Every big multi-billion dollar corporation needs to incorporate a little brainwashing.

#iykyk 😏🤑

Thanks to our arbitration clauses, we triumphed over the communists who sued us in a class action lawsuit for bait-and-switch prices. There are rumors @agrobbonta.oag.ca.gov @newyorkstateag.bsky.social & @kwameraoul.bsky.social are investigating us, but we are working with them to avoid any actions.

@kwameraoul.bsky.social another tenant filed a complaint with the Illinois Attorney General this weekend. We're going to sell his stuff before you all get to it though, cool?

New discrimination lawsuit. Who dis? DEI? Bye 😂

The Republican Party understands that monopoly is fun. Consumer protections are rules, and rules are meant to be broken. Don't kill our vibe, Jan.

Twitter suspended our account! What happened Elon? We thought comedy was legal now.

🙋🏻‍♀️Oligarchy forever! Corporate overlords unite! We live for the drama... and cash money 💰

Extra Space has entered the chat, bitches.

Someone called us a parody. 😧 We are as serious as cancer, so we added a check to our picture. To help fight disinformation, we made a starter pack of other super legit non #parody accounts. Repost and comment any suggestions.

Hope you bought insurance! 🤣 Jk! We don't care. We already got your rent for the month! 🤷🏽‍♀️

We hate when the cops seize our customers' stuff. That's our job. No wonder he didn't mind our rent increases.

Have you ever heard of Russia 🇷🇺? Have you ever heard of Mormons? Fun Fact: Our founder and current Executive Chairman Kenneth Woolley was President of the Moscow Russia West Mission of the Church of Latter-day Saints.

We're so smart! 😊🤑

Another job well done! If we warned you, you might have enough time to make other arrangements.

We're starting to walk in our truth. And that truth is making bank raising rent and selling other people's stuff. 🕺

This week, we announced a major milestone: We now have over 4000 stores in the US! We are taking over facilities left and right until we own everything and you have no options. 😃