It’s 2028 Hunley has made me Sidewalk Czar. We have instituted stacking fines for not shoveling sidewalks. We’ve collected millions in fines from shitty landlords and businesses. You’ll finally get sidewalks in your neighborhood. I’m marching TWG to the gulag for hitting day 14 without snow removal.

MEIJER SIDEWALK NOT SHOVELED 2 WEEKS POST SNOW STORM

Joe Montana was bothered about being asked to be here.

The Olympics has to be the place the phrase “former Soviet missile silo” is said the most in the 21st century.

My son just said “l got a blicky”

I assume if you find a building that says it’s a “Mayor Greg Ballard” building, we can just claim it as ours now?

RIP Mao. You would have loved sitting on benches.

🤔🤔🤔

James Briggs decided BRICS should get social media grace. So I’m deciding that also means The Mind Trust has to give me grace for saying they should be put in holes not roles last year on social media.

In the span of a week the Indy Chamber has come out in support of: Data Centers Criminalizing homelessness I assume next the Indy Chamber will come out in support of bombing Iran.

You know who’s not in the Epstein files? George W Bush. Ducking shoes and Pedos.

7pm Banana Lattes

Whoever decided the city needed a podcast and put Hogsett on it should be fired and their salary put towards a little sidewalk snow plow.

How it started

Zero visible/useable sidewalk on this street from week old snow. It’s time to start fining businesses and apartments immediately.

For all the cold haters out there, I have one thing for you. Fruit trees are gonna pop off yard this year with all this extended below freezing winter. Expect a heavy flowering Spring. As long as there’s no late frost those flowers will become an abundance of fruit.

Kids can’t play basketball for free indoors anymore, but we made sure IMPD got brand new cars.

Incredible, master class of a thread

The collected total inches of Penis of all ICE employees is 3.14.

Got a head start on my neighbors. First guy to mow my yard this year on the block.

“The murders can continue as long as we can strap a camera to you to watch.” -Coalesced Dems

Part of the rules of living in MK is that you have to never be happy with anything. In fact, anything short of the city performing daily rub and tugs is unacceptable.

The Expendables is boomer Avengers.

I like the show “House Hunters” you really get to see so many people that shouldn’t be in a relationship together try to make the largest purchase of their life.

Broke my snowblower. RIP

lol trying to make plans for the week with the managers above me and no one is answering. I’m about to put every one of my employees on PTO and tell the bosses to figure it out.

Saw a group dragging someone on skis from the back of a truck. Old man me was mad for like 3 seconds and then I remembered if I was 20 years younger that would be me today. Enjoy kids and please be safe.

You need MSG gravy today. Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

Just an fyi, this snow isn’t sticky at all. It’s too cold for that. Don’t break your back shoveling this shit. Grab that leaf blower and just blow this shit off your walkway.

Just Minnesota. He’s cool with every where else though.

sorry, but the Founding Fathers' original intent for the 2nd Amendment was always *just* to do school shootings

Pretty sure I’m watching the first battle of CW2 happening live on agenda free tv.

Guys, don’t get upset they used a 5 year old as bait and then shipped the 5 year old across state lines. The orange man might invoke something he’s definitely going to do anyways!

Strongly worded Schumer letter incoming!

I’ve reached full hippie dad status today. Making baby food for our kid.

Vote for everyone’s favorite autistic baddie. Make Aaron Freeman suffer at being explained things by Clif.

“In the last civil war, in the height of the conflict, with suffering in every direction, someone invented A1 Steak Sauce”

Petition to have all Sunday Night Football games start at 6:30. I’m old and sleepy and can’t do 8:20 games anymore.

I just saw a Seahawks player with a neck roll. They’re winning by 1000.

Hello mudda Hello fadda Globalize the Intifada

They won’t legalize nuclear bombs because I’d use every one of them on each supporter of this anti-homeless bill at the state house.

“We cannot put all City Councilors in the same box. There are some that are bad for our community. There are some that are Ron Gibson who are absolute ghouls.” 46th Street Mayor Anderson York said.

We have to start killing these people. I need you to become comfortable with that.

Made bread pudding with Amelia’s Semolina bread. That fennel fucking slaps in a bread pudding. Highly recommend.

Indy Arms needs a bike rack

I think the worst part of AI generated videos is we used to actually try to headbutt goats, now they just make fake videos of it.

I watched a video of a civil rights lawyer just reading case law verbatim. The comments were “a leftist civil rights lawyer I see” Reading established law directly is now leftist.

Nothing in Hamilton County is Indianapolis. If you refer to any part of Hamilton County as Indy or North Indy, I will ridicule you.

I’ve set up a data center in my basement. We’ve got generative AI watching constant streams of zoo monkeys jerking it on flock cameras. We’re cooling them with raw sewage and a slow drip of a caustic solution. I’m afraid I may have created the first AI war crime.