Trust me, you do not want to take antidepressants out of the hands of perimenopausal women. Those drugs are the only thing keeping even a tiny bit of “give a fuck” in our bodies.

Two-for-one on the 9pm helicopters. All is well on the Western Front.

🤩🤩🤩

I just got back from running some errands. While I was out, I realized that all Teslas have extremely dark tint on their windows. Probably to protect the drivers from their embarrassment.

Yesterday, I got word that another of my suppliers is no longer selling leather. The tariffs killed a successful importer of beautiful European hides. 🫠

Anybody who is better at this than me -- what is blooming today? I feel like I have been huffing sand.

Guess who has two thumbs and a hemoglobin count within a normal range for the first time in years?

On the complete other end of the spectrum, we have this absolute sack of shit.

dudes rock

a stink bug just flew onto my face as I was about to fall asleep.

I stg, men will do anything besides pay me. “Hey, I want to learn how to xxx” “great! Here is a link to my workshop that teaches that” 🦗🦗🦗

Find a doctor with a sense of humor

I got my newsletter out like a real, live, grown-up adult.

COME ON BIG RAIN DADDY

My garden bug removal weapons have arrived. 🫡

14 years, bitches.

the correlation is uncanny.

Many bags of dirt and 🐄💩 later, my last bed is in, and I used a leftover cattle panel to make a “tomato folding screen”.

I got my glasses Rx updated. Technically, I need bifocals/progressives. Chat, I cannot imagine getting used to that. Have you done it? Was it a headache (literal)? I may not have the patience for this particular gift of aging.

So anyway, I don’t do private label, and if you want 25 years of experience and equipment, you have to pay for 25 years of experience and equipment.

You will be shocked to hear that after I wrote the proposal and told him what it would cost for me to spend a week of my time working for him 🦗🦗🦗

Three middle-aged guys with paunches, riding mini dirt bikes in flip-flops and cargo shorts, just flew past my window. Virginia, did you go Florida all of a sudden?

My 9pm helicopter is late tonight!

What do we think the chances are of another freeze?

Well, that's two hours of my life I will never get back.

After work this evening, I shoved plants in the ground. Sometimes being an adult is okay.

In bleak times, enjoy the wins, and this is a big win.

First salad of 2026

Can I be so honest with you? I hate the term “sewist.” I can’t explain why, but it sounds almost demeaning to me.

Okay but, where does all the laundry come from?

We have a crow v hawk battle right now. Both sides trash-talk.

I haven’t had an energy drink in at least five years, but today I am strongly considering it.

Dr. Cerina Fairfax wasn’t murdered because of a messy divorce. She was divorcing a dangerous man who killed her.

After last year’s rough start. I managed to grow myself a salad.

Who can blame whiskey Pete for loving Quentin Tarantino movies and confusing their monologues with the real bible

I wonder if you have to prove that you drive like an asshole to buy an Audi, or if they just take your word for it.

I am driving across America today (to Baltimore).

Owning cats will make it look like you don’t clean up after yourself. Why has there been an envelope in the middle of the living room floor for the past two weeks, you ask? Because it’s his favorite envelope, that’s why

The foxes figured out there are baby bunnies. 😬

I think he went broody.

Our 2100 helicopter is a little delayed tonight.

Just early voted. Def a chill experience (lying). This November is gonna be “great”

So like I said...

Feels like storms. (my weather app says no) 🤷‍♀️

Somewhere in the ether, I have an ancestor saying the rosary and hoping I can manage to grow potatoes.

Dear Vevor raised garden bed designer, who hurt you?

Long ago, a cat died from being fed four minutes past feeding time. Cats have told their children of this for 3,000 generations.

I have crammed a large portion of the plants into the ground. 🥵

I just bought all the plants.

Methyl...Ethyl...they are basically the same. It’ll be fine.