I don’t like blueberries because they lack depth in a way that feels inauthentic to me. You’re just sweet? No bite, no teeth, no tartness, no emotion? Not buying it sorry

I think love island is a mind control operation akin to mk ultra and im literally only like 12% joking

watching the substance saying “how it feels to be me” “how they treat me” every 30 seconds

I’m at the age where I love me a good kaftan

People act so offended by my loud abrasive sneezing. What should I do hold it in and shit myself and pop one of my eyes out and have an aneurysm for your comfort

the feeling of the first bike ride/car ride w the windows down with freshly parted braids or twists….. never kys

just asked a man to please move his bag off the seat so I could sit down on a crowded bus full of white people and now they’re all looking at me like I’m g*d lowkey….Manners mogging

I have no pride bookings so I’m straight now

got off work early so I’m camped outside cozy corner waiting for them to open. I am not embarrassed though

Same bus driver picked me up twice in one day and said “and here I was beside myself thinking I’d never get the chance to see you again”

the crazy thing about truly locking in is that the more locked in u become the more u feel the need to lock in still further

sadly I’ve been laughing at this for 4 days :(

like why would it be 52 degrees

Sweating with a gothic novel in a hammock in old San Juan sacrificing myself lovingly to the mosquitoes 😌✨

I know this may make me sound batshit crazy but I didn’t understand what “lucid dreaming” was for the longest time because my entire life, for as long as I can remember, ALL my dreams have been lucid lol

The way my cat acts so personally offended when I sneeze like it’s not entirely her fault

reminiscing on the days before I was a stripper when getting my nails and hair done and my teeth whitened was like…… something fun to do

red 40

you have never met a bitch more anemic than me

ns but why do white people talk SO loud on the train. Like I swear we dgaf

few things more intimate than me inhaling a bag of hot fries on a completely empty train car after a dance class that kicked my ass

just saw undertone, easily the worst movie I’ve spent money on in the last 5 years

Customer came to see me last night and said “I had to come back to see if you were as hilarious as I remember or if I was just drunk” (I was as hilarious as he remembered)

😇🫶🏽

how I feel after #BrunchWithFriends

do u know how pissed I would be if I had to lip sync for my life and it was crazy frog

a drag king named logan square

you only get the opportunity to disappoint me once.

I know i think im the center of the universe but I swear to god you have never in your life met someone who sneezes as prolifically as me

damn I didn’t know timothee Chalamet was stupid

genuinely immobilized and incapacitated by my period 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

I swear to god when I’m on my period I eat like the very hungry caterpillar

just submitted to be on antiques roadshow. They may say no because I’m too sexy

impossible to find a simple good matte lipstick nowadays. Bc of woke

Cleaning my room so fiercely drinking so much water so much black coffee full moon in Leo af

How it feels to chew cinnamon gum

I’ve been costuming alllllll daaaaay

they’ll never put an alt baddie on love is blind

stoned af in west town and accidentally found myself at a mommy-and-me funeral rave fundraiser for a white couples dead dog

Dr Phil affff

thinking about this one time this guy was being so sexist and deliberately trying to neg me at work so I interrupted him and slid him a piece of gum and said “you really need this” and stood up and walked away

amazing how mentally healthy one feels after brunch with friends

One day we’re gonna need to talk about how a lot of the queer civilian community’s purported allyship/support of sex workers is actually voyeurism and fetishization. Not today but some day. Unless I have one more coffee then maybe today

wait my photo page is looking kinda fierce!!

me when I betray my Slick lineage :///

this is how sexy I am after 3 years of not drinking btw in case u need motivation 😌 Doctors hate her

this is like receiving absolution from the pope btw

Kinfolk was amazing - what a great drag show

Old hos to the front

It takes so much restraint for me to not comment on doechii’s posts like I know her