baby yanks!

I have the toenail age of a 42 year-old. Tortoise.

@hollyanderson.bsky.social may I interest you in a heavy metal windmilling cheerleader? www.instagram.com/reel/DPrzqkB...

Mash up bands: The The Doors

Trin in her goals era

If CHI/MIL was an NBA game, Scott Foster would definitely be on the whistle. There’s a clear outcome the suits desire in this one.

art of the deal

Volunteering at a youth soccer tournament this weekend. I’m on a field with two u9 games (kids are 8 and 9 years old). Parents have set up video equipment on both fields. For 8 and 9 year-olds. Lord have mercy.

Deserved, that goal

Max Arfsten has great feet. We need to work on his hair.

More of this Balogun, please

Isn’t this shit embarrassing to you, GOP? Like, your king is objectively a moron and yet you worship him uncritically. How sad for you. And for us.

For posterity’s sake: bacon, egg, and cheese on a toasted everything bagel with a couple dashes of Tabasco and a cup of black coffee. The Tabasco/coffee combination is goddamn alchemy.

equally logical phrase: "tangerine dinosaur overtly stump"

I don’t hate America, Mike. I just hate what you’ve done to it.

DUDE! TRIGGER WARNING!

MOVE OVER MERKLE’S BONER!

Roki Sasaki is pretty obviously an elf. Is that legal?

The Wall Street Fucking Journal published something this obviously and laughably stupid? My goodness.

this dude is either the dumbest theatre-goer alive or andy kaufman.

motherfucker said "baby in her placenta"

The President* can’t find his own ass with both hands, but we’re expected to believe this nonsense? God hates liars, Senator.

the dodgers are rolling kershaw out just like the government is doing to trump.

sundown, we better take care...

i enjoy the traditional yankee elimination day festivities

Had anyone in the pool just said, “Sir, that’s just not true. Where are you getting your information?”

blood is, quite literally, on the administration and musk's hands. and by extension, all of us. this is an eternal shame on the united states.

Good Christian values on display here. Very godly.

Nick Clegg gives Dwight Schrute, no?

Dumped

i'm not sure which is more disgusting, the bald-faced lies or the gutter racism. okay, it's the racism. but the lies are pretty fucking disgusting.

i literally LOLed at the brazenness of these frauds

Among the more underrated bangers of our time

Blake Treinen vs Philly fans. That’s a real Sophie’s Choice.

This game’s got an Emmet and an Otto. Anyone else just free associate a jugband Christmas?

bari weiss is german for barry white

all trump has is short-term memory. last person he talks to wins.

i'd say we should keep trying to make them look ridiculous, but they're so damn good at doing it themselves. we're a week away from one of them shooting himself in the dick.

the news from boulder about coach prime's health adds weight to something i started believing earlier in the season. i think this is his last year at the helm. i do think he likes it there, and so maybe they make him ceo or something. so i ask - who's the next head ballcoach for the buffs?

The Lord hates liars

i'm gonna run for office on a platform that consists of "once you've voted you're allowed to opt out of political advertising". i never need to hear winsome earle-sears' bizarro "i am speaking" soundbite ever again.

The Mariners have an impressive array of hairstyles and facial topiary

Look at these chucklefucks behind him laughing and cheering. How embarrassing for them and for us.

If Stephen Miller really wanted to be useful, he’d do something about people FaceTiming in coffee shops with their volume up and no headphones. But he’s probably one of those inconsiderate assholes.

Had high hopes for this guy, too. This ain’t what the staties are doing, unless my eyes are lying.

That was quite a basketball game.

on the flipside, i will quit my job for the opportunity to perp walk stephen miller when the time comes.

i thought this quote was a parody. holy fuck. she's parody made real. we live in parody made society. i'm gonna drink beer and eat barbecue until i pass out.

you couldn't give me a million dollars worth of these (you totally could. i'd just deposit them.)