Lunchtime shower break, have some freshly cleaned tummy for Tuesday!

It was warm today.

Yeah.

There's one of those annoying chain things going round saying post something random OR ELSE and I'm like... that's what I post anyway?

Saw the new magic wizard boy trailer. Oh dear. Actually burst out laughing at the Nick Frost reveal, he looks like a Kings Of Leon stunt double from the Molly's Chambers era. As much as I already hated the books this looks like such dogshit.

Things about me that are very Not Straight: Whenever someone says "it's raining, it's pouring" my brain reflexively shouts "MY LOVE LIFE IS BORING ME TO TEARS, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS"

Oh okay then.

"Oh no, the terribly written magic schoolboy books meant so much to younger me!" Yeah, well, Antichrist Superstar got me through my teens. The first G*thsicles album meant so much to me in my twenties and thirties. They are both irredeemably tainted for me. Do fucking better.

Thank you local coffee shop for hiring the 6'4" cub with the cute smile and giant ass. Immediate Monday morning improvement.

Wearing a flannel shirt today has made me realise I have achieved the "90s chubby sitcom dad" aesthetic I have always dreamed of and this pleases me greatly.

I know some people hate the phrase "friend-shaped" but honestly even though I'm 6'3" tall I couldn't be intimidating if I tried.

Moodybear is to Spiral Direct as Nasty Pig is to Alchemy Gothic.

Next American to disparage haggis or a pizza crunch gets hoofed in the hawmaws.

Post shower thirsty Thursday thiccmess. Yep, still fat.

Kitchens Of Distinction on the radio and my mood is lifted considerably.

Happy St Paddy's day I guess.

There's something so iconic about the production of 90s power ballads that still sends a tingle down my spine. It's still so earnest and unconcerned about being seen as cringe. As I get older I am truly leaning in to accepting the cringe and becoming free.

It's weekly stomach day!

To all the chubby millennials who are rediscovering briefs, you're doing fantastic work.

Gigs I have tickets for this year (so far): Christopher Cross Sugar The B-52s Garbage The Cure Truly, I am a cliché alternative xennial queer.

Tummy Tuesday for the first time in ages. Hello there.

Advertise your accent with a gif.

I'm 6'3" tall and fat. Come at me.

Random memories of a 90s TV program that had a small section on Girth & Mirth SF and also a Jerry Springer episode that that had 2 fat guys making out. I really wish I could find them.

Happy EBM day everyone!

Are dudeoir photoshoots still a thing?

From earlier. Haircut. Gay powers restored.

It's between Mortal Kombat Annihilation and Sucker Punch. At least Annihilation is enjoyably terrible in hindsight but Sucker Punch had me so painfully bored.

I've just spent the past couple of hours with my cat snuggled up to me, and I feel so honoured that this independently minded wee sweetie pie feels that in my arms is the safest place to be. I guess I'm not so bad after all.

Oddballs have become Aussiebum for bears, haven't they?

Jockstrap threat thread

Post a banger not in English.

Monochrome man crush Monday and my word the daddy vibes were DADDYING today.

Probably something by Kirsty MacColl, "Don't Come The Cowboy With Me, Sonny Jim" or the obvious "There's A Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He's Elvis". Followed by "I'm In Love With A German Film Star" by The Passions.

Turns out the best song for me to fast-gay-walk to is Tanz Mit Laibach. Good to know for future.

Of course I'm on that new scrolly app.

Random belly/bulge shot from earlier.

We need a secret word or something. Let’s change this please.

Brad Jones stung a bit. Nick Frost hit hard. But it's definitely The Gothsicles. So many songs that meant so much to me. Seeing him live was Incredible. And now...that. It still hurts. Also the same with Marilyn Manson.

I fucking despise Ticketmaster. However, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!

Parents With Big Naturals Night Of The Creeps With Big Naturals Six Days Seven Nights With Big Naturals

Just heard an old Biffy Clyro song on the radio and it reminded me just how much I absolutely despise Biffy Clyro. Absolute shit-shingles.

Pretty spot on.

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've been to. Nine Inch Nails (X4) Melt Banana (X2) 65daysofstatic (X4) Blood Red Shoes (x8) Tori Amos

FYI, fat guys are hot.

Better Knife & Kitchen Sanborn Construction Group Brass City Tile Design #iykyk

He's The Greatest Wanker Wankin' With Manson Wank This Mess Around Wank Or Die Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank Yrself Clean Let's Wank To Joy Division And what might be the best one yet... I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Wank With You

What position from this morning would you want me in?

And as a follow up, some good old fashioned willy.

First tummy Tuesday of 2026, have some gratuitous gut pics!