You're Dhar Mann now dog

This, but also teachers. Having a child doesn't give you special insight that outweighs the experience of people who have extensive training and often advanced degrees.

Inside you is 2 wolves Inside me is 3 wolves More Wolves = Better Than

A Noem is what I call it when a dude tries to read me poetry and I have to shut him down

Don't feel bad, you're just as indescribable to Cthulhu as he is to you. When Tsathoggua asked him what the deal with humans is, he was heard to remark "I don't know, they're just like these weird little guys"

An annoying amount of my day now is spent muttering at computers "Okay, but I didn't ask you to do that". I don't want applications to guess at what I'm trying to do, I want them to do what I fucking tell them to do. It was bad enough when it was just Word, now all apps are real go-getters.

Be the change you wish to lose in the couch

I'll always regret that I was too young to appreciate when Halley's Comet last came around and I likely won't live to see it return, but I got to see Addams Family Values in the theater so overall my life is a wash

Every Phil Collins song is actually about how he didn't intervene to save someone's life, people are just really bad at understanding subtext and drums

What we want doesnt matter We are casualties in a worldwide game of the extremely rich carrying out atrocities to further enrich themselves and their friends The press is co-opted to protect that power structure and the opposition party is token resistance We have no access to any levers of power

It's sobering to realize that all of the things I look back fondly on from my youth and romanticize as being happier and easier to enjoy, simply weren't. It's not even as complicated as nostalgia. I just wasn't as jaded and depressed when I was younger. Things weren't better, I just got worse.

God's all banging on his heaven walls like this right now

First it bends Then it breaks

This is not my first rodeo. It's my second, and I wasn't really paying attention at the first one so you better believe my confidence is unfounded.

I like how I have to hit up AND THEN down to get to where I can then hit right several times to turn on close captioning in youtube that makes a lot of sense to me

Jumping Jacks were invented in 1883 by Dr. Noel Jumping when a bat flew into his smoking chamber

Everything is Theranos now, sans the consequences

Starting a song with "You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen" is so damn audacious. First off, we clearly run in different circles because I don't know any of these people. Second if you're gonna name drop, make it someone good like Bradley Cooper

@themountaingoats.bsky.social thanks for the kick ass time. The Portland specific edition on that closer was transcendent.

Whimsical British dealer selling smack for tuppence a bag

They used to do this thing where the cast of a TV show would be like "From our family to yours, a very happy thanksgiving from Knott's Landing!" They should never have stopped that. "All of us here at Dexter: Resurrection wish for your family only the moistest bird flesh" Comforting, familiar.

New @jacobgeller.com video? And it's about Silk Song and Christian eschatology? It's a good time to be a @nebula.tv subscriber, I'll tell you that much!

Installed Duh-olingo so I could become fluent in sarcasm

It's hard to overstate just how omnipresent saxophones were in the 80s. Things about to get sexy? Things also about to get Saxy. Chasing a drug trafficker along a Miami waterfront? Sax got you covered. Vampire Jamboree? You better believe you don't even have to ask.

Ready to feel old? Baby Gronk is now known as Gronkey Kong. Original Gronk is now called Cranky Gronk. As an aside, it's telling how many times my phone tried to change things in this post to The Grink

I wonder what Pierre Delecto is up to there days. Drinking whole milk on the French Riviera? Setting up a trampoline on the Cour Napoléon? What a charmed, yet strangely bland life.

I'm kind of endlessly fascinated with how the song In the Pines has haunted America for well over a century. It permutes and adapts to our changing tastes but remains an unyielding reflection of our innate melancholy and longing for some primordial, supernatural refuge from pain filled lives.

Don't let people tell you Monster Mash is the only Halloween Carol. I listen to this every year and it's weirdly touching. youtu.be/bc_8kpozjPw?...

Yeah, that's me. I'm a private detective. The name's Toscanini Dacron. Dame just dropped a case in my lap. A jewel heist just went down at Dien Bien Phu Falls. I get time and half plus expenses and I plan to rock around the clock.

To help me keep them straight, I devised the following mnemonic device: "If the David be Keith, what a relief! If the Keith be David, quite underrated!" I've found it does not help in the least. #bless

The left needs it's own Stretch Armstrong

Portland is such a burning shambles, its hard to believe that people went out to see Molly Tuttle, but I guess that speaks to just how much this show fuckin rocked. We didn't even care that the Roseland is made out of Plywood or whatever

There's Logan's Run rules for Bluesky but it's just that you're no longer allowed to watch Star Trek Deep Space Nine when you turn 39.

Choosy moms choose Jif. Choosy Ralphs choo choo choose you.

I'm PH balanced, for a woman

Honestly, we should have seen how this would all end up after the wide spread acceptance of the 900 number psychic hotlines. If not because of what it meant for us as a society to normalize that, then because we could have have just called one and asked them what was gonna happen.

The older I get the more I see where Beetlejuice is coming from

Life feels a lot less manageable when you realize days and years are made up concepts and it is one continuous experience that you just happen to be unconscious for parts of. Maybe don't do that

The loneliest epidemic is out of control. I even saw a documentary on a dove that was lonesome. Harrowing stuff

There was a time when people thought the lyrics "Fee fi fiddley-i-o" were insightful and provocative and what's more they were right.

Speaking of upholding truth in media, Dunston never actually Checks In. At all. He doesn't go up to the front desk and give his name or even a reservation number. He never receives a key (or key card). Point of fact he is SMUGGLED into the hotel. How does this charade serve the public interest?

I'm movies and tv in the 80s the precocious boy would sometimes turn to the camera and waggle his eyebrows. This was how you knew they had the devil in them

They say when your ears are burning it's because someone is thinking about you but Occam's razor says it's probably because of how I set my head on fire while trying to light a smoke on the toaster. Who's to say

Remember when Carl's Jr introduced the 6 dollar burger because "Whoa, can you even imagine how good a 6 dollar fast food burger must be?"

Enough with Alien vs Predator, time for Alien vs Mank

I'm glad I'm not one of a pair of twins. It seems like it would be a lot of work to remember which one I am.

All acts of resistance, no matter how small, add up.

I've noticed that people don't call me an old soul, now that I'm old. Heck, I'm lucky if people call me any kind of soul at all these days.

Going to start referring to my friend Ryan, who is an economist, as "Ryan, from Econ" so as to appear younger and more vital

The pitch meeting for basically every Tremors sequel