Someone told me their cat gets an upset tummy if they eat cold food. So I started gently heating the cats food if it comes from the fridge. I exaggerated and said I am hand warming it. But, guys ...they believed me. Am I THAT much of a new cat mom sucker? I guess they think so.

My schedule for tomorrow: 1) ?????????????? 2) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3) &#%$@&€%# 4) zzzzzzzzzzzzz

My down comforter blew a stitch in the night and I awoke covered in down feathers. Like a snow Phoenix I rose, in awe that my super power of being able to make a mess everywhere I go is finally confirmed. Is this my final form?

I sustained eye contact with a total stranger across the restaurant while I fingered a two foot long stretch of cheese dangling from my mouth in an attempt to wrestle it into an appropriate sized bite. They approved in a silent nod. I feel seen.

At what point do I include managing a MMORPG guild as a viable project management skill on a resume?

Today was the best day to put up the tree. So we did. And now I realize this will be the first time I've had a tree and a cat. And not just any cat, a wild bird-killing cat who thrives on adventure and aggressive cuddles. He's already claimed it. It's only a matter of time before tragedy strikes.

Today is the secont Saturday where my entire strategy of the day is centered around cleaning and organizing to prepare for company tomorrow. Today I must put away piles and piles of laundry. So, obviously, the first priority is to build a bookshelf.

I think I'm at that phase of life where I need to make real life buddies who can help me move furniture.

Tonight I learned a game my kid invented. It was entirely unfair in favor of her. I played along, my inner justice champion secretly judging the terrible game mechanics.

My kid engineered her way into a high cupboard using interlocking tongs. She kept looking back at me. I'd smile and nod, she'd smile and nod back, then return to her task. Something about the silent approval and acknowledgement really struck me. No words exchanged. Just mutual appreciation.

I think the algorithm believes in me more than I believe in myself. I'm bombarded by recipe videos of various degrees of intensity. I don't know how to do these things. But I love watching people poke their fingers in the focaccia bread and the dough ball sort of deflates.

The algorithm is really trying to get to know me, and I appreciate it.

I'd like to thank the part of my brain that has a cluster of unyielding neurons telling me to just give social media another go. And a special shout out to the optimistic section with a "maybe this time you'll know what to say" sign, it is really encouraging.