Guess who forgot to pick out a fresh sweater this morning and has gone out to the café in the same black hoodie he wore yesterday while comforting Viola with hugs at the vet's yesterday. #SimonFurwad

HAPPY ST PIRAN'S DAY. Piran or Pyran (Cornish: Peran; Latin: Piranus), died c. 480, was a 5th-century Cornish abbot and saint, possibly of Irish origin. He famously single-handedly drove all scones with jam atop the clotted cream from the County of Cornwall, armed only with a butter knife.

I was opposed to the war with every fibre of my being. So now that I discover it's been framed as a Holy War, I'm gonna need tons more fibre to oppose it with.

They're rebooting CAPTAIN CAVEMAN for modern audiences!

THE INDEPENDENT: You can always tell when a PM's days are numbered. ME: Unless you're a PM.

Just read that the DOW is set to plummet. Yikes. That was the only thing keeping Bondi from investigating the Epstein Files.

The World Police are corrupt as fuck and operating without an Internal Affairs Division.

Amrael. It's just a portmanteau of America and Israel. But it doesn't half sound like the name of a fucking demon.

"Our bombs are now smarter than our President." John Stewart.

A PSA from Thomas Massie:

Farage says under a Reform UK government, only British citizens would be allowed to vote. 1) That's the law already, so not much of a reform. 2) What he actually means:

The world continues to keep me supplied in material to discuss with my therapist. yay

Starmer: "UK planes are operating in the skies over the Middle East today." FFS, WHY? There's a war on and Starmer was getting a bad case of FOMO?

In the middle of a discussion about AI, for some reason my mind goes back to Morecambe & Wise sketches where Ernie says things like, "Oh, I've got a spare five minutes, I think I'll write a play."

A new episode of World of Telly is now available wherever you get your podcasts. This month we're watching UFO, the sci-fi classic from 1970. The video version of this episode is currently in a copyright dispute so please watch it while you can! youtu.be/kgpJJzg_1S4

Sir Oink A Lot fared poorly because of rumoured close links with David Cameron back in the day.

At this rate he might even defect to Reform

Well done, Greens! As for Starmer, I feel like giving him my best Bruce Forsyth impersonation: "Didn't he do well!". With, you know, just a dash of irony.

Farage claims high levels of illegal family voting in Gorton & Denton by-election. Comment, not from me: "Family voting was probably Reform voters helping each other spell X correctly." Love it.

So, how was the speech from Rambling Don Trumpo? Or is it still going?

Will there be an alternative State Of The Union where the performer speaks English?

Viola loves to burrow under blankets and into duvets, but normally objects to having blankets laid over her. It's all about freewill. Yesterday though she submitted to the unsolicited covering and embraced the comfort.

"We are not in woke we trust, we are in God we trust”. Pete Hegseth, forgetting that God is pretty fucking woke.

Huzzah! Plenty to look forward to from Neil Tellyman & Company (they're like K9 & Company but without the jogging down country lanes and random action poses etc in a quirky 80s title sequence)

Farage's cabinet looks like a self-assemble flat pack job ordered from Conservative IKEA.

Trump is mentioned in the Epstein Files more times than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible. Apparently this exonerates Jesus from having anything to do with Christianity.

Wow.

Crêpe Diem!

Dollar are looking a bit rough

Image captured of Trump's popularity about to skyrocket after ringing endorsement from Truss #TrussForTrump

I expect Trump's popularity to receive a boost of -1200, maybe even -1500% after this ringing endorsement #TrussForTrump

It's like Jar Jar Binks endorsing Jabba The Hutt #TrussForTrump

Thinking back on the movie NUREMBERG and the scene where Göring, confronted with horrifying evidence of the concentration camps, pointed out that the Berliner Börse was up by 300 points. Amazing.

And, whatever else you say about JK Rowling, she didn't black out Harry Potter's name throughout the books.

This whole Starmer thing takes me back to when David Tennant's Doc was all "I don't want to go" and I was like 'For fuck's sake, haven't you gone already."

While Bad Bunny was a 'slap in the face to America' according to Trump, Kid Rock lip synching *BADLY* to his own song is surely a great metaphor for all the White Christian Nationalists who don't even know the words of their own fucking Bible.

Trump is so self-deluded he'll probably still be claiming to be doing well in the poles when he's hanging from one.

Musk says Christopher Nolan has lost his integrity for casting Lupita Nyong'o as Helen in THE ODYSSEY. But he was oddly quiet on the historically inaccurate train carriages in DUNKIRK.

Is Nicki Minaj thick as mince? Seeing her standing with Trump, you gotta think, neither of these people are the right colour to be supporting white supremacy.

Not only is Pedro Pascal in EVERYTHING these days, there's a guy who looks like him in our local supermarket.

MELANIA will not return in AVENGERS DOOMSDAY

D'you suppose Kristi Noem watched 101 DALMATIANS as a kid and saw it as a body count.

First session in my new round of counselling this morning. A productive and encouraging beginning.

After MELANIA flops hard, Netflix has high hopes for this dramatisation of the Trump-Putin romance.

Kristi Gnome

It's like that AVENGERS scene. Loki: "I have an army." Reform: "We have a Braverman. And, er, a mad mayoral candidate who copies Trump penguin memes."

America is on the ground, pinned by masked thugs. America is being pepper sprayed. America is being pistol-whipped and beaten. America is being disarmed of its Constitutional rights. America is being murdered in broad daylight.

Ugh. One of my favourite followed recipe pages on FB has just started posting nauseating braindead pro-Trump propoganda. I don't want food suggestions from a braindead fascist apologist, no matter how appetising the meals look.

One thing to be said for the original Nazis. They didn't go about whining, "Don't call us Nazis."