Clarence Thomas says the 14th Amendment should be read narrowly because it was written for formerly enslaved people. By that logic, the 2nd Amendment was written for muskets, not AR-15s. Funny how that kind of originalism only shows up when it's convenient.

Touching the reflecting pool is a crime worthy of 10 years in prison. Touching a child gets you into the White House. This is the worst timeline on god.

These arrests at the reflecting pool should terrify and concern everyone. The federal government is fabricating accusations to protect the President’s ego. This is dangerous.

This is what happens when you let a Batman villain paint the reflecting pool.

So, wtf is that?

Weird that Trump was claiming to be a Knicks fan last night. He’s been a fan of the Spurs since Vietnam.

Happy Pride Month to all who celebrate, to all who love to love, to the families, to the friends, to those who brave a world that is hostile to their very existence. You are seen, you are loved, you are celebrated.

Oh my god, is it happening? Please be happening. I’ve got to go out and get champagne!

Donald Trump skipping his son’s wedding in the Bahamas is the first time he wouldn’t fly to an island for a child.

Looking like hammered shit as always.

I have called a number of republican senators to ask them to post on their websites what crimes I need to commit to get in on the receiving end of $1.8 billion dollar slush fund. I ask "if beating up a local cop is enough or does it need to be a capital cop. Do I need to smash in Capital window?"

May this man’s photoshop never crash, may his deadlines be easy and his coffee always invigorate him.

In the words of the Beatles, it won’t be long…

Right…

“The thing is, we really did have everything, didn’t we?”

Fun fact: Karoline Leavitt is closer in age to her newborn baby than to her husband.

that day is gonna make Mardi Gras look like a Calvinist pilgrim's tuesday supper

Motherfucker got booed for as long as it takes to nuke a Hot Pocket. 😂

“When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression, you prick.”

Little Marco’s ears grow every time he tells a lie.

Are we deadass?

Here’s the problem with blaming the alleged Trump assassination attempts on rhetoric. It ignores the fact that Americans who cannot afford healthcare, housing, or groceries feel a sense of clawing hopelessness and desperation watching this administration spend 1 BILLION in tax dollars on a ballroom.

So we went from $400 million of private funds for the ballroom to $1 BILLION of taxpayer money. 😂 “aMeRiCa FiRSt” or whatever, right MAGA?

Damn, the guy who’s basically a middleman who makes his living off of stealing from and manipulating people thinks Trump is a good guy? Who would have thought?

What are the 3 branches of government again? I know it's pedophiles and corporations, but what's the third one?

The question is not whether Pete Hegseth is ashamed of his faith in Jesus Christ, but whether Jesus Christ is ashamed of Pete Hegseth’s faith in him.

Whatever Druski did to Erika Kirk is reminding me of when Eminem slaughtered Machine Gun Kelly so bad he started making pop punk music. Pardon my language but, what the actual fuck?

Let them eat intel dividends.

This ballroom is the new wall. “Mexico” will pay for it. Or wasn’t it already completely funded by private donors? But suddenly it’s an urgent security need to be passed on to taxpayers. I’m no math or finance whiz but seems to me like somebody fucking lied.

Let them eat cake, or whatever.

Something bad gets vaguely close to possibly happening to Donald Trump: “We need an ironclad, bulletproof, gold-gilded ballroom to protect the president and his rich friends!” Kindergartners get massacred and ripped apart by an assault rifle: “Thoughts and prayers, nothing we could have done.”

Just minutes after an “assassination attempt.” Why does everyone look damn near giddy?

Did Kash Patel come running when he heard there were shots? 🥃

Another fake assassination attempt? Really?

Never seen an administration just come out with the pro-pedophilia stance so plainly. Wild.

Crooks gonna crook.

“Judge, let us present Exhibit A.” “Case dismissed.”

😂😂😂

Taking $11M from needy children to spite the Pope is such a pro-life move.

JD Vance Catholicsplaining to the Pope is insane.

I’m pretty sure this is who Donald Trump thinks is the Pope.

He was murdered. That’s called murder.

Has JD Vance tried telling everyone how great Trump is?

Trump needed someone to push him by the Pampers into Marine Corps One. 😂

The absolute kindest I can be about my opinion of this administration:

If I can no longer afford the gas to commute to work do I still have to go?

Guys, we can’t have long to go. Any day now. I hope it’s a Friday.

Yassss kween. 👑

Uncanny! #TheSimpsons #MikeJohnson #Trump