are people still protesting asylum hotels or has that died down since it got a bit cold?

Just played Golden to 40 six-year-olds at a birthday party and honestly ... good god ... Ku Club in the 1990s has nothing on that.

Could we stop being quite so silly about this? Compensatory damages depend on evidence of actual harm and Florida caps punitive damages at $500,000.

pee tape seems fairly mild now

oh for fucking fuck's sake

You're never too old. Joyce started writing tweets at 74 she now owns the most expensive person in the world. 🌈

Can't believe John Lewis has turned my tweet into a Christmas ad.

[fires up the editorial machine] With this result, the people of the United States of America have shown that they don't know what the fuck they want. They are, as a nation, incapable of rational choice. Most of them can't even drive manual, which they call stick because manual sounds a bit Hispanic

Reminded that Warner Bros, owner of Friends, is suing Midjourney for copyright infringement and wants up to $150,000 in damages per infringed work.

Honestly not sure if this display at the Barras, Glasgow, is for Halloween or just the regular aesthetic.

Many years ago I was hanging around outside the White House, press badged, and a Swedish tour group asked why there were construction panels on the front lawn. I said they put up screens because Bill Clinton likes to trampoline nude from the waist down so, if that turns up in a biography, it was me.

Every French married couple.

Also:

But Prince Andrew can launch a Melee Weapon Attack +5 damage on Viscount Severn if he rolls greater than nine

Slowly but surely, the market is moving towards my food delivery model: a transit van full of ping meals and a microwave.

toughest game of Guess Who? ever

Dunno. I've read a lot over the years about a culture of moderation and harm reduction among the young and middle aged and very little about how four pints in a pub now cost the same as six rails of coke.

When the Jony Ive thing was first announced, the most optimistic available take was, "he won't just make an always-on ambient Microsoft Clippy with the form factor of a paperweight, he's a design genius" and six months later, here we are

America has surprisingly little gun crime.

Genuinely a bit sad to be reminded of Paul Merton, a guy who had a spark but slid into comfortable work and let himself rot from inside out, a genX memento mori

Not sure I've ever witnessed a news cycle so incomprehensible and inconsequential as Elon Musk's Royal Society membership.

I've been watching a lot of AI video recently. No matter the generator they all have the same milky movements and weightless, frictionless, otiose zombification. They're dead media and I think, once the novelty burns out, they'll be as culturally enduring as Magic Eye stereograms.

The most Brexit thing a person can do is sing "Home of The Picky Bits / Home of The Picky Bits / Three for Eight Pound" to the tune of God Save The Queen.

Just once, I'd like someone to buy me a field so I could look at donkeys.

This is a lovely, unexpected obit for Keith McIvor. www.theguardian.com/music/2025/s...

Not wholly surprising that he's never met a scientist.

Their only way out of madness is to do the same monologue. Every word, pause, beat is identical. It was a mediocre bit the first time around but they now have an opportunity to make it art.

"I spat coffee all over the screen", no but you didn't, please don't involve me in your disgusting little fantasies.

It honestly surprises me that we're in such a tiz about immigration when the common enemy is obviously Royal Mail parcel tracking

First Kirk, now Kimmel. What a month it's been for people I was only vaguely aware of by clicking on links by accident.

For the rest of your life, you're only allowed to eat food from one of these regions. Which would you choose?

Today I turned "don't recognise a Coachella headliner" years old.

Look at this menu, it's like the fox/chicken/grain thing but with pie and mash.

The Flag People are in town. They all seem so unhappy. Not angry, just radiating misery.

This post, from 2017, is a scared text. medium.com/@DaleBeran/4...

Weird how the "video games promote gun violence" debate went away just before it became relevant

This button has saved my life this week more times than I care to remember

No one watches football as a neutral, so it's daft to enforce neutrality on commentators. Whether it's a World Cup final or a game on Hackney Marshes that they're watching on from the top deck of a moving bus, it's basically impossible for a person to not form a view on which side they want to lose.

LONDON'S BEST AIRPORT IS SOUTHAMPTON, APHEX TWIN'S NOT THAT GOOD AND ALL FOOD IS BRITISH EXCEPT MEXICAN WHICH IS SPANISH, COME AT ME

never tweet

# Team Seagull.

1. 99 Luftballons 2. 99 Luftballons 3. 99 Luftballons 4. 99 Luftballons 5. 99 Luftballons 6. 99 Luftballons 7. 99 Luftballons 8. 99 Luftballons 9. 99 Luftballons 10. 99 Luftballons 11. 99 Luftballons 12. 99 Luftballons 13. 99 Luftballons 14. 99 Luftballons 15. 99 Luftballons (Andrew Huang) 16. 99 Lu

Endo at the Rotunda's still on fire. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Every time this comes around I check just in case I wrote a book then forgot. Still no.

Why did I do this?

Hypothetically, if a parent puts part-ownership of a house in their 17yo child's trustee account, can they reclaim a second-home stamp duty surcharge within the standard one-year grace period when the child turns 18? Because to me, a local imbecile, that's how the law reads.

this website will die of boredom

Sources telling me he fell down the stairs and made a noise on every step like when you pour out a can of tomatoes