LARPing as a cuck chair but i am both the cuck and the chair

Me: I will always give props to an artist for trying something new even if I feel it doesn’t work Also me, going through new music releases:

imagine enjoying your job lol

Where is the lie

Highs of 31 °C forecast next week pls no

Booked half a day off work because I couldn’t be bothered making the time back but looks like I’ll need to make an hour back anyway lol

Is it carbon monoxide

The toilet cubicle I’m in has a bunch of bogeys smeared across the wall, how’s your Monday going?

i created this meme like 4 years ago on twitter and it went super viral and i think i got like 20 death threats. that's how you know i was cooking with this one

I know I’m a chud for posting this but please don’t go out of your way to like a dozen different posts on someone’s profile, it’s annoying as fuck

Good morning to the 5 foot gammon who’d rather stand at the front of the bus than scale a flight of stairs to sit on the empty upper deck, hope you’re in good health x

We live in a world where the first trillionaire paid people to play video games for him so we’d think he was cool lol

The asexual and autistic parts of my brain teaming up to ensure I can never act out my sexual fantasies irl

Hey bluesky remind me to charge my headphones when I get home

This may come as a surprise to some, but I tend to play video games that I find fun

Join my group chat where we post memes but it's on bluesky where images aren't supported so you just have to describe them poorly with alt text instead

Fuck off LinkedIn i don't want to play your shitty puzzle games

It’s a shame the phrase “So long have you been in the fandom?” has become a red flag for a scam

I dunno wtf was in my salad but I’ve been mentally switched off since lunch

Is hating Nintendo a personality?

Legend of Zelda: Big Head Mode

NINTENDO PORTING A 7 YEAR OLD GAME LETS GOOOOO

Shoutout to people who make a single thread for Nintendo announcements, we love you

📦 “We have your parcel. We don’t know when we’ll deliver it. At some point in the next 2 weeks” 🦦 “Can you at least give me a date?” 📦 “No” … 📦 “We sent you a single email at 9am to say your parcel will be delivered at 1pm today, why didn’t you answer the door? >:c”

Shoutout to the group chat rando warning of the incoming Nintendo Direct today, about to witness my Bsky feed become an incomprehensible mess in real time 🙏

We don’t usually see each others’ headers, but you could click on my profile if you wanted to

Good morning world I am back at work after defeating The Lurg and long for the weekend

Woke up at 10 to 6 by my neighbour choking on weed 🥳

Why does Valor Mortis have to be a Souls-like 😔

That has to be some of the worst voice acting I’ve ever heard but at least we’re finally getting a Code Veronica remake :’)

Me this morning at 6am, having just called into work sick, blowing my nose and slurping on a Soother while waiting for my Lemsip to cool down: 🧠 "god i really wish somebody would sit on my face rn"

Face down, ass up That's the way we like to HYUCK

Woofs

I can’t remember the last time our office of 8 people didn’t have someone with a cold or off sick Anyway, despite my best efforts it seems it is now my turn to hold the Lurgy Baton 😷

I adore Escape from Tarkov but "invisible and indestructible claymores which one-shot you" has to be one of the most awful game design decisions I have ever seen

Just been backseated by a stranger on how to scan a QR code because apparently my ineptitude was just that palpable

I have an irrational dislike towards a particular group chatter because all they do is post furry porn they find on Twitter without a source They refuse to post any links because they’re “too lazy” :’)

IMPORTANT ‼️ You can now vote for which British wildlife will appear on the next series of banknotes www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/he...

this pride month let dads be fat lads

i’m at a bit of an impasse with this because i could drop some suggestions but then i’d have to deal with hr and frankly they’re unbearable i also fear it’d play into the corporate bs which is already pissing a lot of people off rn i want it to be sincere, not a flex for linkedin

Sincere post time ❗️ Happy Pride! 🌈 I find it difficult to be proud of who I am sometimes. Asexuality can be confusing and frustrating. But hey, I felt the same about being gay and I’m cool with that now. Maybe it’ll all make sense one day and maybe it won’t. All I know is I am me and I am ott 🦦♠️

this year’s theme for pride month is “vore otters”

maybe one year my company will do something for pride month but i guess 2026 ain’t it

putting a rainbow emoji in the weekly meeting agenda because i exude powerful homosexual energy

June 1st

my very gay work lanyard broke last week and i forgot to buy a new one, worst pride month ever :’(

breakfast at yiffany’s

beyond gutted to discover The Strokes are touring when they’ve already sold out 😭