Every once in a while I remember the Skip It was a thing and I think to myself "the fuck were we doing in the 90s?"

Nothing like losing your nuts to a toilet rat to really wake yourself up to the world outside. Did you know there's food out here? Seriously, it grows everywhere you can just pick it off the ground. Just bring yourself a shamwow to wipe off the bug bits and bird shits and it'll be fine

Oh no the worms what eat your sinew are eating my sinew, leaving me a limp bag of organs and bones!

Every morning I throw my head back and unhing my jaw so I can eat this unopened bottle of Poland Spring sideways like a pelican After that I force the word "chat" into a dozen sentences, almost always incorrectly

Bottom of the ocean is probably snug and comfortable tbh

Nothing like the ever present human urge to just wander into a dark, haunted forest and never return

Hey any good videos or books about just disappearing into the ether without a trace?

Happy birthday to me, I am now ,33

Rewatching First Class j This is....wow these effects didn't age well, but Fassbender is leaving a path of destruction in his wake. I mean this movie takes a noticeable dip in quality whenever Michael Fassbender isn't on screen Also I forgot they made Kevin Bacon do the cuban missile crisis

I had some garlic bread but the crust of my slightly-too-big piece of garlic bread was also too crusty and it ended up skinning the inside of my cheek so my night is pretty much ruined and I am once again absolutely demolished by my hubris

Watching Rogue One for the first time So....this is pretty much required viewing for Jedi Fallen Order/Survivor?

lol

I had what i think Is a really cool idea for a comic villain but I have nobody to nonpartially talk to about it so I it anyone wants to hear about my emo Mary Sue comic villain you should message me about it but no worries if you don't I totally don't expect anyone to care and that's totally fine

Being drunk sucks. This doesn't feel good. It hasn't for years.

[ironic post that's actually a thinly veiled cry for help]

Taking art commissions to help Minnesota ACLU. DM inquiries.

Hey any suggestions on how to make life even marginally less exhausting?

For No Reason in Particular Here’s a Bunch of Games Where You Kill Nazis

Loki, exists in Marvel Rivals: "I have zero interest in playing this character." They make Loki a girl: "shit im good at this character."

Idk if anyone else sees this but I sure as heck do Jesse Tyler Ferguson could pull off the theatricality and camp needed for Arcade. Plus the red hair helps. Please someone tell me I'm not crazy for seeing this I want this to happen so badly

My sister got this for me for Christmas. It just got here and it's the coolest fucking thing ever. God damn this is awesome. Holy shit.

Just a box

How many times can you call Natasha before you get a repeat? I'm at like 7 I think

Just beat revolver ocelot. Did kojima just put real footage of a rocket launch in this game?

I touched a possum last night

The guy playing at this bar just randomly busted out deep cut Zeppelin and I'm thrilled

“SELL IT TO WHO, BEN? FUCKING AQUAMAN??”

Freakier Friday is just nonstop memes

I have a structured settlement and I need Ass now

normalise saying "what the fuck is wrong with you'' to racists and homophobes over christmas dinner

DFW smells like jet fuel. Out of every airport I've been to in my 32 years of existence, this airport has smelled the most like jet fuel

Everyone from Texas sings the praises of Whataburger but this is just barely okay enough for me to not outright say it sucks

Whatamediocreburger

Whataburger sure is a presumptuous brand name

Every white man here clenches their jaw like Michael Rooker and it's really funny

DFW looks like an east coast community college

Why is Whataburger ice shaped like bullets

Merry Christmas

Quit spinning your gun ya douchebag

Okay I just got to the DARPA chief on my first playthrough of Metal Gear Solid. 1. This has been 60% cut scenes so far. 2. This is the most cinematic PS1 game I've seen and I kinda get the hype now. This would have been game changing in the 90s.

Merry Christmas To Me, MGS 1 through 3

Welp. Guess I'm due to reread this anyway.

Seth MacFarlane should be involved in the next Deadpool project

Remedy hire me i have the best idea ever: Remember Max Payne? Well you can do a gender swapped Mobile Game version About a character called Minerva Payne Max Payne & Minnie Payne, shits writes itself Fuck you, I'm funny

On today's episode of "Albums I blast at work" we have Exile In Oblivion Every time I hear this song I hear the fuzz self oscillation at the end and get giddy. Like I have that pedal, too, bro, I know that trick

That's not very *Theodore Roosevelt Voice* "Bully" of you, my good gentleman