Posted about this on main, mirroring here for...whoever. Long story short: I have been at an emotional rock bottom for the last six months and there have been more than enough signals emphasizing to me that I am little more than my projects and work.

finally have a feel good orgasm after like a week or two, bit weird having a libido again oh wait i kinda feel like shit, not emotionally but like physically so i'm probably sick, huh

imagine riding a plug and cumming but without the feel-good orgasm that would hit. this depression fucking sucks.

Been dealing with a couple things mentally and that's resulted in my libido basically just going up in smoke. Horny art isn't doing anything for me (still nice to look at), plugging up just feels like I'm just putting it in me for the sake of it. this fucking sucks.

proud of my hubby for taking some toys like a champ tonight

"you are not immune to propaganda" but replace garfield with scolipede giving you "the look"

me, scrambling around, shoving this picture of my partner in everyone's face, actively foaming at the mouth like some kind of rabid animal

talking big dildos with my partner for a moment and i'm reminiscing about the one year at fwa with an absolutely massive dildo only to see it gone the next day only to see it in the possession lf @kravenlupei.bsky.social

new banner because my partner instilled cursed knowledge onto me

Pumped to 41.5cm after a hiatus. Caused my husband future pain by putting him into a breeding press. Hff.

Turns out the LA Pump small cup seal is perfect for my custom cup! That and some position adjustment means we can put it to use for much longer.

Made another tube for my partner, this one better shaped so we can focus on the labia. Seems to be working like we'd hoped...

trying to hold a 130mm circumference buttplug in me for longer than a minute ama

What if I told you we can make it... BIGGER...

partner's past hour 1 of pumping with this new cup time for hour 2...

third attempt at the cup and it failed...successfully???

the custom cup i designed failed in a way i didn't expect, and that's fine, working to resolve that in a next version. it appears to cover the area which is great. it also made me want to just shove my face right in between my partner's legs. i might be more scent-driven than i realize.

the buddy system! an inline thing for attaching other vac lines

there's "horny", and then there's "enabled by your partner". one makes me want to jerk off or have sex. the other gets me into a snarly beast that wants nothing more but to outright powerfuck my husband. typically this happens when i pump. y'all. i -need- to get home, like. now. right now.

me, away from home for a week, putting on the lobster bib before i go to town on my husband

bought a new plug, a 130mm one which somehow...fits better than one of the other 130mm ones I have and holy moly

no nut november, more like noteworthy nuts november i should see if I can coax myself to pump every single night this month

Chat we may've hit 43cm tonight, definitely past 42 at least

found an appropriate profile banner hell yeah

Two hours!

Oof, and there's the dry skin on my sac. Here's hoping this ends up just being a small thing, since I'd like to pump this weekend and see if I can recreate the experience.

Debating when to pump again. Tempted to try for another big session tomorrow, assuming that the Pedialyte actually did anything.

pinning this as a reminder to myself on what my current record is

Morning update: lost a fair bit of size, most likely due to the fact that I can't wear my silicone band to bed. Next time I'll start earlier, see if I get the same/similar growth under similar conditions.

Downside to sugared-up pedialyte: crashing hard after getting all snarly on top of my partner we managed to make it fit at least, somehow

Some notes: * Drinking one Pedialyte prior to pumping and one Pedialyte during the first hour _may_ have had a major effect. * Need to test if just one before pumping has an effect. * Probably didn't need to work through a third one (that much sugar probably isn't good for me).

42cm circumference, hot damn. A lot of weight to jostle around.

SO CLOSE

Start of hour 4. Paused after the third hour for a hot rinse and some dick-only pumping. Also remembered to orient the gauge toward me this time. Real curious how this will end, this could possibly be the largest I've ever been judging by how I'm filling out the sides.

Alright, finally getting started in the tube. Drank a Pedialyte prior, and I have another bottle I'm slowly working through. Time to see what happens!

Woke up with an insane thought that I need to test today. Today is going to be a Pedialyte and pump day. Specifically Pedialyte since I want dextrose and not corn syrup.

Had a weird sensation yesterday after wearing the weight comfortably for a few hours I took it off to get dressed to check mail and I felt the odd sensation of my nuts touching lower on my thigh? So maybe it's working???

The jar was fine but I'm sticking with my original opinion here: a straight 3.5-4" tube is the perfect thing for ballpumping in. Only after you hit a limit in that tube (sac won't stretch any further) should you swap to another jar/tube to shape it.

Back in the jar for the next couple hours, basically until bed. Shooting for 4.5" pretty quickly here, we'll see how the discomfort goes.

So, interesting observation. Wearing the weight for an hour before pumping allowed me to get to 4" really quickly and...not notice the pull from the pump like normal? I bumped up to 4.5" and it was only then that I felt a mild discomfort, nowhere near how the first hour usually goes.

I got a new ball weight that's wider/heavier and while I need some of my silicone rings to make sure it doesn't fall off oh my GOD is it so much more comfy I can wear this all day

Current status: 90 minutes in straight tube, repeat. 30 minutes pumping dick. 60 minutes in ASTJ. 6/30 minutes pumping dick in a bigger tube. After this round of dick pumping, rinse, cocoa butter, more time in the ASTJ, then just kinda wing it from there.

Been putting on a weight to keep my balls stretched out throughout the week and so far it's been helping quite a bit. Now to pump and see if it results in any benefit. Also broke out the heating pad again.

For not having pumped in a while, genuinely surprised I got as big as I did in my straight tube. Now to try to maintain this, see if I can migrate to the ASTJ again.

pumping in michigan for the first time in 15 years

"this stupid expensive safety razor better be worth it" Y'ALL I SHAVED MY NUTS AND GROIN WITHOUT A SINGLE NICK

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I should work on a new iteration of the pump box. I have some profile ideas I want to introduce and I have a bit more know-how to do it now.

it's 2025 and so far one of the few good things is I've been pumping again