We love them. And we hang out until 5am 🥰

I’m noticing fewer gays than average at airports today 🤔

Oh honey, no amount of tapping on the screen will make the space lasers and our antenna bring your Fox News broadcast back any sooner.

Grateful to be heading home. ✈️ 🌅

My son makes a conscious decision to bring DJUNGELSKOG 🐻 down to our living room every morning. And then he tucks them in at night.

Young kids are kinda like farts. Obnoxious when they’re loud and deadly when silent. 🤫

Why do children have to do anything thirty decibels louder than necessary? Unless they’re making trouble.

At one point today I felt overwhelmed and told my kids. My 8yo ran to his room and brought me his weighted dinosaur plush toy to help me regulate my nervous system. 🥹🫠

Bahahaha

I just learned that my boyfriend called out blue light specials on the store public address system and it just makes me feel a kinda way. 🥵

Complete the series: - Locktober - No nut November … - Mormon missionary rule December? www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual...

I know a boy who will be very excited for his birthday cake. 🐶

You know how kids used to tell the joke “why was six afraid of seven? cuz seven ate nine!” Yeah, it doesn’t happen that way anymore.

INVALID_COUNTRY seems like a suitable error to debug on a cold Monday in 2025

“Good Luck, Babe” is a reboot of the von Trapps à la Rodgers & Hammerstein.

Any guesses when Kristi Noem will make a “relocation and hosting agreement” with Russia? 🤢

This is a lovely article. www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

Sanitizing docs and maintaining internal consistency is a tall order. Also assumes that all the hands doing the sanitizing are cool with covering the tracks of some pedophiles but not others.

Brunch plans. 🍽️

Would I buy something at one store to return it at another store for $35? Sure I would, especially when I have to go to both stores anyways. Such is the kleptocracy of 2025.

It’s just so pretty 😍 classical.music.apple.com/us/album/143...

BURNING BUSH AHEAD. THOU SHALT HAVE NO IDOLS BEFORE ME!!

woof 🐶 sounds like the “service dog” poodle with nails painted hot pink that wouldn’t obey basic commands like sit or stay I had on a flight earlier this year. 🤣 ☠️

If a boy thinks Mozart is too basic, perhaps he’s not worth it. ↑ sound relationship advice

“I ate whipped cream like a piggy.”

feral.

Hey dad, let’s take a shower 🐈‍⬛

baby bus doot doo do doo do do baby bus doot doo do doo do do 🎶

My hero 🥹

Hahaha week sales. 🤣 It’s the zeitgeist.

The youth, they really don’t know how to write without AI do they?

A boy and his cat

The orchestra teacher is making a slew of SIX-SEVEN jokes at the concert tonight and @nickforbrains.bsky.social just mutters « pollué dégueulasse » 🤣

Rescuing a few evergreens 🌲

Two boys enjoying a fire talking about rail rolling stock.

Coke lines, but Biscoff dust.

This boy is about to sleep beneath the stars ✨😴

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Dear Father, please let him die swiftly. Amen.

My kids love their stuffed animal bears. 🐻

Apparently a king-sized bed isn’t roomy enough for three boys if I’m one of them. I splay. 🛏️

The universe is smiling on sweet boys and giving them empty middles tonight.

Creature comforts lounging about in LAX

It might not be June, but LA has gloom ☁️

This boy is about to learn how to surf. 🏄‍♂️

Zero complaints about a speedo weekend instead of a cold, rainy one.

Good morning ☀️ It’s so nice being in warm instead of cold rain. 🌧️

Nick is showing me an interview of Andrew Mountbatten-Pedo in which he says that his one weakness is being “too honourable.” jfc…

I predict a Utah name trend…

If you call yourself a “thought leader” you probably aren’t…

Fun fact: a 737-900ER can get up to cruise altitude REALLY FAST if it has 120 seats empty. We did it in under 14 minutes. Green line on the chart is the climb to cruise altitude.