I have redecorated my house. Any one not following my lead is not a patriot and likely an immigrant. Anyone not decorating their house like mine should therefore be deported immediately. No ifs, no buts.

This is blatantly discrimination. Embezzlers deserve far better than this. Except, Marine Le Pen is a woman so I should probably be supporting this and harassing her. www.wsj.com/world/europe...

So after kicking me out for being a racist misogynist who's harassed women, they replace me with a racist misogynist who's harassed women.

An announcement. Today, I am launching a national inquiry into the rape gang scandal. Of course I don't actually care and I'm not even in a position to launch a national enquiry. It sounds good though, and I'm sure I'll find someone to blame when the enquiry doesn't actually go ahead.

Have I mentioned I give my MP salary to charity yet today? I don't like virtue signallers, but I do love going on about how grand and charitable I am.

To all my followers who expect to see my constant tweets regarding small boats, I must apologise. For the foreseeable future, I will instead be posting about Jacqueline Perry KC 20 times a day, calling her out for her accusations. I will not stop until she retracts her statement that I harass women.

I have not harassed anyone, and I would never harass anyone. I will now hound this KC night and day, until he retracts his statement.

"Disgusting and contemptible"!? That's rich, coming from a man who turns up at board meetings smelling of fag-ash, stale-beer and failure.

We're the party of hate. Don't tell me you didn't realise we also hate each other.

You should see how he dresses for ReformUK PLC board meetings.

I'm considering names for my own political party. Currently, I've chosen The Lowe-nly Party.

Rumours are circulating that I threatened Zia Yusuf with physical violence. Let me be abundantly clear - this is untrue. I do not stoop to threats of physical violence so if anyone else repeats this libelous rumour, I'll knock their block off.

I've won a prize! 🥳

I just don't know what this world is coming to. You do a couple of innocent little Roman Salutes, and everyone calls you a Nazi.

We are delighted to welcome Kaymey McIvor to the fold. Reform is proud to be made up of tax Dodgers, wife beaters and now a sexual deviant. We are currently in walks with the police so we can get Ivor Caplin released so he can join as well.

If your local laws are incompatible with Meta, then your local laws MUST BE CHANGED.

I would like to offer my deepest sympathy to all my colleagues at Reform, who have to endure Nigel's leadership. Musk and myself are doing everything we can to rectify this situation, and I will be taking over as soon as possible.

I was shocked this morning to learn my energy provider has had me under internal investigation, owing to my exceptionally low electricity bills. Had they discussed this with me, I'd have been able to tell them that I much prefer gaslight.

Statement: Today I voted for the amendment requiring a nice lengthy enquiry prior to any child protection being enacted from the 2022 report. Let me be clear - I could not give a flying flamingo about child safety. But this is a goldmine for political point scoring!

Hi Ed, welcome to the platform. I was wondering if you could help me with advancing my political career? Would it be possible for you to lend me a 150 foot bunjee cord, so I can arrange a 125 foot jump for Nigel?

Today's schedule: 4:30 AM Rise, check weather 5-6:30 Animal care 7-10 Fieldwork 10:15 Snack 10:15-12:30 Tasks 12:30 Lunch 1-3 Admin 3-5 Field 5-6 Animal care 6 Dinner 6:30-9 Paperwork 9 Sleep I don't know when I'm going to find time to write pointless letters asking for a repeat public inquiry.

Back of Ben you bitch, he's mine! How are you Elon? What policies would you like to see me bring to Reform? Thinking of you ❤️❤️❤️

This morning I have written to Nigel Farage - my message could not have been clearer. Hahahaha hahahaha, he's my friend now!

Something is happening out there

Something is happening out there

Something is happening out there

Something is happening out there.

Well, it's a tick from me. 🥰

I have been in talks with Elon Musk. He is prepared to donate $100M to Reform, but only if I stab Nigel in the back. Can someone hand me a knife, please?

I have written to the culture secretary about all your accounts. While I'm trying to comfort Nigel with Trump jilting him, you've been talking aim at Lee. Somme of you have gone totally over the top, with posts entrenched in mockery.

This is serious. It looks like ReformUK will have to pre-order 2029.

I am delighted to announce that planning has been approved and construction on my new constituency offices will start in the new year.

A staggering fact has been brought to my attention, by one of my constituents. She claimed her child was being taught Arabic numerals in maths class, and I've found this is not an isolated case. I have written to the education secretary, demanding only the British 1 to 10 are used in our schools.

I am sick of the woke MSM continually ignoring ReformUK's supremecy. The repeated kicking of a non-reform member is of no significance and these campaigners are being sexist in trying to weaponise James McMurdock's girlfriend's gender. news.sky.com/story/domest...

I regret to say, this post has sparked bullying against me within the party. I asked @leeandersonmp.bsky.social if he knew what piercing Nigel had and he bluntly replied "PA". I asked him to just tell me rather than referring me to Nigel's personal assistant, but Lee just called me a bellend.

Bugger! I've only just realised I forgot to make that one some how about migrants.

In my race-baiting agenda, I've discovered a staggering 76% of people in the UK are rich. How many of these rich people arrived in boats, and are being housed in luxurious hotels, while picking the tax payer's pocket? I've written to Michelle Mone to find out if this refers to her and her friends.

This is just unacceptable. These woke milks are coming over here illegally. The worst part is we don't even have a lactose minister for me to write to. I have written to Kier Starmer and requested he appoints one immediately.

I could not agree more with Errol Musk. There aren't enough stupid people in the UK to put Reform in power. But with Elon Musk's money, we can campaign aggressively, offer bribes and use underhand techniques to bypass democracy. www.politics.co.uk/news/2024/12...

STATEMENT Controversy has spread due to the Reform Party's decision to limit Ben Habib's reach within the party, and his subsequent voluntary disinvolvement. Reform has a strict vetting process for anyone seeking in any way to represent the party. Sadly, Mr Habib did not meet our criteria.

No money changed hands. It was a bank transfer.

Speculation has arisen to the situation ReformUK will be in if we lose Lee Anderson and are reduced to 4 members. I can reveal that negotiations are currently underway - Nigel is offering Lee another suitcase of cash to stay on.

On the issue of assisted dying, I held a 'referendum' with my constituents so that I could vote the way the majority would wish. My right wing friends think I've lost my marbles giving democracy a try, and Nigel is threatening to throw me out of the party for my Marxist views

I thought I'd post about my constituency for a change. This is the sign we have, telling visitors that Great Yarmouth is called Great Yarmouth.

I have asked the Home Office to establish an official scheme through which MPs can house an 'irregular' migrant in their own home. Some cheeky fucker ring me back and asked me how many I can home. I told them to fuck off, even if it was all my idea.