🐍”…Heh.” KABOOM! The ground under the pair explodes with a violent outburst, leaving the clay vessel that typically held Ren broken. She could always have Sobek rebuild it later, but now it was a matter of pride on the line.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𖤓 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒐ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She stared her down with a look like she bit into a lemon. 🐍”And I have my own way to work. You are not my boss, you are not part of my pantheon. You are a small scale replacement. So again, go get your own. I’ve grown plenty. Plus the Egyptian climate has produced plenty of them for consumption.”+

🐍”Let me tell you something.” She puts a hand on her shoulder and manages to pull her down to eye level without a moment of hesitation 🐍”My job is a lifeline. If I make more plants now, then we get more animals, then I need to overproduce and hope people don’t die from starvation. +

She scowls 🐍”The humans have strawberries, get a wallet and go buy some. I’m not screwing up my job on the whims of a temp.”

“…We speaking Bionicle now? What the fuck is that? I’m referring to- Oh-ohohoho, I almost said her name.”

Ren walks in from offscreen with fast food 🐍”…Oh. Hey.”

She looks down at her hands and notices they are turning translucent “aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“Seeing 𝐇𝐄𝐑 In my vision again. You’d be amazed what kind of shit a god sees while high.”

“Guys help, I don’t wanna be dragged into an analog horror video No one can comprehend my voice.”

“No, I don’t want any of the downsides. I smoke prop cigarettes.”

"Hostility? This is-" Her eyes get so wide you cant even see the Yellow of them, just a massive black dot "Shapes and colors and stars-" She then flops forward and hits the ground hard.

“But you aren’t prepared for this.” She throws a bag of some white powder on the ground and begins to cough…wait a minute, did she just drug them?!

@huntedsun.bsky.social “IS THAT THE FUCKING SUN?! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!”

“He’s not here ya know Something about bird envy.”

“Hey guys, how many bullets do you think I can dump into a fantasy chosen one before I get called by God HR?”

“…How in the fuck are you more greedy than the pig?” She’s chucking a whole onion in her mouth.

“Hey there buddy.” She’s cooking, that’s a good way to get a grease covered pan swung at you.

“Well guys, I did it I created something to outperform Oppenheimer.” OH GOD THERES A WHITE HOLE BEHIND HER

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅 , 𓆊 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒓 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⚰︎

Throwing a brick at @rainthebullets.bsky.social “GET! GET! OUTTA MY BED!”

“You know it’s neat seeing how humans use my friends names throughout their fictions. Thoth being an ancient alien AI that can time travel, Ra being a global monitoring system. Write something cool with me in it dammit!”

“…I’m still not hearing any changes to the description.”

“Oh hey you met Rattotoskr too?”

“Another miscalculation, but a minor one. You also need to go steal the catalytic converter from his car so he looses an equivalent amount of money to what he got from the insider trading.”

“Remember folks, ethics classes are a real thing you need to take Otherwise you’ll end up like me and accidentally release a feral possum into a gas station bathroom because the man inside was commiting insider trading.”

“Wow…imagine if I could do something like that…” That would require a routine outside of ‘live my life and annoy as many people as possible’. It’s not gonna happen, but it’s funny to think about. Especially since her dad is the god of half the bad things in her pantheon. “Got a name for it?”

“Which one and how? There’s been a lot of monotheism in the world, even in Egypt.” She’s curious now, eventually opening a door on the back of the rock and just walking out of it …WAIT A DOOR?!

“Oh no, that’s partially true. You’d be amazed how many religions have a slight bit of truth to them Wu Kong’s real. I think he’s still alive.” The head opens its mouth and shows an image of an underwater mountain on a screen where its esophagus would be.

“I made this as a prop for a fighting tournament that didn’t pan out. I just decide to use it for jokes whenever the time arises. Wait a minute…IF THATS NOT MAGIC, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!” She’s used to people just innately having magical talent, something like Hamon to her is a miracle.

The head sighs and kicks up a ton of dust “OH COME ON IM TRYING TO BE COOL! LET ME DO SOME COOL SHIT! WHATS MILDLY INCONVIENENCING YOU RIGHT NOW!” Oh hey, she’s so flustered she’s screwing up words

“Alright; second plague option: Plague of rats. Gonna have to call up a friend for that one by I’m sure getting those things out of wiring is gonna be hell.”

The rocks began to emerge and formed into a rather intricately designed rock. It’s shape matching the deities head “…Oh shit that’s kinda cool. What kind of spell is that?”

“Nah man, Plague of Radiation from your next set of batteries. Get Sterilized and forgotten by the records of history.”

She’s chucking as hard as she can with the intent to knock someone unconscious. That’s never backfired before (it had) and it won’t backfire now (it will)!

The head turns and begins to talk “I was just going to use this to do weird things with no explanation but now I think I just need to kill you.”

“Hold on I can fix that.” PUT THE BRICK DOWN YOU PSYCHO!

The ground eventually parts for… The biggest monument to ego ever conceived by a crocodile

There’s an audible ‘LA LA LA LA LAAAAA’ on the wind as the ground begins to rumble. Seems even she’s playing up the joke

Oh it’s gonna get worse, the ground is shaking now. Something’s coming up from the sand. It looks like a bunch of rocks.

“Domain Expansion: Crocodile Rock.” Cue the reader being transported to the desert

She’s kicking down a door “She’s here.” WHY IS SHE DEATH GRIPPING A RAT?!

“OH FUCK SHE MADE MY ARMOR ASHY! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!”

She’s walking out of a card shop with a hazmat suit, holding a cookie in tongs. “Oh dear god, those poor animals…”

“I will go back in time to the first Thanksgiving to give that turkey your ancestors ate the equivalent of a Harem.”

TRANS RIGHT'S ARE HUMAN RIGHT'S - dashare.zone ADMIN

“Agreed, he seems like he coos with power. By the way, haven’t seen your face before. I’m Sobek.” She’s putting away the photo of The Creature

“I will be adopting this thing when I can, because I love his big ass eyebrows.”