A cow who is too cool for school Employing a stick as a tool To scratch her behind Suggests, experts find, Veronika's nobody's fool. www.theguardian.com/science/2026...

The fellow in charge in Caracas Was kidnapped by Trump in a fracas, A criminal act Designed to distract From problems besieging the jackass.

A royal now banished to Sandringham, Who said other people were slandringham, Is now an ex-Prince Who failed to convince King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.

Oh the Grand Old Duke of York He had twelve million quid He gave it to someone he never met For something he never did

A royal accustomed to splendour Was told he would have to surrender The title of Duke By way of rebuke For being a paedo-befriender. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

A list by a prominent paedo Of others who shared his libido, Which his former best Buddy hyped, then suppressed, Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo. www.bbc.com/news/article...

The clerics of Bangor in Wales Collectively went off the rails, The spirit within These priests being gin, Prosecco and copious ales. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Two buddies shared love man to man, As much as two straight fellows can, But Musk's in a K-Hole And Trump is an a-hole So now the shit's hitting the fan.

A fellow named Johan from Norway, Who lived rather close to the shoreway, Declared: "Beg your pardon, Your ship's in my garden, And damn near got stuck in my doorway!" www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

A fellow named Johan from Norway, Who lived rather close to the shoreway, Declared: "Beg your pardon, Your ship's in my garden, And damn near got stuck in my doorway!" www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

West African chimps in the mist Apparently cannot resist A fruit that's fermented - What makes them contented Is sitting around getting pissed. www.theguardian.com/science/2025...

A livestreamed fertility chase Has top seeds competing for pace: Which spermatazoa Swim faster or slower - It's who not comes first in this race. (Thanks to @johnthejack www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£) timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...

A Maga merch seller from China Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor: His fans won't think twice, Whatever the price, They'll pay it in South Carolina.

The faraway islands of Heard, To whom Trump's announcement referred, Face tariffs, they say, Because one fine day A penguin flipped Donald the bird. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

A force meant to tackle lawbreakers Considers extreme troublemakers Those secret consumers Of breadsticks and hummus, The dastardly Westminster Quakers. www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...

A high-up Republican chap Mis-shared on a messaging app; Despite Trump and Waltz Dismissing his faults, The dogs in the street know that's crap. www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...

Word ↔ Puzzles conference was AMAZING! Great cryptic and literary crowd, top speakers inc. @johnfinnemore.bsky.social @susiedent.com @alanconnor.bsky.social @djbduncan.bsky.social @ecclescrosswords.bsky.social and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336

The "Business as Usual" sign didn't help.

Faecal Attraction

A theme park announced with some pride Its new toxic effluent ride; Alas the attraction Was put out of action When actual sewage was spied. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Are Trump, and his Maga alliance, Excessively placing reliance On Elon, whose pockets Are deep, but whose spaceships Explode? Well, it's not rocket science! www.bbc.com/news/article...

There was an old bully named Trump, Who got in a terrible grump, When Mr Zelensky Caused major offensky By simply not kissing his rump. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

A funeral parlour in China Is everyone's favourite diner As oodles and oodles Of folks taste their noodles And swear there's no restaurant finer. www.bbc.com/news/article...

America opened discussions On war in Ukraine with the Russians; While Marco says howdy To Sergei in Saudi, Volodymyr fears repercussions. www.bbc.com/news/article...

The member for Gorton and Denton Was sacked over messages sent on WhatsApp that were snide, Career suicide Apparently what he was bent on. www.bbc.com/news/article...

A woman whose man had departed Did not sit around brokenhearted; Instead what she did Is WhatsApp a vid Or two of her bum as she farted. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Rot in a jar of edam I made for a janitor. #palindrome

A man of unstable opinions Wants Gaza to join his dominions With no Gazans in it; He might take a minute To sound out a few Palestinians.

A fellow of doge-y repute Who's Trump's newest tech bro recruit, The flashest and rashest, Came out as a fascist By giving a Nazi salute.

Delusional President Trump Was rescued by God on the stump, Or so he declares, As billionaires Pay homage by kissing his rump.

FALL OF MAN (Anagram-Snowball) A., as sad, said ideas raised despair. Paradise, appraised, disappears.

Sporting, I'm afraid to be blunt, means enjoying the Boxing Day hunt for Nigel Farage, so Musk's sabotage seems a fitting publicity stunt.

The plutocrat Nigel was courting, Despite all his lies and distorting, Went on to disparage His minion Farage, Which doesn't seem terribly sporting. www.bbc.com/news/article...

The body in charge of world chess Decided it must acquiesce; The wearing of jeans, It says, contravenes No rule - but please dress to impress. www.bbc.com/news/article...

From my third book, THE ROBOTS OF BABYLON: penteractpress.com/store/the-ro...

In Syria, Bashar Assad Killed even more folks than his dad, But every dictator Falls sooner or later So now he's gone running to Vlad.

There was an old fellow from Seoul Who got himself into a heoul; He called martial law Then had to withdraw, Undoing a major own geoul. www.theguardian.com/world/2024/d...

According to dinosaur poo And fossilised samples of spew, They owed their position To proper nutrition, So come on kids, finish your stew! www.reuters.com/science/fece...

There was an old fellow named Mick, A topical verse was his shtick, But as dear old Twitter Got ever more bitter He jumped to Bluesky double-quick.