write on!
 today's #haikufeels #prompt is 

 affirm

why were Steve Witkoff, Jared Kushner, and the repulsive Couchfuck McGee put in charge of "negotiating" peace with Iran? was it because Donny *wanted* the talks to fail? thank you for your attention to today's tremendous post in which I attempt to answer this question. link is here: bit.ly/4svwpyL

THANK YOU HUNGARY FOR NOT FUCKING UP

timeline synergy

who should Couchfuck McGee visit next?

here's today's post: "holy shit! Preznit Fuckwit depicts himself as Jesus, and MAGA actually melts down" — and Hungary sends its fascist packing. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

I solved the 4/13/2026 New York Times Mini Crossword in 0:55!

Connections Puzzle #1037 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪

Wordle 1,759 5/6 ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I had 0 mistakes on puzzle #567. Average mistakes: 2 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🔵🔵🔵🔵 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟣🟣🟣🟣 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

in today's post: Donny yells at another female reporter, and Couchfuck McGee and Jared deliberately blow up their Iran peace talks. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff —

I solved the 4/12/2026 New York Times Mini Crossword in 0:56!

Connections Puzzle #1036 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦

Wordle 1,758 3/6 🟩⬜⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I solved puzzle #566 and found the same first category as 42% of players. 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🔵🔵🔵🔵 🟣🟣🟣🟣 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

Connections Puzzle #1035 🟨🟪🟩🟦 🟪🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨

Wordle 1,757 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

exhibit a

royal ass-kisser Jesse Watters claims Iran *respects* Dear Leader. oh please, Tehran knows Donny is a buffoon. have you seen their mocking videos? I cover that and all the other dumbfuckery that happened in "this week in stupid," thank you for your attention. link is here: bit.ly/4tAMCDG

it's Saturday, and it's time for "this week in stupid: April 11 edition" — Donny Dumbfuck flies it, Jesse Watters lies it, and so much more... thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I solved puzzle #565 ranked average difficulty. Average solve rate: 41% 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🔵🔵🔵🔵 🟣🟣🟣🟣 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

"Ignoranti quem portum petat, nullus suus ventus est." - Seneca; Letters to Lucilius (Epistle 71).

here's today's post: "Melania no have dead pedo bestie, insists Melania" — what the fuck was that all about? thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff —

so what was Melania's incoherent 'Epstein is no my dead pedo bestie' presser all about? was it about the guy who got his own wife deported, and now the wife is threatening to expose Melania's secrets? it's all in today's fun-packed post. thank you for your attention. link is here: bit.ly/4moFuI7

I solved the 4/10/2026 New York Times Mini Crossword in 0:57!

Connections Puzzle #1034 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦

Wordle 1,756 5/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I had 0 mistakes on puzzle #564. Average mistakes: 1 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🔵🔵🔵🔵 🟣🟣🟣🟣 🟢🟢🟢🟢 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

here's today's post: "losing loser loses bigly in Iran" — awesome job, imbecile. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter to keep getting the good stuff —

Donny Dumbfuck wants applause for a janky ceasefire that looks like it's already falling apart. as usual, Donny got hoodwinked. thank you for your attention to my post in which I try to make sense of all the stupidity. link is here: bit.ly/4tyRauc

for those of you keeping score at home, the opening of the Strait of Hormuz lasted 0.045 scaramuccis

Iran opened the Strait of Hormuz for about five minutes and then shut right it down again, because Donny is an impulsive fucking moron who couldn't understand the terms of the ceasefire he agreed to. thank you for your attention to my post in which I mock all that shit. link is here: bit.ly/4tyWnlL

here's today's post: "oh, dear! Preznit Fuckwit’s ceasefire is already going fuckity-bye" — that was fast. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

Wordle 1,755 3/6 🟨🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections Puzzle #1033 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I had 0 mistakes on puzzle #563. Average mistakes: 2.1 🟣🟣🟣🟣 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🔵🔵🔵🔵 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

Article II Section IV of our Constitution : The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

I solved the 4/08/2026 New York Times Mini Crossword in 0:42!

Connections Puzzle #1032 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟪🟪🟪

Wordle 1,754 4/6 ⬜⬜🟨🟩⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I solved puzzle #562 and found the same first category as 60% of players. 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟣🟣🟣🟣 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🔵🔵🔵🔵 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

here's today's post: "children don’t give a fuck about Joe Biden’s autopen, you stupid shit" — one day, three fucktacular clown shows. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

just want everyone to know that I loathed Donald Trump before it was cool

have you heard Donny's latest lie? he's claiming that the Iranian people have been *begging* him to drop bombs on them. I'm not making this up. it's all in today's extremely angry post — angry like few thought possible. thank you for your attention to this matter. link is here: bit.ly/4dz8zyk

Connections Puzzle #1031 🟨🟩🟨🟨 🟨🟩🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟨🟨🟨🟨

Wordle 1,753 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Connections: Sports Edition My stats are in! I solved puzzle #561 ranked average difficulty. Average solve rate: 82% 🟢🟢🟢🟢 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🔵🔵🔵🟣 🟣🟣🟣🟣 🔵🔵🔵🔵 Play the puzzle: www.theathletic.com/connections/...

Wordle 1,752 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩