Imagine surviving a drug tampering crisis only to have your company destroyed by a gravely voiced brain worm.

I don’t really have an interest in being raptured. Leave me down here with the wretched.

I’m in the most unserious groupchat and @nottaylorallen.bsky.social is responsible for this.

Like … what do you mean you don’t have this thing, that should ABSOLUTELY be written down, written down?

My work requires me to be very detail oriented so when I work with people who aren’t (and I do this often) I want to crash out a little bit.

A man who met his girl in prison talking about “I didn’t sign up to be a prison husband” is a level of delusion I aspire to tbh.

I bought all the fall-scented candles today and my apartment smells delicious.

And I will sacrifice money for time more often than not.

Time is money and money is time.

Kah shut the crowd up real quick 😭

Nothing about that was intentional

One in which I objectify him.

After the playoffs can we have a conversation about girl dad?

Is THAT how you pronounce Mielle?!

At least I didn’t have to end my evening with that. It’s much more peaceful to watch games you have no investment in.

The shots aren’t falling - that happens. But getting consistently SMOKED on back door cuts is inexcusable.

Aces have no guards out there that can keep up with Kelsey.

I don’t think even Becky knows.

Um .. not this one

I know they’ve become a regular part of sports broadcasts but I HATE in-game interviews.

lmao who was A’ja talking to

I hope a different team comes out after the half.

AB throws that elbow often.

It took 8 minutes but they’re locking in now.

Aces pls.

Aces playing tight.

I told my sis the rapture is allegedly coming and she said “that’s none of my business.” I HATE her so much 😂

When you’re talking about the Greatest Players of All Time, don’t forget to mention A’ja Wilson. 🐐

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐍𝐄? 𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝑶𝑵𝑬 ✨ 👑 2020 👑 2022 👑 2024 👑 2025 A'ja Wilson is the first-ever player to win 4 M’VP's in WNBA history.

M'V4

A’ja Wilson has 4 MVP’s in 8 seasons. Also has 3 DPOY’s and 2 championships. All before the age of 30. Legendary stuff.

My lil football team is basura right now. I needed some good news.

2 + 2 = MUTHAFUCKIN M’V4 🐔🖤

Bitch WHAT? My uber eats habit is cheaper than this 😭

At the grocery store with no list. Let’s see how it goes!

I’m not going to let this team stress me out for the next 8 weeks.

Get this defense out of my face

Circling back to this.

LaNorris is COOKIN

When Dabo loses, we all win.

“We may have been beaten by the orangemen, but I feel secure knowing there’s an orange man watching over this country.”

Memphis backup QB just carried 30-50 feral hogs on his back for a game-winning first down

My grad school (not an SEC school) has more SEC wins than my undergrad (an SEC school). Go tigers 🐅

Okay Memphis!

Clemson D got more holes than the plot of a tubi movie.

🫡 to real bitches

Dutch late night TV has its take

🚨Virginia, today is the first day of early voting — which means it’s time to make your voice heard in this election. iwillvote.com/va

A'ja Wilson's third 30+pt/2+stl/2+blk playoff game. Only six others in league history, and no one else has more than one. #WNBA