Take care of the braincells you have left.

It's sarcasm, so no.

Our members are out there getting us excellent press as always, it seems.

That is disgusting. Thank you.

I don't care about what-ifs, I care about being stuck in damp socks the rest of the day.

My next ones will be dratini skin.

Stepped in a puddle. My loafers are absolutely ruined. Wonderful start to the day.

I'll remember this when your golbat needs braces or something equally as stupid.

You're insufferable. This is humiliating.

Then you've taken one too many close combats to the head.

And Will figures into this, how?

I can't even begin to fathom what you could mean by this.

The singular good thing about Will is he pisses off his own people as much as he does mine.

𝐈𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐍𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐚. Member of Johto's Elite 4. MDNI.

The end of winter is welcome, but my fire types aren't fond of all the rain.

Those dreams again...

//WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS A NEW GIOVANNI AND THEY HAD A CRASH OUT AND LEFT AND I MISSED IT ALL NOOOO

How bold of you. Are you feeling lucky?

Please excuse my absence. I will not be explaining it.

From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.

Who left this in the break room fridge. You're disgusting.

Mm. I needed that.

Thank you. [He's going back to staring lovingly at his pokemon now.]

[Lazy look of disdain. It lacks any of Archer's normal sharpness.] 𝘖𝘣𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 two are for them. What a question. They can't eat air, Proton.

[It's a sign of how relaxed the stuff's got Archer that he barely even blinks at the treatment.] Have someone send dinner. Three dinners.

Hm...... no. [He really looked like he was thinking about it for a minute, though.]

Tall. Handsome. Good at stabbing things.

I do what I say I'm going to do. Don't question me.

Don't.

[Ahh, a breeze. How refreshing. Archer's problems are solved.] You're a good man, Proton. A good man and a smart man.

[This just in: fire types are hot. Not even gonna say anything.]

Good. Perfect. Wonderful.

I have no idea what part I'm not being clear about. Don't let her hit you.

Touchy. ...tell Matori not to hit you.

Slap Proton.

Don't tell me no. Now be a good boy and listen before Mommy gets mad.

Off.

Yes.

Hm. I can't feel my legs.

Do I sound "okay", Matori?

I'm stuck.

[Cartoon thought bubble of Archer stepping on tiny grunts like they're ants.]

Kill them

Aye aye. Enjoy your drugs.

Fine. You can keep the bottle. I have more.

If I give you some you'll be too relaxed to do anything.

-:- 500 FOLLOWER RAFFLE!! Info in the image / alt text below! Winners will be chosen at random!

How very sweet of you.

This week has been a mess. I'm getting high and staring at the ceiling for the rest of the day. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.