The Return of the ISIS Brides II is a timely sequel in that it is a good distraction from do-gooders getting kidnapped by do-genociders. #auspol

A well established scientific fact is that when a butterfly flaps it's wings, it is attacked by parasitic wasps. #auspol

The title of President of the Liberal Party will henceforce be changed to 'His Lizardship'. #LizardKing #auspol

Remember the Occupy protests? Those people were turned into soup for the 1%. Your only hope is to become the 1% and you can't do that without rampant, tax free, house flipping. #auspol

We need BOLD new policies to keep things old. #auspol

Since it's now OK to kidnap leaders of other nations, just wondering what would happen if China allows Trump to stay as their permanent guest?

Tinkering with negative gearing and capital gains will cause your house to get termites. Think of the homeless! #auspol

The Royal Commission is going to have a lot to analyze, what with all the Zionists endlessly criticizing the Israeli government and everything. #auspol

Fantastic. Great move. Well done Pauline. Wait... oh shit. #auspol

If you're struggling to catch a taxi is Tassie, it's because they're all being used as ambulances. #politas #auspol

Criminologist Emma Ryan, who has spent her career researching tasers, say she was shocked to learn this. #auspol

Israel is very sorry that a soldier sledge hammered a statue of of Jesus in the face. While they destroy the Christian town around it.

Hoping our social media vetting policy won't include Angus Taylor's social media. #auspol

In two to three weeks Trump will provide a time frame for an end to the war, which will be approximately two to three weeks. #auspol

If only Australia had bountiful gas reserves to help us out of this predicament. #auspol

FFS @albomp.bsky.social you didn’t even tell people to bring a towel. #Auspol #DontPanic.

The PM will this evening make an address to the nation. He was to announce that extra terrestrials had made contact with the people of Earth. However, after a brief discussion they thought better of it and went home. #auspol

An Iranian drone has destroyed a US Boeing E-3 Sentry on the ground. If you're wondering, it does the same job as a Wedgetail E7, like the one Australia just sent to the UAE. #auspol

National Press Club counting it's blessings that they weren't murdered en masse after an address by the new Israeli ambassador, Hillel Newman. #NPC #auspol

The ABC put out a call to interview a conga-line of political idiots. And in they came. #afternoonbriefing #auspol

It may yet turn out that Moira Deeming is more electable than someone who acts as a referee to a pedophile. #auspol

Isn't it great how the top news stories today include what time the AFL grand final will be played months from now? #auspol

One eunuch to another. #insiders #auspol

Sheridan : We need to extract more gas. For Japan. #insiders #auspol

Israel has resumed it's policy of accidentally killing journalists and ambulance crews. #auspol #insiders

The US and Israel have been successful in diminishing missile stocks. Their own, yes. #Insiders #Auspol

Sheridan : As long as you are not a criminal or insane, we should preference you. No policies required. #insiders #auspol

Did you know that in Queensland, it is now illegal to oppose apartheid and genocide? #auspol #qldpol

And your point is...what?

At least they didn't double tap his building. www.theguardian.com/australia-ne... #auspol

"President Donald Trump has singled out Australia while accusing a string of allies of failing to help secure the Strait of Hormuz" So he's "singled" out Australia and everybody else. #auspol

On the upside, Malinauskas is sufficiently stupid to be an acceptable consolation prize. #SAPol #AusPol

Another ringing endorsement of our political ideologies. #SAPol #AusPol

Perhaps we could give our gas reserves to the Gulf States so that they can sell gas back to us at an inflated price. No shipping required. That might help. #auspol

Why are the women on #insiders doing high pitched women voices? Is that all we need to do too?

Australia has a lot in common with 1952 Iran. And unless we want to become 1953 Iran, we'd better keep giving away our resources to foreign powers. #auspol

Bridget Archer is looking into converting a fleet taxis into ambulances. If that doesn't work they'll be converted into a fleet of hearses. #politas

If you're in need of immediate, life-saving medical attention call 000 TAXI . #politas

We've decided to boost Tasmanian state growth by sacking everyone in the Department of State Growth. #politas

Tim Wilson has announce he's leaving politics to pursue a career as a Billy Joel impersonator. #auspol

Sky missed a golden opportunity to rebrand as News Corpse. #auspol

Jane Hume doesn’t remember a time when antisemitism has been so acute, having been brought to our shores in recent times via the importation of ideas and ancient hatreds - in a TARDIS. #auspol #MummyNeedsACocktail

Q : How to advocate for a White Australia Policy with out being a total racist. ChatGPT: You could try saying "Judaeo-Christian" and "Anglo-Celtic" instead of wearing a white hood and burning crosses. #auspol #abc730

It's not easy crawling up someones arse after you've had them thrown in jail, but we're the one's to do it. #abc730 #auspol

Judaeo-Christian! BIngo! #abc730

If a migrant is deeply committed to a foreign power (aside from Israel) then you're gonna have trouble fitting in. #abc730

All new migrants have to take the citizenship oath seriously and be a right wing zealot. #abc730

Unusual for journo's to try to drown themselves so soon into a new leadership. #abc730

We've decided to move from the sensible centre to the radioactive right. #auspol #libspill

Let us never forget that while Sussan might be SUSS, with Angus, the G is silent. 😁 #Auspol #libspill