I’M TOO MUCH FOR THESE NIGGAS. I’M THREE MUCH FOR THESE HOES--FUCK, STRIDER GOT THAT SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD.

THANK YOU! I REALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS TENDENCY HUMANS HAVE TO CATEGORIZE AND CLASSIFY THE MOST NORMAL THINGS EVER AS SOME EXCEPTIONAL PHENOMENA. IT’S TANTAMOUNT TO HAVING A WORD TO DESCRIBE HAVING SKIN, I.E. POINTLESS BECAUSE BY FUCKING DEFAULT MOST PEOPLE JUST HAVE SKIN THE SAME WAY IT’S

OK, IT’S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, TRY DIFFERENT JOKES.

some people reely be out here broke as shell

I HEARD HIS POPS A PUSSY NIGGA TOO. SHIT MUST BE HEREDITARY.

AND HE BROKE.

its ok guys itll be african autumn soon

KRILL YOURS)(-ELLF

YOU KNOW WHO’S TO BLAME FOR THIS? YACKUB YAKUUB. AMONG THE MANY MORAL FAILINGS OF ALTERNIA, THE FACT THAT HE WAS ALLOWED TO REACH ADULTHOOD IS THE MOST SCATHING INDICTMENT OF THE KIND OF SHIP THE CONDESCE WAS RUNNING ON THERE.

i gotchu frond

-EV-ERYBOATY -EXC-EPT CRONUS*

YOU HEARD ME.

party at my crib everyboatys invited white buoys will be executed at the door

NO SWIRLERS ALLOWED.

NOT ON MY WATC)(

“WHITE BOY WEDNESDAY” I’M STRIPPING YOU OF YOUR MELANIN FOR THAT SHIT, NIGGA.

NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT.

FUCK YOU. WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE NIPPLES, WE DON’T GIVE LIVE BIRTH.

THIS IS A DOOMED TIMELINE. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS WHERE WE END UP.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM FORCING MYSELF TO WITNESS THIS. IT’S MINDNUMBING. SOMETIMES I THINK I HOLD THE PULITZER PRIZE FOR BULGEREEK NOOKSTENCHING, AND YET HERE YOU IDIOTS ARE! GOING INTO HARROWING DETAIL ABOUT GAMZEE’S FUCKING NIPPLES FOR SOME REASON???

YOU KNOW WHAT, TRYING TO DECIPHER ANYTHING ABOUT HARLEY GIVES ME A HEADACHE. WHATEVER YOU SAY, MA’AM.

I DON’T THINK THAT’S HOW IT WORKS.

...IS IT? IN MY EXPERIENCE, SHIT VERY QUICKLY ESCALATES AND HITS THE THRESHER AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WHEN PEOPLE AREN’T OK. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FLY INTO ANY MURDEROUS RAGES, ARE YOU?

OH, TRUST ME. I’M WELL-AWARE OF HOW LOW WE CAN GO AND I CAN GO FURTHER. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY I’M TAKING TIME OUT OF MY VERY BUSY SCHEDULE TO RESPOND TO THIS, BY THE WAY. EVERY WORD I’VE READ FROM YOU IN THIS CHAIN IS SO MINDBOGGLINGLY IDIOTIC THAT I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE MY SCALP IS BEING

NOT TO SOUND LIKE YOUR EARTH SISTER, BUT THIS IS A REALLY SAD INSIGHT INTO YOUR MENTAL STATE. I REALLY COULDN’T GIVE A NIBBLEVERMIN’S ASS ABOUT “PSYCHOANALYZING” YOU, BUT WE ARE (AND BELIEVE ME, IT DOES PAIN ME TO ADMIT THIS) FRIENDS AND THAT LAST SENTENCE ACTUALLY LEAVES ME WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

“FUNNY”.

WHO ASKED YOU, CYCLOPS. GO SHAVE THOSE PUBES YOU’VE EVIDENTLY GLUED TO YOUR CHIN BEFORE YOU THREATEN ME.

I SHOULD START SLANDERING OTHER KARKATS.

OH GOD.

WHY ARE WE ALL COMING OUT AS SOME VARIATION OF TRANSGENDER??

COME OUT, KANKRI. WE WON’T JUMP YOU.

mini kanks is right kankri fugly as shell -E-ELMAO

SEE, THIS IS WHY I FUCK WITH YOU.

OH, DEADASS? ON GOD?

WHEN YOU KNOW A NIGGA LYING BUT YOU LISTENING ANYWAY.

HE’S ALSO AN ERRANT TWITCHING WHINGEFEST OF A MONOLOGUIST WHO’S DESPERATE FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO SCOLD PEOPLE FOR DARING TO LIVE THEIR OWN LIVES, BUT SO COWARDLY HE CAN ONLY DO IT BY MASKING IT IN THE MOST HYPER-ACADEMIC DRIVEL WITH THE THINNEST PRETENSE OF HUMILITY THAT INSTANTLY REVEALS ITSELF

HIS NAME IS KANKRI AND HE WEARS PANTS HIKED UP TO HIS CHEST.

I JUST. YOU CAN ADMIRE SOMEONE’S OPPOSITION TO HEMOISM WITHOUT LETTING THOSE FEELINGS VENTURE ANYWHERE NEAR CONCUPISCENCE. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR *KANKRI FUCKING VANTAS*. GOD. ESPECIALLY NOT HIM.

...WHY????

I’M TELLING YOU THIS AS SOMEONE WHO’S: 1. UNFORTUNATELY MET HIM 2. HIS ANCESTOR??? I GUESS?? NO YOU DON’T. YOU REALLY DON’T

OH, YOU USE SICKLEKIND TOO? OK, YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE THE GRIST FOR THIS, BUT JUST IN CASE, PUNCH THIS CODE INTO A CAPTCHALOGUE CARD. CNCG2610. THE CLAWSICKLE IS SUCH A GOOD WEAPON FOR THAT MODUS.

WHAT’S YOUR MODUS?

THE METEORS, AS FAR AS I KNOW, TARGET THE LOCATION OF YOUR CRUXTRUDER. IF YOUR CRUXTRUDER’S IN ORBIT ALONG WITH YOUR HIVE, THAT METEOR’S NOT ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE.

I DID THE EXACT SAME THING AND IT TOOK ME A DAY TO REALIZE WHAT MY PLANET WAS CALLED. MY CONDOLENCES ABOUT YOUR HOME PLANET, BTW. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, THOSE METEORS WERE GOING TO COME REGARDLESS. ALL YOU AND YOUR COPLAYERS DID WAS SAVE YOURSELVES FROM CERTAIN DEATH.

OH. OH, YOU'RE IN THE MEDIUM. I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF YOUR PLANET, ASK YOUR SPRITE THAT. OR ONE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED ORANGE SCALEBEASTS.

I WOULDN’T KNOW. HELL? I ALWAYS IMAGINED THIS WAS HELL. I THINK I DIED 4 SWEEPS AGO.

UNFORTUNATELY? YES.

OH GOD, THE STRIDERS ARE FORMING A FUCKING COALITION.