Epic; no notes

Starmer, on Monday: we will bring about patriotic renewal by going harder and faster than ICE. Labour will terrorise and illegally deport everyone of colour and everyone who doesn’t fantasise about the flag

How does one become the sort of person who sources books by the yard to furnish the libraries of rich people without the taste to fill their own shelves? Asking for a friend

He’s right. Unfortunately it seems increasingly likely that he’s joined it on the side of Reform.

Digital ID but only for the British Library membership desk, bish bash bosh

"Fuck's sake, this one's worse"

list 3 things you can talk about for 3 hours with no prep 1. Virginia Woolf 2. Leonard Woolf's wife 3. Adeline Virginia Stephen

Colbert [running into the agora clutching a skinned chicken by the legs]: HUMAN!!! Kimmel [jumps into Mt Etna to prove a point]: ouch

Consider a simple analogy. Imagine that we are back in Ur. You are Nanni, a trader who has sent your messenger to buy fine quality copper ingots. However, Eā-Nasir has put before your messenger copper-identified metal with blue hair and pronouns

Cool beans, does this mean you're going to do something to ensure there's a HE sector left for them to migrate into or

it would be easier to write this paper if i had the brain space to concentrate in more than ten-minute random bursts.

Because the hallucinations weren’t vivid enough

The internet was better when it came down your phone line.

Doesn’t matter cos they’re there to start businesses and become Founders™️ per the diktat of our glorious leaders

This is suboptimal. Real galaxy-brain thinking is to create a Cabinet full of AI pols without labelling them as such, then loose them on the world. Look how far it got Labour.

Further evidence that AHRC has gone "lol byeeeee ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"

It's hard to focus on the scraps of work the top table have thrown you when you're a) otherwise unemployed, b) unemployable outside of a very niche subfield in an industry that has been thrown to the wolves for political expediency, and c) are facing up to having wasted the past decade of your life.

Head of ‘That one fact about Prue Leith you trot out every time there’s an ad for the Bake Off’

We interrupt your doomscrolling to bring you a newsflash:

I’ll admit to being a bit bewildered by the positive responses to his statement here. It’s about the most mealy-mouthed, non-committal filler imaginable, a day too late. Really, it’s little more than form-over-content marketing.

Fun fact, Starmer’s statement just now was actually his rapid response to the 2024 race riots.

*Leonard Woolf is typing…*

Can't believe it's been thirteen years since Danny Dyer couldn't believe it had been eleven years since them slags smashed into the twin towers and it still freaked out his nut til that day, it still freaks my nut out to this day.

he actually gets $1,000,000 richer every time updating java runtime environment fails

He could have played Final Fantasy 10. He could have got really frustrated at compulsory Blitzball!

The Year’s Most Meh Weird Fiction

yes… ha ha ha… YES the secret plan is WORKING

Slightly diminish a book Orlando, FL

Akira Kurosawa’s Madame Web.

At this stage they're more likely to announce funds for researching ways to terrorise and/or deport immigrants using AI, lbr

New criteria: 1. To get top ranks, universities must employ a Josh to turn squiggles into angle brackets 2. Said Josh must be kept in appropriate standards, viz: a) free lunch b) access to a good coffee machine 3. Said Josh must also be told he is doing a good job because his ego is very fragile rn

When my editor asks where the draft is

Do I know anyone/have any mutuals who’ve successfully applied for an ERC Starting Grant in anything vaguely literary or DH-related?

I give it six weeks until he tries to nuke Calais.

For which, read: university reform is complex and we are not willing to take it out of the box marked Difficult 📦

All expenses paid trip to the Bahamas for the journo who asks “Isn’t having your back to the flag an insult?” and in so doing bullies him into replacing his TV with a George’s Cross

Delighted to announce that I’m taking an exciting new career step and am now unemployed.

I know it’s just a job and the institution won’t love you back, etc. but this is the first job I’ve had since leaving school that hasn’t been so toxic as to leave me burnt out within weeks.

fäther fäther I had the dream again the last time my slumber was disturbed in such a way was a thousand years ago I fear It is coming once more, fäther

A secret third thing (Billie should buy me gadgets instead. Especially a rice cooker, those things can be crazy expensive) www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Ruin a book by adding Tom Clancy’s to the title: Tom Clancy’s Gender Trouble

Ruin a book by adding Tom Clancy’s to the title: Tom Clancy’s Hundred Years of Solitude

Let the potato rest xox

Amazing new digital scholarly edition of Virginia Woolf's ‘Anon’ and ‘The Reader’, the drafts of a history of English literature that she left unfinished at her death. #scholarlyediting #woolf #manuscripts

The digital edition He destroyed his cage Yes YES The digital edition is out www.digital-anon.com

Flag-shaggers have hit up Ock Street in Abingdon. Or tried to, at least: there are four minute flags tucked into zip ties at the top of very tall but otherwise ordinary lampposts, so it just looks a bit tragic.

Wait, which one’s the English teacher send skeet

Hearing reports Keir Starmer had banned Neolithic cave paintings.