( I suppose this isn't really a holiday I'm able to celebrate... still, it'd feel strange not to do *something*. ... what would I have done, under normal circumstances... ? )

[ staring blankly at the valentines decorations strewn across the cafeteria. ]

Ah— please, do not trouble yourself over it. I... ... It's alright. Things happen for a reason, no?

[ she's been practicing her smile in a mirror for the last hour. ]

Maître. [ she sighs. ] I hesitate to have you shoulder the burdens I've placed upon myself. But since you're so persistent, I'll abide by your wishes. ... I was alone. Nobody came back for me, so I was alone. Even when I prayed, I could not help but feel... abandoned. Désolé.

Mmh. I'd rather not place the burden on others, as it were. After all, this... all of this was my own doing. I've no right to complain, either.

/ I don't have drafts on my app yet..... how will my #good #posts marinate now

/ does Dante know he still has to text me back :/ :/ :/

/ lancer Jeanne discovers video games, gets really into them and shifts back into ruler class as metatron. just trust me bro

It can't continue like this. I cannot waver any longer.

....You know as well as I do that it won't do anyone any good. I'm enough of a burden as I am. Though I suppose this class change is less taxing for you to manage. That's good.

... I'll do my best as always, Maître.

/ every time i log into this acct I just think "good job on getting this username, me" like how did i manage that lol

Ah—! Maître! You surprised me. Has everyone become stealthier in my absence? Or perhaps I'm daydreaming too much? ... anyways, I don't believe my input is of any interest. Whatever may be, will be.

Is it? I suppose that makes sense. It's best to keep working towards our goals, after all. ... wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt, if we can help it.

....I was separated from everyone. During the move. That's all.

[ she continues to mutter to herself. ] ...I'm not sure I've experienced...something like this before...

I don't want to talk about it.

( though, I'm unsure if everyone acting as if I wasn't left behind sits right with me. )

it is quite rude to discuss one behind their back. surely you're at least avoiding unkind topics?

The fact you still accept me as I am is all I could ask. I...am not as powerful as I once was, but I will do my best as always. [ she can tell it's bothering him. her chest tightens as the guilt bubbles back up, and all she can do is try to keep smiling. ]

[ a sad smile. ] It won't do you any good, Maître. But rest assured, I'm still myself, despite my new appearance.

oui. so sorry our reunion is under less than ideal circumstances. .... please, don't worry about me.

( I'm surprised... she's quite giddy about my return. I would have assumed the opposite. )

/ im fake and haven't started samrem yet but i really wanted to write someone more subdued personality wise. I say this but lancer jeanne is regular jeanne with depression. She just won't be doing bake sales and is probably less oblivious. You know. Because of the horrors

....

ah, well... it's a bit of a long story. ....désolé, Maître. I don't wish to think about it right now.

I've been... preoccupied.

.... hm...

『 i'll adore you， as a drowned person does the sea. 』