Hope everyone is having a great Robert Smith's birthday.

Okay I cut the stupid grass.

Apparently I have been signed up to receive many many phone calls regarding refinancing my mortgage. We’re counting in the high 20-something calls so far today starting at 8am, I love this! (I have it set up to only ring for numbers in my contacts, but this isn’t how phones are supposed to work!)

Aw man, thought I had a chill day working the front desk, but it turns out there's a baby shower coming in. Rude.

Last night when I couldn’t sleep I tried to recite all of Steamed Hams like counting sheep. I did not do a great job but that just leaves room to keep trying.

Who here is excited about the Freeze Watch, eh?

Sometimes a block isn't because someone did something bad. You just never want to see anything they ever have to say.

My stepmother fell on some stairs and had her shoulder pop out of socket, which really stinks but then she was like, “don’t put it on Facebook!” which is confusing because I haven’t posted a thing on Facebook for centuries. But I mean, might post about her shoulder injury who can say

Whoa.

Tonight someone rented the party room for a “prom send-off.” What does this entail?

I will wait until it’s like 48 degrees in the house to turn on the heat, but 74 and humid? Oh yeah, it’s a/c time, baby

Got this week’s Tournament of Champions spoilered and I’m now watching it upsettedly because I already know [no spoilers] loses and I hate it!

Watching the original That Darn Cat again because I like the vibes. And the scene where Ingrid back-combs her whole hair and then brushes it back down. That’s good tv

A rare Saturday off for me, how will I completely waste it THIS time

Handed this lady her third tequila sunrise. She took a sip and made a face and said, “Is there ORANGE JUICE in this??”

I’ve heard Hip to be Square twice today, my punishment for leaving the house I guess

Having a Hennepin for the first time in probably years and it is delicious. Is Ommegang owned by anyone weird now?

The same guy has called every day I've worked this week and asked if the fishing pond has been "restocked" yet. This isn't something I would ever know! Also his name comes up as "PROFESSOR BEAR" on the caller ID

One lady keeps bringing her dog to pickleball in a little bag like she’s Zsa Zsa Gabor. Is that a topical reference

We ran out of copies of our party rental request form and it seems like it’s not saved anywhere on the server, so I re-made it in Word, including re-ordering it so it made more sense and removing the comic sans. I cannot wait to see what the morning lady who is kinda mean has to say about it.

Someone just posted on the 311 app that there's a large black dog running around basically my exact address DID MAVIS GET OUT OF THE HOUSE IS SHE MISSING Luckily I get off work in mere minutes

Instagram keeps putting links to Threads in my notifications that I click before I realize that’s what they are. It’s always something a friend said, but then under it, there’ll be a super incendiary one from a stranger. Just saw one that said “Why are you as a woman drinking beer??” 😶

I live for the little lullaby alert my phone makes when my do not disturb turns on. Shhhh, it’s just bedtime

God I hate this shit sandwich of a president. I miss the other day when we thought he might be [redacted]

Jewel had leftover Easter bouquets for $4.99 so I treated m’self

I was thinking about going out and doing stuff today for my mental health but instead I’ve decided to stay home and do three to five loads of laundry for my mental health instead. It’s cheaper.

Anna Boch, a Belgian painter and collector, bought The Red Vineyard (1888) for 400 francs. It was the only painting Van Gogh sold in his lifetime—a single spark of recognition amid years of silence.

Ordered from Dragon Bowl (terrible but I always convince myself it’ll be good THIS time) and the fortune in my cookie was an ad for crypto. I think. Or maybe sports gambling. It was not super clear. But anyway, what a rip off

If it happened would they tell us

A lady gave me dimes and a nickel for my Aldi cart and I’m sorry but that’s not how this works

Turkey Hat is bartending during the basketball game tonight. She was complaining that she didn't have anything basketball-themed to wear. I suggested she just bring a basketball and continuously spin it on her finger the entire time but she didn't think my VERY FUNNY JOKE was funny at all

Texting with an old coworker whom I didn’t know what she was talking about half the time and it feels really nostalgic because I don’t know what she’s talking about, just like old times.

Made what I thought would be a very good pasta sauce with onion, garlic, lemon, white wine, capers, and grape tomato — a top tier combo! But it was boring and I didn’t finish it. Welcome to being old and having a broken mouth!

I worked in the kitchen today and did not get to say “hot behind!” ☹️

I have cried three times today about how beautiful music is and I know it’s a fun mix of PMS and perimenopause but it’s also right — that music IS fucking amazing hell yes.

Got an email about an art show with an open call for submissions, but the theme is “My America.” 😑 Wow cool theme

Coworker's trying to get me to watch a space shuttle launch and I'm not falling for that again

Happy Anniversary to the time my cousin announced on Facebook that she was pregnant with twins and no one knew if it was an April fools thing or not. (It wasn’t)

The front desk window is "locked" by putting a peg on each side of it. One of the pegs is on a chain, the other isn't. The lady who works here in the mornings removes the unchained peg to open the window and it gets lost constantly. Why aren't you removing the chained peg? THE CHAINED PEG!!11

There should be a notation as to whether or not the murder/missing person has been solved before you watch the documentary about it on Netflix, is all I’m saying

I spent a couple days concocting a dish in my head to use the bag of red beans I definitely had in the kitchen, but when I went to soak those red beans, …where were they?? Guess I didn’t have them after all, let’s all enjoy Cajun pintos I guess

Oh hell yeah, Soy Curls on the Tournament of Champions randomizer? Tap me in, Aarti

Cleaned the Mavis nose prints off the windows, but now that the light has changed I’m glaring at all the spots I can now see I missed. Too tired to rectify it, what’s wrong with nose prints anyway

My boss's 11 year old is wearing a Nirvana shirt. That's all.

Okay, I actually made ok tips today and the baby whose birthday it was loves me, all in all a fairly successful day. Plus I saw @damagedintransit.bsky.social and a mysterious green orb!

Dying

The new party rental contract at work has a “staff fee” that’s supposed to make up for the lack of tipping that goes on in the bar but accounting can’t find a way to actually give it to the staff on top of the hourly pay, so the city just keeps it. 👍🏼 We just learned this yesterday. 👍🏼👍🏼

I should be able to relate to my book club’s pick for March, yet I hate it and I cave wait to finish it. Lord, lady, shut up

Mavis wanted to watch Grey Gardens but immediately fell asleep. Typical Mavis