Plowing snow on the Monon with an ebike

Now that I’m really rich I can go on environmentally destructive vacations most people can’t even imagine

Breaking the delivery robot open like a crab and eating the insides.

Back by popular demand: people driving on the Monon

What does Joe hogsett even do anymore?

I don’t know any American farmers that are poor or even middle class. Every one of them helicopter skis and takes private planes to St Barts and drives a $100,000 truck

Everyone excited to go back to WORK tomorrow?!?

It only snowed maybe 2 inches and most of it melted overnight but I’m still on Facebook posting about how I haven’t seen a single plow in my tract home neighborhood

I’m gonna start treating rolling up to the bowling alley like I used to treat rolling up to the basketball court

My wife’s cousin Bob was an extra in a Harry Potter movie

I’ve got hourly schedule send emails to every city councilor starting at 9am tomorrow complaining about my dead end residential street not getting plowed.

Pretty windy out.

I hate Mondays but love lasagna and pussy

Coworker was telling me he was at a Matt Rife show and someone in the balcony was ODing and they had a narcan on the main floor and were trying to throw it up there but no one could throw that far. Took like ten different people trying before one of them had the arm to throw it up to the balcony

Two things I saw in the same block of an alley: $5000 worth of dj equipment packaging and an unsupervised smoldering pile of leaves. In conclusion Indianapolis is a city of contrasts.

About to rain a bunch and then freeze. Hope your gutters are clean

Just saw a guy riding a bike down 49th street carrying at least a 12 foot ladder under one arm.

Has anyone ever volunteered with any sort of community organization and met a politically conservative person? I haven’t.

If he wasn’t lord O the self dealing sex criminals you could almost feel bad for Joe Hogsett. He’s alone and divorced in his home putting last nights martini glasses in the dishwasher watching news clips Andrea Hunley lead a cheerful rally of a couple hundred people on a bright sunny November Sunday

I have beer tastes on a champagne budget

I feel bad for Nick’s mom because not only does she have her grown adult politician son living at home with her but also now he’s also getting her house Swatted because of him

Great day to pile up a whole bunch of leaves and kinda light it on fire then leave it smoldering unsupervised

The 46th street mayor and I planted about 300 fruiting trees/shrubs this year. The only part of the “legal process” you shouldn’t forgo is calling 811 before you dig. Damage to underground utilities costs us all money.

Saw a turkey giveaway today where people waited in their cars in line for multiple hours. A turkey is like $20, right?

Watching The Substance. Definitely not enough instructions in that pack for me.

Just set something that was not a 12 pack of miller high life bottles on the counter and the clerk (who had never acknowledged he recognizes me/has seen me 2x a week for years) said “damn! you switched it up!”

Oh is a politics ball happening

it's friday

Can’t park there. Sorry your bus is late

If you’re in the crosswalk then urine the crosswalk. We’re peeing on cars now.

Indianapolis announces universal curbside recycling starting in 2028. So just go ahead and start saving your cans now

Last night at the community meeting people asked for more parking and more police. There is a police station IN a parking garage here already!

Racist nimby (broad ripple village revitalization) meeting #2 did not disappoint. Much larger venue and I got the edible dose right so it didn’t feel as tense as last time but lots of that same mad and stupid energy from wealthy white people aged 50 and up we all know and love

They should invent a way to take the microplastics out of my blood/cum/brain tissue and use it to 3D print gun parts

Oh no it’s raining and dark at rush hour. Time to forget everything I know except for fine dining and breathing then drive home

I could beat up every lean six-sigma black belt.

tried to read republican mayor candidate front runner Michael Paul-hart’s newsletter this week but didn’t make it past the first two sentences which are copied below. “This week looked a little different. I spent part of it traveling presenting at an AI Summit in New Jersey”

“Some think” and it’s just Ron Gibson.

The Indianapolis department of metropolitan development is seeking RFQs for a massive parking study of any of you bike nerds wants to weaponize/monetize your special interest. Hell I bet some of you already have half this report written

Did not do either of these things

(Someone who never had any responsibility ever in their life) having a kid really opened my eyes to what is important

Death, taxes, and I70 westbound being at a complete standstill as I ride underneath it on the way home

There is an untapped market for Christian dog daycare/spas.

They did not collect all the broken car parts or even sweep them off the trail.

He looks great. Not like a dog that has that glaze in its eye the months leading up to when it can’t find its food bowl anymore and starts having indoor bathroom issues.

Pretty nice out. Probably gonna leave work early to play bicycle and then get one last mow in for the year.

At the World Day of Remembrance vigil Council member and mayoral-hopeful Michael Paul-Hart told me his hair serves two purposes. One the extra shellac is like a helmet unto itself and two all the product makes it extra shiny which reflects light so it’s like built in hi-vis

This is real life now I guess

I don’t care if trump blew bill clinton. Oh am I supposed to care because it’s GAY?! yawn

Two suburban dads each blowing leaves across a driveway at the other and when their air streams connect it’s like in dragonball Z when opposing Ki blasts hit