call me ishmael the way I'm AHAB

I'm tired of having friends with benefits, anyone want to be my friend with detriments instead? you can be friendly with me but it comes at A Cost

if anything, playing a gacha game has actually made me less susceptible to developing a gambling addiction because I'm keenly aware of how my body has reacted to saving my pulls for months at this point in anticipation of rolling the uma I want

2XKO being hit with massive layoffs is kinda surprising to me because honestly I didn't even know 2XKO had officially come out yet

if a trans person ever asks for your help with doing their injections, that's like an angel descending from the heavens and asking you to preen the feathers on their wings. proceed accordingly.

me when I'm a dominatrix and a baker: "aww are you gonna crumb for me baby?"

I've got that algorithm dialed in

I'm not the first to note on it but I often think about how skyrim has like 70 marriage candidate characters but no romance system. maybe half the candidates have more than 10 unique lines. I literally can't understand why they made it like that

I gotta get more shoujo girlie friends because nobody in my social circle seems to understand how I'm basically vibrating at the news of firefly wedding getting an adaptation

happy to ring in the new year with my extremely reasonable and grounded resolutions list

"they're coming out with new kinds of guys every day" -person who understands transmasculinity but doesn't know how to word it

I like being a stealth southerner because people act like I'm normal and then I get to hit them with the "y'ain't" out of nowhere and they never see it coming

I gotta talk to whoever designed sesame oil bottles like why do I have to smack the bottom of it so that it shoots out little jets of oil onto my pan everything already reminds me of her, can't I have a little peace while I'm cooking

guys, silksong was the multi-year ARG the thing that released today is technically Silksong's Monster

my wolf friend asked if I knew any local haircut places that do good work and I sent her a link to a pet groomer

you can have a yuri relationship with a man if you try hard enough

please god let this happen it would be so fucking funny

I can't believe the Uma fandom calls the Mihono Bourbon x Rice Shower ship just Mihorice and not Soju, literally rice bourbon are we fucking stupid?

you know they say that great art comes from suffering so maybe you should stop whining so loudly when I jam splinters under your fingernails and start thanking me instead

I think to retain your moral purity you have to be a little perverted with it

they should make weedless brownies I think those would go pretty hard

played some umamusume on my lunch break in the office and I had to hide my visible excitement when my girl won a race she was eigth favored in

I got baited into trying The Horse Game because one of the SSR girls has my favorite JP voice actress and then I pulled her almost immediately

I meant to say to tell my roomie that "my tits are huge and my heart is full of whimsey" but instead I said "my heart is huge and my tits are full of whimsey"

what are y'all bringing to the frotluck

now that the department of defense is contracting open ai I'd like to circle back and double down that I am absolutely morally superior to anyone who ever fed the Little Satan even if you did it for a joke

someone in a VC asked if I needed anything and I answered on near instinct "three thousand dollars in cash and a footjob"

decided to give battlefront 2 another chance since it's super popular again out of nowhere and I shit you not back to back games I got a blatant cheater so good to know some things never change

I forgot about this post but it happened btw

the other day I overheard my 17 year old coworker talking about he feeds information to GPT to guide him on sports betting we are cooked in ways that were previously unfathomable

look at me. you. yes you. look at me. you dont need gen ai. fuck gen ai. im the only ai u need.

We’ll be ranking every type of Monster Girl this Saturday @ 6PM (CST) on the purple site. Featuring guests @scaledseraphvt.bsky.social @awildkitsune.bsky.social as well as SilversMagic and BlooTheSlime

my desperate need for validation is one day gonna lead to me saying "chat did you see how sick that was" while in the bedroom

bsky keeps pushing tweets from parents talking about how amazing it is to have a child and I just gotta say to whatever algorithmic force is trying to convince me to have kids that I am already trying to get pregnant as best I can you don't have to keep sending me posts to encourage me

my roomies keep trying to shame me for playing a gacha game as if I don't know what I am doing like yes I am getting plenty wet from this water I am in thank you for commenting on it

I shook hands with god once and she had one of those joke shock buzzers hidden in the palm of her hand

just an endless source of comedy, these two

this is what you're missing when you're not watching my Cyberpunk streams btw

found a new girl to make into a reasonable transition goal in terms of her style but a friend pointed out that she dresses like a 2015s tumblr grunge lesbian and now I don't know if I could ever wear clothes like that ever again without thinking about it

if I saw a picture of a lizard every 59 minutes, I would live forever

"Bocchi the Rock!" Season 2 announced. Teaser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z5nOlwq9XU Director: Yuusuke Yamamoto Script: Erika Yoshida Character Design: Kerorira/Keito Oda Production: CloverWorks https://anilist.co/anime/186712/Bocchi-the-Rock-2nd-Season/ - #ぼっち・ざ・ろっく

e-training is when you teach your puppygirl new tricks by using her estrogen tablets as positive reinforcement treats puppy doesn't get her morning dose until she shakes paw properly ^-^

I'm so not fucking kidding I am going to just go ahead and block anyone I see post a genAI pic. I can't do art for shit and I do in fact think that I am morally superior to anyone who feeds the Little Satan

I rapidly flip between being the gayest straight my friends know to the straightest gay because I'm God's most perfect little bisexual child and I'll be damned before they pin me down

stream time!! I got peer pressured into finally giving Cyberpunk: 2077 a try so we're finally going to start that today! be there! www.twitch.tv/scaledseraphvt

Seraphim jacket (black and red) 👁️👁️👁️ Reposts appreciated

vore your enemies RETWEET!

I think the number one thing stopping me from trying to learn how to sketch is that I would become infinitely more cringe if I could draw. y'all have no idea what lurks in my mind, safe from reality purely on account of not having a conduit. I'm doing you all a favor.

Fullmetal Frieren 📢

my toxic trait is that I'm the most annoying person you know but you're not allowed to be mean to me at all