Pro tip: if you bring sweats to change into after swimming laps so you don't have to put work clothes back on to run errands, it helps to also bring casual shoes. And a hair brush. Unrelated, if you saw me at the grocery store this evening, no you didn't.

Actual thing I said to Kid 2 tonight: "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was covered in toilet water."

It's a "scream sing the bridge to Death by a Thousand Cuts even though you're happily married" kind of Wednesday

Did not expect celebrating positive strep tests to be such a regular part of parenting

Some day I will learn not to check my phone when a sick child wakes me up early

Lessons learned from the Blizzard of '26: - snow filled ziplocs make great cooler ice packs to save your perishables - LED beanies are amazing, as are kid-friendly headlamps - try not to have both parents get the flu immediately before a blizzard

I love that the thing we apparently learned from the early days of the pandemic is that it's totally reasonable to expect people to supervise their children's virtual learning while also continuing to do their own jobs

I am complaining about day 2 at home now that I have the flu

Of all the days to be home with a sick kid, can't really complain about getting the one where we can watch skating and hockey finals live

For those playing along at home, the solution was to abandon the frozen pipe and reroute through the house creating more radiator. Did require a professional but was done in an hour.

Sooo anyone have tips for thawing a pipe in an inaccessible crawl space?

Scotch magic tape is wonderful but Scotch gift-wrap tape is an abomination. Don't make my mistake.

Pro tip: middle of a Patriot's game is a great time to go to Market Basket

Toddler figured out how to get a leg over the top of the crib rail send help

Raise your hand if you drank coffee at 4pm because you knew you'd be up late working and then were wide awake past 1am and now it's the next morning and you just want to go back to bed but you can't because you have kids and a job 🙋🏼‍♀️

My experience with getting bangs has made me much less skeptical of people not recognizing Superman with glasses on.

Kid 1 and Kid 2 figured out how to lift Toddler out of the crib this morning. Unclear whether this will result in more or less sleep for me.

Shout out to the daycare teachers who send you a photo of your child playing happily ten minutes after they had a meltdown at drop off

Good news: I remembered to make overnight oats last night. Bad news: I forgot salt, again 🤦🏼‍♀️

Nothing says last day of winter break like frantically grading exams while the toddler naps and the big kids play video games in the tent that has taken over the living room

Not the morning to discover there's no coffee in the house

TIL tonies still work after a trip through the washing machine

I have so many questions about how/where one procures these

If you're ever looking for something to do in Chicago, I highly recommend seeing the U-505 at the Museum of Science and Industry. Amazing story and really well done exhibit. taskandpurpose.com/history/germ...

Kids think I have access to the Santa tracker on my phone because I work for the military and I'm not going to tell them otherwise

Kid 1: If you're on the naughty list you still get presents on your birthday

My ongoing effort to teach Kid 1 and Kid 2 to choose and wrap gifts for others severely tested my Christmas spirit today

PSA fellow parents: night terrors are a thing look it up before your kid creates housewide chaos at 1130pm

Last week the Main Street trolley drove itself off the shelf to its doom, now I finish Santa's post office only to discover this fresh Lego nightmare 🤦🏼‍♀️

*Kid 2 looks at my sweater* Mama is that supposed to be ugly? Me: Yes Kid 2: And it IS ugly!

Always fun to start the day with your kid crying bc you're "never" home to meet the bus since telework authorization was revoked

Listening to the annual Poscast Holiday Draft is one of my marriage's foundational holiday traditions. Time to plan a road trip @davidmglick.bsky.social

Well this is a relief after slipping to top 0.5% last year.

The ch that @profjessblankshain.bsky.social and I wrote focuses on how the Total Force Policy affected the reserves: “Combined with the post–Cold War security environment, it fundamentally changed the way the reserve component is employed, increasing its operational use and professionalization.”

That moment when the book is actually real! @lindsaypcohn.bsky.social and I really enjoyed working on our chapter on the future of the Total Force.

Any recommendations to help a kid with sensory issues stay asleep at night? I'm seeing a bunch of weighted/compression blanket/pod/sheet options but not sure where to start.

Do we think Robert Irwin would partner with me for a video tutorial on how to change a toddler doing a death roll?

Wow Anne with an E season 3 is just one gut punch after another

*Listening to TLOAS with preschooler, who I have been assuming does not pay attention to song lyrics* Him: Mama there aren't keys to the city Me: uhoh

Eating canned peas (straight from the can, obvi) for an after work snack, as one does

It has been 0 days since Jess got way too fired up talking about Marbury v Madison

I regret to inform you that waking up half an hour earlier does make mornings less stressful

Help I'm "Halloween candy is too sweet" old and I'm not ready for this

Finally watching K Pop Demon Hunters. The children refused to watch it with me.

My kids are going to understand that the combination of the time change and this game means they should sleep in tomorrow, right? I assume they can just absorb ambient stress levels in their sleep or something.

Ok Lego app can we stop with the "prove you're an adult" math because that is not where I am cognitively right now

Got word I'm back to work on Monday with or without a paycheck. Catching up on @sirenspod.bsky.social to ease back into the foreign policy decision-making headspace.

Happy "panic ordering a new Halloween costume bc your child changed their mind again" week to all who celebrate

Being the parent who knows which trash is trash and which trash is NOT trash is a lot of pressure

The main thing I have learned as the parent of an early elementary school aged child is that I hold a pencil wrong