Fake LNP
@fakelnp.bsky.social
📤 71
📥 11
📝 288
None of our posts represent actual LNP policy, except the really stupid ones.
#auspol
The Return of the ISIS Brides II is a timely sequel in that it is a good distraction from do-gooders getting kidnapped by do-genociders.
#auspol
1 day ago
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A well established scientific fact is that when a butterfly flaps it's wings, it is attacked by parasitic wasps.
#auspol
1 day ago
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The title of President of the Liberal Party will henceforce be changed to 'His Lizardship'.
#LizardKing
#auspol
1 day ago
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Remember the Occupy protests? Those people were turned into soup for the 1%. Your only hope is to become the 1% and you can't do that without rampant, tax free, house flipping.
#auspol
5 days ago
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We need BOLD new policies to keep things old.
#auspol
9 days ago
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Since it's now OK to kidnap leaders of other nations, just wondering what would happen if China allows Trump to stay as their permanent guest?
12 days ago
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Tinkering with negative gearing and capital gains will cause your house to get termites. Think of the homeless!
#auspol
12 days ago
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The Royal Commission is going to have a lot to analyze, what with all the Zionists endlessly criticizing the Israeli government and everything.
#auspol
12 days ago
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Fantastic. Great move. Well done Pauline. Wait... oh shit.
#auspol
13 days ago
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If you're struggling to catch a taxi is Tassie, it's because they're all being used as ambulances.
#politas
#auspol
18 days ago
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Criminologist Emma Ryan, who has spent her career researching tasers, say she was shocked to learn this.
#auspol
add a skeleton here at some point
20 days ago
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Israel is very sorry that a soldier sledge hammered a statue of of Jesus in the face. While they destroy the Christian town around it.
about 1 month ago
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Hoping our social media vetting policy won't include Angus Taylor's social media.
#auspol
about 1 month ago
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In two to three weeks Trump will provide a time frame for an end to the war, which will be approximately two to three weeks.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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If only Australia had bountiful gas reserves to help us out of this predicament.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Fake LNP
Jennifer Crawford
about 2 months ago
FFS
@albomp.bsky.social
you didn’t even tell people to bring a towel.
#Auspol
#DontPanic
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The PM will this evening make an address to the nation. He was to announce that extra terrestrials had made contact with the people of Earth. However, after a brief discussion they thought better of it and went home.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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An Iranian drone has destroyed a US Boeing E-3 Sentry on the ground. If you're wondering, it does the same job as a Wedgetail E7, like the one Australia just sent to the UAE.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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National Press Club counting it's blessings that they weren't murdered en masse after an address by the new Israeli ambassador, Hillel Newman.
#NPC
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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The ABC put out a call to interview a conga-line of political idiots. And in they came.
#afternoonbriefing
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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It may yet turn out that Moira Deeming is more electable than someone who acts as a referee to a pedophile.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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Isn't it great how the top news stories today include what time the AFL grand final will be played months from now?
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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One eunuch to another.
#insiders
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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Sheridan : We need to extract more gas. For Japan.
#insiders
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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Israel has resumed it's policy of accidentally killing journalists and ambulance crews.
#auspol
#insiders
about 2 months ago
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The US and Israel have been successful in diminishing missile stocks. Their own, yes.
#Insiders
#Auspol
about 2 months ago
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Sheridan : As long as you are not a criminal or insane, we should preference you. No policies required.
#insiders
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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Did you know that in Queensland, it is now illegal to oppose apartheid and genocide?
#auspol
#qldpol
about 2 months ago
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And your point is...what?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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At least they didn't double tap his building.
www.theguardian.com/australia-ne...
#auspol
loading . . .
Lawyers criticise ‘extreme’ arrest of Isaac Herzog protester after NSW police release video
The 42-year-old is the 26th person charged after February rally against Israeli president that led to violent clashes between police and protesters
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2026/mar/27/isaac-herzog-protester-extreme-arrest-police-video-ntwnfb
about 2 months ago
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"President Donald Trump has singled out Australia while accusing a string of allies of failing to help secure the Strait of Hormuz" So he's "singled" out Australia and everybody else.
#auspol
about 2 months ago
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On the upside, Malinauskas is sufficiently stupid to be an acceptable consolation prize.
#SAPol
#AusPol
2 months ago
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Another ringing endorsement of our political ideologies.
#SAPol
#AusPol
2 months ago
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Perhaps we could give our gas reserves to the Gulf States so that they can sell gas back to us at an inflated price. No shipping required. That might help.
#auspol
3 months ago
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Why are the women on
#insiders
doing high pitched women voices? Is that all we need to do too?
3 months ago
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Australia has a lot in common with 1952 Iran. And unless we want to become 1953 Iran, we'd better keep giving away our resources to foreign powers.
#auspol
3 months ago
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Bridget Archer is looking into converting a fleet taxis into ambulances. If that doesn't work they'll be converted into a fleet of hearses.
#politas
3 months ago
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If you're in need of immediate, life-saving medical attention call 000 TAXI .
#politas
3 months ago
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We've decided to boost Tasmanian state growth by sacking everyone in the Department of State Growth.
#politas
3 months ago
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Tim Wilson has announce he's leaving politics to pursue a career as a Billy Joel impersonator.
#auspol
3 months ago
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Sky missed a golden opportunity to rebrand as News Corpse.
#auspol
3 months ago
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Jane Hume doesn’t remember a time when antisemitism has been so acute, having been brought to our shores in recent times via the importation of ideas and ancient hatreds - in a TARDIS.
#auspol
#MummyNeedsACocktail
3 months ago
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Q : How to advocate for a White Australia Policy with out being a total racist. ChatGPT: You could try saying "Judaeo-Christian" and "Anglo-Celtic" instead of wearing a white hood and burning crosses.
#auspol
#abc730
3 months ago
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It's not easy crawling up someones arse after you've had them thrown in jail, but we're the one's to do it.
#abc730
#auspol
3 months ago
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Judaeo-Christian! BIngo!
#abc730
3 months ago
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If a migrant is deeply committed to a foreign power (aside from Israel) then you're gonna have trouble fitting in.
#abc730
3 months ago
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All new migrants have to take the citizenship oath seriously and be a right wing zealot.
#abc730
3 months ago
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Unusual for journo's to try to drown themselves so soon into a new leadership.
#abc730
3 months ago
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We've decided to move from the sensible centre to the radioactive right.
#auspol
#libspill
3 months ago
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reposted by
Fake LNP
Scoffy
3 months ago
Let us never forget that while Sussan might be SUSS, with Angus, the G is silent. 😁
#Auspol
#libspill
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