash metal god himself.

👀

Me: Okay, finally able to save a little bit of money. Now to be smart and not spend it on anything stupid. Me 10 minutes later:

Saturday movie 🍿 🎥

It’s Friday. It’s rainy out. And I’ve nothing to do but… snack and stream! Come hang out as @mrhennessy.com and I navigate the apocalypse in FALLOUT 76! Streaming right now at twitch.tv/johnnyvondoom

When writing I rarely listen to music. For me, I have to have absolute silence or else I become too distracted. But for those of you that love to jam when conjuring stories, what are some of your favorites?

It’s Sunday. Guess I’ll go to church.

We may face a real apocalypse soon, but care to join me in a fantasy one? Streaming some FALLOUT 76 right now! Twitch.tv/johnnyvondoom

“Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside.”

#PhysicalMediaForever #ArrowVideo

Me: It’s April! Which means one of my favorite holidays is almost here. Friend: Easter? Me:

I’ve decided to take up the way of cats and start slapping anything I don’t understand.

“Fallout 76” getting all “Cannibal Holocaust.”

I wish I were as sleepy just before bedtime as I am the moment I get home from work.

there it is, all 7 continents

Movie night. 🍿 🎥 #PhysicalMediaForever #SupportYourLibrary

Ahi tuna steak tacos and a beer. Cheers, my friends.

I love that Dan Trachtenberg basically revitalized my beloved PREDATOR franchise, but truth be told, I would love to see him do something original next.

Dear future wife, This is the only ring I’m accepting.

People are arguing whether or not Coogler borrowed ideas from Tarantino like the horror community doesn't love that shit. Carpenter said "I wanted to remake Rio Bravo so I made ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13" and we were all "Fuck yeah, you did!" Who cares if he was inspired; he made a very different movie.

Okay, if I only watch 1 to 2 episodes every day for 3 years I might be able to finish ONE PIECE. Bahahahahaha!

My cabinets came crashing down last night destroying all of my glassware. Turns out the previous owner was an idiot and installed them by anchoring them to NOTHING. NOT A SINGLE SCREW HIT A STUD. Happy Friday, friends. 🤘🏽🤘🏽