Literally I just found out from this reskeet😂

It’s quiet on here today…

My handle is “jeep guy” but I sold my jeep today because it was a giant piece of garbage, so now I don’t know what my handle should be.

Texted my (tall)boss that I would be taking today’s holiday off and was told I needed to be at work. This is a hate crime. Who do I report him to?

Me with the neighborhood black cat that comes for a scritch every night when I’m out for my walk

Stop using ai. It is trashy & lazy.

I slept for 10 hours, it’s gunna be 77° today, and it’s a Saturday.

My neighbor painted these portraits of my dogs and gave them to me for my birthday so I hung them in my dining room cuz they’re SO good.

When I merge onto the freeway blasting Slayyyter and the government needs to warn everyone

Arguably, that is far too many sprinkles for a 36 year olds birthday cake, but I will eat it anyways. Happy birthday to me🎉🎂

I love my 3 mile mental health walks in my little PDX suburb. Everything is so green, and the skies are blue, and the air is a perfect 67°

Me every Sunday night

Me with photography. I don’t want to enter competitions, or take classes, or start a business. I just like to go out in nature and take pretty pictures to share with my family and friends and hang on my walls.

Some of yall posting selfies in mirrors need to realize we can see the room behind you. Go clean your apartment babe.

I’ve seen enough zombie movies to know a guy doesn’t die and then rise from the dead because he’s “divine”.

Me at 1pm when I sneak away from my desk and go into the office cry room

Petition to skip April 1st and go right to April 2nd to avoid these dumb April fools jokes

Just called the cunt farm, slay

I don't like coffee anymore april fool!!!!!!! I love coffee bitch!! I'm having some right now!!!

100% yes

I knew it 🥺

It’s finally slutty little shorts season girls and gays! 🥰☀️

It’s a sunny, cherry blossom filled day here in Portland so my ootd is following suit🌸🌞

Groundbreaking

Follow me for more fitness tips😂

Everyone else is playing pokopia but my sister and I are still sending post cards of endearment to each other in animal crossing✨

Opening bluesky right after my alarm goes off on a Friday morning #fcf

I’ve been alive for 35 years and 10 ish months and I am only just now seeing what Charlie puth even looks like for the first time😂

We went to a rave last night and this morning I’m rudely aware that I am in my late 30’s. I haven’t been hungover in at least 8 years. Where is the Tylenol and pedialyte? 😅

Seeing everything going on in the world right now, on top of finding out the company you work for is being sold and you may not have a job in six months really makes getting up everyday at 5:45am difficult. Like what’s the point?

When Amy Winehouse sang "What kind of fuckery is this?" I felt that.

This is so real😂

Seeing one of my fav artists, Monolink, next week and I’ve got my outfit all picked out. It’s just a little bit unlike me to wear a mesh shirt but fuck it😂

I love finding out that people you follow are following complete trash human beings. Nothing makes me hit the unfollow button faster.

Bluesky is great everyday (for the memes) but best on wednesdays (for the butts) and fridays (for the fat cocks)

The vibe today

Yes daddy

Pink Pony Club - Chappell Roan

Everytime I see someone post a nude with a caption about “wrecking holes” I immediately just think of Wreck it Ralph.

So I’ve been battling psoriasis for about 10 years now, but in the last 6 it’s gotten really bad. I finally got approved for Skyrizi and WHAT THE FUCK is this cost?! They charged my insurance $22,700 for one shot?!

Everytime I see a guy in the gym working out in jeans it gives me the ick and now that I know the walking brain worm anti vaxxer works out in jeans there is just an added layer of ick.

YouTube can fuck all the way off with this bullshit prayer app ad featuring Chris Pratt. Like excuse me get the fuck out of here with that cult promoting bullshit.

Monday Scaries. Not because I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow, but because it means I have to listen to my bitchy ass coworker complain all fucking day.

Today when I was unplugging my car, my big ole dump truck of an ass accidentally rubbed against someone else’s charger and caused their car to stop charging. He came down to the garage with SECURITY cuz he thought someone was fucking with his car. Nope. Just my big ole BUTT causing a ruckus. 🤭